Since We Were 18 ⭐Nouis⭐

Chapter 33

Connor's POV:

We all sat at the dinner table and joked around. I was sat next to Tate and Maya with Niall and Louis across from us. Melia sat at the end while Audrea was asleep on the couch. Niall had said that once all of us were done he would make some soup for her since she was sleeping again.

"So Connor what is it like doing online school now?" I turned to Maya and smiled.

"It is so much better than public. I do miss seeing Zayn everyday for art class though oh and Troye since he did also switch so that we could hang out more." I felt my face heat up at the mention of him but she didn't notice as she turned to Louis and Niall.

"When did Zayn take up a teaching career?"

"After One Direction ended he decided that he wanted to try out his art talents and ended up getting a degree in teaching." She nodded.

"I guess its a good job. Although teachers don't get paid much anymore."

"Yea but it isn't like any of us need anymore money. We are all set for life." Louis laughed and Niall looked at him and smiled brightly. As much as I still, and always will, hate Louis for what he did I understand what people say now. I understand what they mean when they say that Niall is in love with him.

I looked down at my plate and moved my fork around the pork chop. I still hadn't ate much, just enough to get by. I glanced up to Niall and saw him watching me now. He rose an eyebrow at me and I just signed and put my fork down.

"Connor are you okay?" I nodded but he didn't seem to believe me.

"I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry I just can't right now." I pushed my chair away from the table and stood up. I started walking away when I heard another chair scratch across the floor. I kept walking and tried to ignore the footsteps behind me. I stepped into my room and went to shut the door when a hand held it open. Niall walked in and pulled me into a hug.

"You need to eat something Connor." I pulled away from him and went over to sit on my bed.

"I'm just not that hungry." He ran a hand through his hair and came over to sit next to me.

"I think I'm going to call the therapist that I had." I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What?!"

"Connor, she is really nice and never judged me. I don't think that mine and Louis' help is enough. I want you to get better as fast as possible."

"Dad I just don't want to eat. It isn't a big deal."

"I know that you don't want to but you need to live. Don't you want to have more time to spend with me and your siblings? What about Troye? What if he found out you aren't eating again?" I shrugged.

"He's seventeen. I'm fifteen. I'm sure he would easily find someone better than me." I looked down at my hoddie sleeve and began to mess with it.

"Don't you ever say something like that again. Troye cares about you so damn much. Anyone can see that, even if they don't know you and him personally just from the look he has when he sees you gives it all away." I sighed and looked away from him.

"Dad I-" he shook his head.

"No Connor, I love you. Louis loves you. Melia loves you. Tate loves you. Audrea loves you. Troye loves you. Stacy loves you. Andrew loves you. Zerrie loves you. Hennedy loves you. Darcy loves you. Payzer loves you. Their kids love you. So many others love you. Why can't you love yourself?" I sat back as my mind thought about his words. Do they all really love me?

"How do you know all of them love me?" I whispered as I looked up at him.

"Because you are Connor Joel Tomlinson-Horan. It would be impossible to not love you." I thought back to all those lonely days at school. I had a few friends and always made it sound like I had one best friend but I really didn't.

"Then why didn't anyone at school like me?" He reached over and put his hand on my knee.

"Because you went to a public one. Public schools are always filled with assholes. Besides, you don't have to worry about them anymore. They are shit people who did shit things to you. But now you are surrounded by nice people who will love and take care of you. I promise you will never have to deal with them again." I smiled at him and stood up.

"Thanks. You're right. Yea I'm going to have days that just pull me down but I can't let them hold me there." Just then Louis walked through the open door.

"Hey. I just wanted to come see how you guys are doing." I watched as he made his way over to where Niall sat. He smiled down at him but didn't dare touch him.

"I'm fine but Connor over there needs to eat." Louis set his eyes on me and seemed to be burning a whole in my skin.

"Why aren't you eating?" I shrugged.

"I don't know." Lie I knew exactly why. At first it was to show Niall what he was doing to himself but then I started to see that maybe I was actually fat and skipping meals became addicting. So I cut everything out.

"You know that you are too skinny right? You need to gain weight." I shook my head.

"No I'm not." I watched as Niall stood up and looked at me along with Louis who never took his eyes off me.

"Do you mean to tell me you think you are fat?" Niall said with a confused but stern voice.

"Do you really think you need to lose weight?" He stepped towards me as his mouth dropped in disbelief.

"Connor look at this." He put his two index fingers together along with his thumbs, forming a circle.

"Do you see how small that is?" I nodded, clearly confused.

"Pull up your hoodie a little." I grabbed ahold of it and lifted it up to where an inch of my skin was visible. He stepped in front of me and put his hands around my stomach. His index fingers made contact again as did his thumbs.

"Connor you are a fucking toothpick we need some food inside of you." He said and Louis nodded.

"I want to try." Louis walked over and Niall removed his hands. Louis showed me how big the circle was before he reached down and wrapped his fingers around. I watched in horror as his tiny hands could also touch.

"When did this happen?" I asked and they both shrugged.

"You lost sight of what you were truly doing to yourself. But now both of us are here to help you." As soon as Louis removed his fingers I hugged him.

"I missed you." I muttered into his shirt.

"I missed you too."

Word Count: 1216