Can I Continue...

That was supprising

Joe's PoV

The one time I was thinking about Maddie and she's the one to pick up. Angry from her pathetic excuse to hide what she had done, I was barely thinking when I growled down the phone.

I can't believe I went out with this bitch, who is now trying to cover up what she did with a pathetic sob story.

She is unbelievably pathetic.

It's thoughts like this that get me into deep shit, the reason I have marks on any school record - my lack of anger management.

So you can probably tell I was barely listening to her until she said some thing that caught my attention. I barked at her to repeat it, not caring about how I treated her.

"Oh, well, um..." She stuttered a bit, probably from my short request. I waited impaciently for her to go on, "what I said the first time was..." She broke off, hesitant to speak but I asked her to continue, with manners this time, "I was talking about how Sam had dropped her and that the girls ran towards her and started beating her up."

She was nearly crying but hiccuped and continued, "I watched, I didn't want to do anything because Sam knew. He knew what I liked. Who I liked." She was basically whispering by now, and I had to strain my ears slightly.

"I was saying how she looked so hurt, and I wanted to help her up, or call an ambulance, or get you, or Sam, or one of her other friends, but I knew they wouldn't believe me anyway. Then I was saying how the other girls ran off to chase after the pregnant one, Sapphire I think her name is, as she would be the next slowest, and then her younger sister. I stayed where I was." I could hear her sniffles, and despite what she had done, hated the fact I had made a girl cry.

"And she saw me, and all I could think of was why hadn't I helped her? Since the moment I set eyes on her, I knew she was special." I could barely make out what she was saying, even though it was louder, the sobs that now punctuated her sentences making it hard to understand her.

"At first, I thought something was wrong. This was the same feelings I had when I was around Sam. This was a strong crush."

"And then all feelings for Sam vanished, because I met her. I attually met and talked to her. She was so kind, loving and so fragile." She sighed, and I realised she wasn't talking to me, she was talking to herself, and that she was confirming it to me.

"And I asked you out to mask it. But I loved her. I love her. It's always been her." I was shocked, but understood. Besides, it's what Sam did - made everyone else feel like shit to hide what went on inside.

"And the emotions were so strong, I didn't know what to do Joe. I didn't know, and she smiled at me, and I knew she shouldn't have been smiling, so I ment to hug her or hold her or kiss her, but I didn't. My sexuality scares me. So I tried to hide it again, and crushed her - litrally." She was crying so hard, I could hear the sheets of what I'm guessing was her bed as she rolled into what I would guess to be the fetal position, the same position I seemed to have been in.

"I've secretly been to the hospital to see her, Joe. I deflated her left lung and crushed a rib, on top of everything else I've given her over the years, trying to hide it. I hate myself Joe." I was stunned by her outburst. I ran down the stairs, grabbed my car keys and raced out the house before my loving parents could convince me otherwise.

My phone was now on speaker as I started the car. She was just crying over the phone, but providing she was still on the line, it was fine. Not really but still.

I turned onto her road, tears finally threatening to spill as I stopped in front of her house. The curtains of her bedroom were closed, but I could hear loud sobs from her windows, and low music from downstairs, almost louder then her sobs. Her mum and a man must be there - another fling seeing as everyone is told when her dad is on business.

I ran around to the porch, silently grabbing the spare key that was under the mat to let myself in, replacing it afterwards. I passed the lounge where the music came from. Out of the corner of my vision I could see a variety of ripped clothes strewn across the floor.

I felt sorry for Maddie, having been locked in this hell hole.

I ran up the stairs, avoiding the creaky stair, refusing to spend even seconds thinking about the reasons why I knew exactly where things were. I arrived at her door and knocked.

I turned the door know and carefully let myself in, casting my eyes down until the door was locked.

Maddie was sat in the middle of her massive bed, covered by her pillows, duvet, blankets and the only stuffed toys she was allowed to keep from when she was tiny.

Maddie had makeup running down her face, tissues everywhere. She still managed to look amazing, like someone from a movie scene.

I walked over to her bed, detouring slightly to grab her bin and some makeup wipes, also grabbing a hair toggle. I made my way over to her pink canvas bed and she moved marginally to the left, giving me room to sit with room on my side.

I took my shoes off, remembering what lucy liked me to do if she was upset. I hoped in this case, Maddie and Lucy were similar, or I was stuck.

I shuffled onto her bed, handing her the hair band. Silently, she acknowledged me and messily tied her bed head into what lucy called a 'cute messy bun'. I gave her the makeup wipes and she quietly cleaned her make up off. They went into the bin, which was placed next to her bed.

I scooped up all the tissues and one by one sunk shots, perfectly arching all of them so they went in. She giggled, already smiling, and looked at me hesitantly looked towards me before her eyes flickered down. Her smile left as soon as it came.

Gently I brought her into my arms, allowing her to hug me back as she sat on my lap. She looked up with hooded eyes.

"Could you ever forgive me?" I looked down at her and sighed slightly. She tensed up, preparing for the worst.

"Yes," I replied gently, "Sam would, Sapphire would, Dan and Derek would, and eventually, Ruby would."

She looked at me, new tears in her eyes. "But would lucy?"

I couldn't answer her and she knew this, and cried into my arms. I consoled her as best I could.

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A/N so that happened. I'm not sorry. Most bullies have issues of their own that they have to deal with and end up taking it out on other unfortunate souls. I needed to show this in a realistic way that still managed to symbolise something. If you feel personally effected by what I've put in my story I'm truly sorry but if you are in anyway in disagreement or disapproval of any of the "not normal" values my characters have (different sexualities, races eg) then I have no sympathy. My characters are all my experiences, me, my family and friends and some are based on real life.

Sorry about the paragraph, it was important for me to say this. Thank you for reading if you did.

Love you all,

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