Born 2 Be Wild-A Merle Dixon love story

Chapter 57

Daryl's P.O.V

It's been three days and Jess has only left that cell twice. If anyone tries to get her up that's not me she threatens to beat the hell out of them. Which she couldn't even if she wanted to. She's way too weak to throw a hard punch. Carol suggested that we gather everyone from C block to show her that we care about her, so we're gonna give that a shot. I'm not sure how well it'll work, but at this point I'm willing to try just about anything.

I approached her cell slowly incase she was sleeping, but she wasn't. I knocked just loud enough for her to hear and stepped into her cell. "Jess, everyone wants to talk to you." I said softly.

"I don't care." Jess replied. Her voice sounded thick, like she'd been crying for three days straight.

"Well, I think you should listen to them. They just want to help." I tried reasoning.

"They can't help me. No one can. No one alive anyway." Jess muttered.

Okay, kind and caring isn't working. Time for some Dixon style love. "If you don't get out of this bed I'm gonna throw you over my shoulder and carry you down there." I said, crossing my arms.

"I'll fight you."

"You couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper sack right now. You can come willingly or not so willingly, but either way you're going." I said, then gave her a second to debate her choices.

She turned over to face me and sat up. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. Her face was tear streaked and her hair was a mess. It scared me a little, I've never seen her like this. I'm sure Merle had but this is new to me. My unbreakable Jess broke. She stood up but lost her balance almost immediately. I put my hands on her shoulders to steady her and our eyes met. Her eyes held none of the happiness or life that they did five days ago. It broke my heart to see her this way.

She put her arm around my shoulders and I helped her down the stairs then to the commons room. When we got there she was able to stand on her own so I joined the rest of the group. Jess sat down at one of the tables and looked at everyone. Seeing her from a distance I can definitely see how much weight she's lost. Her curves are gone and her face is much more slender than it was. She doesn't even look like the same Jess. When the Governor took my brother, he took my best friend too.

Pity filled everyone's faces. Everyone also looked very uncomfortable. Guess they got more than they bargained for. Carol stepped forward first, since this was her idea.

"Jessica, honey, we know how much you're hurting but you can't go on like this. You're killing yourself. We all care about you." Carol told her.

The corners of Jess's mouth lifted up slightly but the ghost of a smile was gone just as soon as it started. She didn't say anything in reply.

Hershel stood up and hobbled forward on his crutches. "You can't lose yourself because you lost Merle. You loved him more than anything, that's very clear. But would he want you to do this to yourself?"

I shook my head, Merle wouldn't want her to be like this. Which Merle would know the right thing to say or do to bring her back. Jess and Merle were like two halves of the same person.

Jess shook her head. "But Merle's not here and he's never coming back." Fresh tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"But he's still here with you. All the memories you have with him. Those who love us never leave us, they live on in our hearts. I've been here, where you are and I know it's tough. We didn't know Merle like you did. So we're all unsure of what to say to you. But one thing is for sure, we all care about you and are very sorry for your loss." Rick told her.

Jess stood up and looked around the room angrily. "None of you cared about him. Not a single one of you have ever worried about his safety. You all hated him for who he was. Some of you even wanted him dead." She looked straight at Glenn. "So why aren't you having a party, huh? Does my grief make you too uncomfortable to enjoy your victory?! Have any of you ever thought that maybe if you were all more accepting and forgiving he wouldn't have decided he needed to be a hero? Of course you didn't because you only think of yourselves! I hope you're all satisfied. I hope that after I'm dead you can finally celebrate without hearing my cries for the man that I love more than anything in this entire world. The same one that you all hated and laid the blame on. I don't want any of your fucking sympathy. So spare me your fake pity and bullshit kindnesses. If you weren't kind to him when he was alive don't try to be kind to me because he's dead!"

I crossed the room and tried to hug her but she turned and walked back to her cell. I looked back at our group, most of them looked shocked or ashamed. Some people had both going on. She was right, partly so anyway. I wish the three of us would have left after the Governor attacked the first time. I should have listened to Merle.

I waited a minute to see if anyone was going to say anything, but they all stood there like they'd just been slapped. I walked away, to Jess's cell. When I walked in she had her pistol in her hand, she was staring down at it. I put my hands up when she looked up at me.

"Every second that I'm alive without him I want to kill myself. You have no idea how long I've laid here with this gun to my temple and the safety off." Jess said suddenly.

Before I could stop her she clicked the safety off, pulled the hammer back, and put the gun to her temple. A panic that I've never known before took over me. I didn't move an inch until she put the gun down. She put the hammer back and laid it down in her lap. I grabbed it quickly and stuck it in my back pocket.

"Don't piss yourself Daryl, I'm not gonna kill myself. Not until I kill the Governor anyway. I want my face to be the last one he sees before I end him. I want him to see the satisfied smile on my face before I put a bullet in his brain." Jess told me.

I searched her cell anyway and took all of her weapons, just in case she changes her mind. I can't lose her too.