Can I Continue...

Dammit

[A/N - the next few chapters are in Joe's or Sam's point of view unless otherwise specified, reason why soon revealed, they swear alot in comparison xx]

Joe's PoV

I cradled Lucy's head as it lolled to one side, her eyes opening but glassy and empty. I wanted to cry, to scream, to curl up into a little ball, and from the splashes of emotion of Sam's face, I guess he felt the same way.

Trying to hide my emotions wasn't working. 

Trying to stay strong wasn't working.

What I wouldn't give for me to be in Lucy's place right now, I don't know. She means the world to me and it was crushing seeing her so broken. Especially since the bitch that allowed it all to happen was the one to fuck with their minds in the first place.

She was the one who made Sam leave us.
She was the one who pressurised Lucy into being something she's not.
She was the one who starts all the rumors.

I want to punch that bitch right in her ugly little face.

Because I only just got her back, and now my crush might be gone forever.

I never realised how much we meant to her, going out with girls was a way to get over her, convinced she never had any feeling towards me. I know she likes me as a brother, that much is obvious from the way she looks at me, but I might never see her beautiful, hazel brown eyes again.

All because of her fucking crush.

Sam's PoV

Tears streamed down my face, the bad boy facade destroyed. I hate Maddie. I just wanted to spite Lucy. I don't even know why anymore,  and to think she may have died before I got to tell her how I feel really sucks. Lucy was Cam's best friend, she was going to be mine, but now she might be gone.

I don't want to lose faith but there's an obvious problem when you see the paramedics whispering frantically to each other, only hearing short snippets of scattered conversations like "Lack of equipment", "Terrible condition" and "Time is against us."

The ambulance service were in such a rush; they took her at full speed down what was left of the hill and into the van, taking only her mum with them when she ran back up and stood next to her dad. Her dad seemed to be in shock,  standing slightly to one side of the large group that circled us. Drying blood stained my shirt as I was thankful I had left my leather jacket behind on the seats.

I can only compare the morbid scene playing out in front of me to how Cam used to describe his sight; an obvious lack of colour in a supposedly bright life.

Everyone was still; there was no noise to break the deafening silence that enveloped the large group, our sobs subsiding as it really sunk in, only broken as Lucy's mum fell to her knees, letting out a strangled sob, a cry of supreme sadness, so full of emotion it released us all from the lack of sound and sobs broke out from everyone as we all morned for more than one person.

I can't even look at Joe or her mum, they both look beyond broken. I ended up looking up at the bleak sky, a single raindrop falling onto my face, mingling with the tears silently running down my face, puddles on the grassy floor made only from our tears until it started pouring.

Everyone gave final sad smiles and sympathy pats and ran into vehicles that soon speed off. Suddenly, it was just me, Joe,  Dan, Derek and Sapphire  (who had previously changed out of her dress into what was presumably a more comfortable outfit of leggings and a baggy black tshirt with smart black and white blazer like jacket on top). We sat in a smaller circle than before, blank expressions on our faces as we all thought differently.

I hate how it was her, and not one of us.

I hate how it was him, and not one of them.

I hate how we were always put in life changing positions by ugly bullies who had nothing better to do in their life then to fuck with us.

I hated how for ages I was so mean to her, I mean I nearly ended her life and now because of my "girlfriend" I've potentially done it again.

How could I have been so stupid?

Suddenly my aim of trying to spite my old friends for no apparent reasons seemed dumb and stupid, drowned by the stupidly serious position I've put us in.

Sapphire cluched at her stomach, a small bump barely visible under her outfits but there if you really looked. I hate what I said about them, being so rude about the image of consent. I totally remember how mellow Dan used to be, and not much has changed by the looks of it.

So it should have been expected when Dan immediately began to panic as Sapphire breathed deeply, looking straight across the circle towards me, who apparently knew how to deal with this.i recon it would probably be stress relayed contractions or heavy movement, it's what happened to mum.

Determined to prove myself a changed person, I exaggerated my breathing,  taking slow, deep breaths in and exhaling out. She followed me, giving me a panicked but gentle smile as I helped her go through contractions. From the corner of my eyes I saw Derek give me a small smile that didn't look at all forced like the ones he used to give me. Dan gave me a thankful smile as Joe patted my back gently. 

Supprising us all, my arms quickly wrapped around Joe's waist, hugging him tightly. I felt him tense, then relax slightly as we hugged - not a stupid "manly" handshake - a proper, good natured hug that allowed mutual platonic feelings to be shared.

I heard him sniff, right next to my ear, and realised that Joe had managed, unlike me, to repress the second wave of tears.

"Let it out Joe," I whispered, barely audible. He seemed to hear it, and my covered shoulder felt damp. Joe was crying.

I was crying, we were all crying, eventually in one group hug, the tears streaming down our face as one. The raindrops splattered down, reflecting our feelings and the mood around us.

The grey clouds were dull and bleak, just like the numbness inside.

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A/N I ask yall to be respectful in the fact that it was 4 whole days since the last update. I have books in my library with authors who update once a week, and others who only do once a month. This is fine, and I don't care, but if where I update for you guys so regularly, if timings and stuff get akward and needlessly complicated, please don't take this the wrong way. I love all of you guys/girls/non specific people, you are all amazing.

Just saying, these chapters can be quite heavy, with bold, heartdestroying (for the characters involved anyway) consequences in what they do. While some of my story is based on my real life and experiences (for instance I'm a dancer) there is also things that happen to lucy which are over dramatised to prove points (like in this chapter, I would hope no one would ever have to go through anyone, let alone a crush, litrally stomping on their heart, and it is suppose to symbolise the helplessness of her situation and the pointlessness of her running away).

Please,

Vote,

Comment,

Edit - thus was suppose to go up yesterday but it seems that none has seen it. My fault, sorry. Because of this (and the fact I accidently tried to publish an uncompleted future chapter) I have made the decision to do a double update. This is also because I will not be able to update until Monday. Please excuse me, I'm only human xx