Side 1: Cole Sprouse

24

I didn't sleep at all for the second time this month. First it was the horror movie and now it was because Cole was in my bed clinging to me. He was asleep by the way his soft breaths were the only sound in my apartment. I thought about our short and brief conversation last night trying to remember what was said. I do remember him saying he missed me but how could he miss me if he hardly knew me? I hardly knew him. I just knew him as the guy on the corner, then the guy with a twin, then the guy who's my friend. He can't miss me because we hadn't kissed with emotion and there is nothing to miss. I just been in my apartment missing in action for a few days trying to get my head together because everything was wild right now. Sure I missed him days when he wasn't on the street corner smoking and I had no one to watch with the same interest but I don't think it was the same thing. Cole had a girlfriend and just recently broke up with her therefore he should be down in the gutter about it, he should be a wreck because they knew eachother since they were kids. Nothing makes sense anymore with Cole and I just wish I could talk about it but it's none of my business. I've been letting my mouth ruin me enough so I just need to stop talking period. Cole wanted to kiss me, I talked him out of that, Cole wanted to kiss me again, and I talked him out of it AGAIN. I've been longing to be kissed by Cole and I've done nothing else so far then push him away because of my own insecurites. All I do is ruin all good things that come to me and I can't keep doing that because here I am laying in bed with someone I think that wants me and all I can manage is to make him feel alone. I pulled away from Cole to get a good look at the guy I was abandoning and told myself one last time I cannot continue to hurt myself and possibly him like this. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips to his with no regret. I could feel a flurry in the pit of my stomach but I wasn't going to stop now. He wasn't kissing back at first but of course it took him a minute to wrap his head around the fact I was kissing him without his awareness. He slowly wrapped his arms around me and tightly hugged me as we kissed passionately. As we kissed I was thinking of everything. I was thinking of what to say after I pulled away because I didn't think things through until last minute and I was also wondering what was swirling through his head. It was getting hot and heavy in this room and the sun was just peaking through the blinds on my window but it was to much going on to stop now. I could feel his hard on press against my leg and I couldn't help but feel excited too. We rolled over so he was on the top of me running his hands along my skin gently. When his lips parted mine they connected with the skin underneath my ear and trailed down below. The further he went down the tighter I gripped his hair humming in pleasure. I'm sure we weren't going to go all the way but no words were needed. His eyes opened and his lips were on mine again parting them to slip a tongue in. I felt like i had the world in the palm of my hands and nothing could change it. He stopped the kiss and when I opened my eyes he was hovered over me opening his eyes too with a boyishly handsome smile. His bright smile bought a tug at my cheeks and in a matter of seconds we were staring at eachother smiling. I place a hand on either of his face and leaned forward kissing him once more. "You didn't sleep at all last night did you?" He asked with a knowing smirk on his face. "Me either." He said dipping his head back into my neck for another tender kiss. I was still confused but I was happy though so I didn't mind. "You're cute in the morning." I pointed out ruffling his blonde locks out of his face but due to his volume it only fell back infront of his eyes again. "You are gorgeous all hours of the day." I couldnt hold back a giggle and a blush. I covered my mouth hiding my grin as he stared down at me with a look of amazement. "I can't believe this." I said in utter astonishment. I couldn't find the words to correspond with my emotions in this moment other then bliss. "I can. I knew I wanted you." He said still hovering over me. "Really?" I pressed in disbelief brushing my hands up and down his strong arms. He nodded confirming his words, I raised my eyebrows and stared back into his eyes. My eyes couldn't remain on his eyes because they wandered to his moist lips then back to his eyes. "I'm gonna shower and get ready for some coffee." I stated blankly patting his shoulder and sitting up as he moved off of me to get up as well.

Next Update: later on or tomorrow