Can I Continue...

Waking up

Lucy's PoV

When you can't open your eyes, does that make you blind? If you can't feel your legs, does that mean they aren't really there?
If you want to wake up, does that mean you will.

Not necessarily. The only correct response to these questions, for me anyway.

I feel something, a sence of restlessness within the room I've been in for a long time; the room in the hospital which yesterday reached a code black.

While I have little to no idea of what a code black is, it seems ominous. This theory is backed by the fact I'm being evicted from the room that my friends and family constantly visit me from.

I can hear them but I long for more - I long to see their faces.

I wish to see my mum, a happy soul, not the broken person who needed help standing up because of the tears streaming down her face when she finally found me. I can't see her face, just the tears. I wish to see dad, who is going to be acting strong for mum but when she goes to sleep will oftern cry alone to release pent up feelings. I know he does this because it's also what I do - what I used to do. I can't remember what they look like, just what he wears and how much she cries.

I wish to see my friends, I want to see us as one big, happy, whole and functional group of society. I wish to see everyone I've ever worried, even if it's just for one last time before something else happens. I just wish I could remember their names.

And slowly the meds die down, and the rage like pain consumes my body. As usual I try to cry out, normally with no success, but this time luck has finally pitied me.

I make a noise.

I was crying. Tears streaming down my face as I struggled to breath, but for once because of all the right reasons.

I felt my eye lids fluttering and hoped the doctors would arrive soon. Hopefully it was visiting hours.

But apparently that was  not the case.

Nevertheless, after only what must have been a couple of minutes, two destinctive foot falls - one set of heels and a slower pair of boots.

This is actually happening.

I heard a low voice speaking rapidly, probably on a phone. My heart was beating eradically from all the thoughts when something kind of important crossed my mind.

No meds.
They were removing the tubes from my arms, which felt amazing but also concerning seeing as I couldn't move from the pain building up in my legs.

I screamed, my hoarse voice breaking from its lack of use. I marvelled at the sound despite the growing pain that had started at my ankles but was now at me knees. I can't feel my legs. I tried lifting my arm. It felt heavy, but I was able to do it. To try to lift my leg put so much pressure on it I felt something click but I couldn't feel the sting over the roaring pain.

Yet again I was comparing myself to Bella Swan - the pain she's in as she gets turned into a vampire is incredible and strong, but inimaginably painful for the most part.
That's how my legs felt.

I saw red on the outskirts of the black that I'd grown all too used too. I could feel fire licking up my legs and resting at my pelvis. My legs were on fire, the burning sensation distracting me from any rational thoughts as I screamed for help, my raspy voice probably making it sound as if I was in a horror movie to the world outside this room.

I was immune to everything the world had to offer, except the unmeasureable pain that currently coarsed through my body in pulses, almost, but not quite as fast as the blood.

I felt small stabbing sensations up my arms as they removed the tubing and I was able to move my arms around - it was the medicine keeping me down.

The door was opened and a commotion of noise wafted in; loud cries and stutters of excitement, many feet rushing up and down the corridor, and the cracking of the door.

My head pounded, my body ached and I couldn't breath properly from the seemingly everlasting pain threatening to consume the test of my body.

And then, nothing.

Nothing on the pain scale.

No noise.

No black.

I opened my eyes to the brightest pair of odd eyes I've ever seen. An usual shade of bright blue in one eye and a more sea like blue, almost with lilac specks in it, in the other. 

The lilac bits looked like jellyfish in the sea.

I giggled and everyone stared in amazement. My eyes trailed around the room at the sea of faces, none of which I recognised by

Not even the one pulling me into a huge hug.

"Sorry, um, friend, I can't breath. It appears you have hugged me." My own voice was foreign to me as I struggled to comprehend what I had just said.

What did I just say?

That I can't breath, I called someone who clearly knows me quite well 'friend' and stated the ding dang obvious.

He sucked in a huge breath, obviously startled by my outburst.

I bit my lip, comtemplating what would be said next as he stood shell-shocked.

I feel a bit self-conscious.

I began to panic a little bit when a kind, slightly older looking woman came up to me. She walked with a sense of grace but restlessness as she came to a stop at my bedside. For some reason she calmed me down a fair bit.

Taking my hand in hers, she looked down. "Remember me darling?" People began whispering at the statement but someone,with a hushed voice urged them to leave. They did.

I thought as hard as I could, a monitor lighting up different parts of a brain on the screen as I thought. That brain isn't normal is it? There is a squashed side. Maybe that's why I can't remember most of these people. They seem to love me very much though, especially this nice lady.

I wonder who she is?
Will I hurt her if I say I can't remember?

I shook my head, momentarily distracted by the buzzing that started in my head.

Her glassy eyes finally let the tears spill over and I looked away in shame.

What have I done? What should I do?

Why I can't remember what happened to me?

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A/N hey guys, I'm worry that this chapter was supposed to go out one week after the last, and I'm not sure that happened. Although this chapter is pre writen, I'm atually not feeling great. It seems like the world is attempting to conspire against me but I still wanted to get this out.

If I'm not able to update again before, have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year or just a lovely holiday to those of my readers who don't celebrate this type of stuff - happy holidays this everyone nevertheless.

I love you guys and I will try this point update again before on on Christmas day,

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Comment,

L xxx