Can I Continue...

Fuck all that is good and holy

The red dot that had the names of every girl from the past month was one of many. The friends of the hospital had raised money and the sign was moved and placed to be near the rooms of the people next going onto it. In the room opposite to Lucy's was the girl at the top of the list named Natalie.

I stood up at the same time as Maddie, but while she went into Lucy's room, I decided to give this Natalie a visit.

I knocked and a frail come in was given. Slowly I opened the dorm, refusing to pass over the threshold until given the true okay, changing my mind immediately when I saw the room was dark, covered in a ghostly grey light.

The only inhabitants of this room were an old lady wearing thick sunglasses who sat in a wheelchair beside the bed, a younger woman who stood with her back to the bed, and a tiny little girl who laid on the bed, covering her eyes until I closed the door, plunging the room back into semidarkness.

"You can turn on the lights if you want, just give me a moment." And so I did. I heard russling and quiet mumbling before she cleared her voice. I took that as an ok and turned on the light.

The girl now had big, almost goggle like glasses on that were tinted black, a thicker, more hospitalised version of what her (I'm guesssing) gran has.

I looked at her carefully, not wanting to give myself away but curious with questions burning in my mind. As if on que, the one facing away responded; "Natalie has had a pain in and around her eye for the past couple of days, and more recently has had cloudy vision, impared by black spots so yesterday I took her up here and the doctors rushed her away. Apparently Natalie has heavy symtoms most commonly reconised as eye cancer, although can occasionally mean something else." The lady was choking up but the young girl put her hand out, the sheets rustling as she did so.

"It's okay Momma, you needn't say anymore, I'm sure he has the idea," Natalie said smiling at me. I was still confused by the glasses but they all seemed to be fricking mind readers. As the mum turned around, the older lady spoke.

"Poppet you have too much trust in strangers. You can only hear him, not see his large form and sturdy figure. If you chose to continue, do so at your own risk. I will no longer be a part of this. I love you sweetie, you're my strength.  Keep fighting migit." I felt the need to look away so I looked towards the mum as her grandma talked, realising she had turned around so I could see her face.

Natalie's mum had a beautiful face, naturally prominent cheekbones, evenly proportioned face and almost glowing coppery skin. Her eyes are what supprised me however. She had one bright blue that reminded me of Joe for some odd reason, while the other was grey and cloudy. I noticed heavy eye problems came in the family.

The wheelchair squeaked as it rolled out the room.

I turned my attention back to the tiny girl. Although she had heavy bald spots, Natalie was evenly proportioned on the face with a noes like her mother but fatter lips like her gran. She wore small pink bracelets on her wrists and managed t to look cute in a provided hospital gown. Her fingernails were a slightly chipped hot pink and her smile lit up the room, so much the lights were hardly needed. I walked slowly towards her, my feet making a loud noise, not purposely but obnoxious none of the less. I saw Natalie's lips twitch upwards and I smiled back despite the face she couldn't see me.

Although Natalie's body only made her look about twelve, if thst,  I had reason to believe, from the way she handled the situation with such authority but also innocence to how she called her mother 'Momma'. Either way the small being on the bed clearly had a big heart.

I cleared my throat awkwardly and decided to talk.

"I'm sure you won't reconise my voice very well, if at all as I normally visit the girl who is in the room opposite yours. My name's Samuel but my friends call me Sam. I run track and cross country, play football, basketball, rugby and sometime cricket but manage to hate exercise unless it involves these things. The potential love of my life is currently in a coma, my family has and still is falling apart at the seams and my brother has recently passed. I don't know how old you are but wanted on impulse to get to know you and your family. I will leave whenever/if ever you want, but I'm quite stubborn otherwise." I puffed out, a little out of breath from a speech I wasn't aware I was going to deliver.

In response Natalie replied with ha speech of her own: "Well, you know I'm Natalie. I may have eye cancer like my dad used to have. I'm 11 years old but I am very short, as you can probably see. I love dance, drama and music, my best friends are called Lisa and Jesse. I have 3 siblings - jade who is 18 and lives with her boyfriend, Jaden who is 14 and is currently with his step dad at the house hopefully arriving later, and Jordan who is..." She counted on her hands, cutely messing up and accidentally missing the fingers, "he's 9 and likes to play cars and football. My Momma is very stressed at the moment because she's in between jobs but I have faith that she will get a new one, even if I'm not around to see her achieve it." She swallowed deeply before smiling.

I looked at her mum and smiled, looking at the happy tears rolling down her mum's face made everything that much more real.

"Sam? Sam!" I could hear my name, and Natalie could too, the way her ears perked up and she sat a little straighter trying to concentrate, "dammit Sam where are you?" I looked up sheepishly.

"It was lovely meeting and talking to you Natalie, and your mum,"

"Saravia, my name's Saravia. Thank you for coming. I hope in the future you will return, regardless of your friend." She dropped her voice, "thank you for putting a true smile on my daughters face." I smiled gently at her.

I walked towards her and out stretched my hand as she did hers. Then I went over to Natalie's bed and smiled as she held out her arms. I carefully lowered myself into them and we hugged tightly before she abruptly let go.

"Sam?!" I couldn't quite make out who it was but they seemed to be in a state of panic. I looked towards the door cautiously. Saravia nodded at me.

"Go. Your friends need you." She smiled gently and I returned the gesture before opening the door, but not before warning my small new friend. Immediately my eyes watered from the even brighter lights and I could hear Natalie's room ones being switched back off.

I looked up and down the corridor and saw Maddie and Joe almost running towards me. Maddie grabbed my arm almost painfully, crying her eyes out while Joe just stood, shell shocked. All traces of  smile immediately left my lips and Joe managed to utter the world changing,  catastrophic news that left in me in tears.

"Lucy's flat lined. Her heart is failing and her body might not be strong enough to push trough."

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A/N hello lovelies, welcome to the end of another chapter. This A/N (warning you now) is going to be quite long but I would appreciate it if you found the time to read it if possible.

First off, so much drama is at school right now, and I'm not going into details but some of my friends got really hurt and caught up in it and it was hard for all of us to see and hear everyone talking about it so casually (after the initial shock had died down obviously).
 
Next of all I would love to thank everyone who has read my story through it all and I would hope, no matter how sluggish my updates become, you would continue this amazing support.

That being said, I feel I may need to take some personal time. A lot has been going on at the moment, and I can't always tell people about it. Writing has always been  an escape for me but recently it has become almost a chore, and I refuse to let it get to that so I'm going to take a break. This time will only be spent reading (and writing if possible,) and clearing my head, either no or small updates, maybe a teaser if it takes that long. I don't know how long it will be for, but I'm hoping no longer then 2 weeks. This, however, does not mean it completely leaving wattpad; feel free to message, comment and stuff if you want.

Even after I come back, update may bot be as regular as they used to be because I'm writing a short story. It's only going to get published once it's entirely finished but I'm working on it.

Finally I have to apologise for my chapters being rather varied in their styles, texts, vocabulary and moods. My writing is almost entirely dependent on my emotions and at the moment I can't trust my emotions.

Thank you for reading. It means the absolute world to me and I hope to come back soon (properly). Until then,

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Comment,

L xxx