The Only Way Out [Book 2]

Chapter 17 - Dirty Laundry

***Bea's POV

"Oh my God. What have I done?" I say out loud in disbelief.

I just told my husband that he is a bad father, that's what I did and I can't undo it or take it back.

Of course I didn't mean it. I was upset that my sweet girl was in pain and I couldn't do a darn thing about it. I was stuck here breastfeeding Sebastian, and I still am, listening to and watching Ferris cry out in pain.

I was frustrated.

But it didn't give you the right to take it out on him, Bea.

Wiping away a tear, I call him again, only this time he doesn't hang up on me. It just goes straight to voicemail.

I press the End Call button and hold back my sobs so I don't disturb Sebastian, wanting nothing more than to run downstairs and apologize to the love of my life.

Since that's not an option, I use this time to think of what in the world I'm going to say to Harry. I'm at a loss for words because this is one apology I never thought I'd have to give.

I'm distracted by the little noises coming from Sebastian while he eats and I look at him. I can see so much of his father in him and my guilt worsens.

"Sebastian, don't you for one second think that your dad is a bad father," I say while caressing his chubby cheek with my thumb. "Your dad is a loving, caring, sweet, protective man and you're lucky to have him as your father."

Sebastian moves his head away from me, letting out a little cry and I start to cry with him. With tears rolling down my cheek, I take the burp cloth and wipe his chin before lifting him up to my shoulder.

"You have the best Dadda," I mumble on his little head while patting his back. "Okay, little man?"

After Sebastian lets out a few good burps, I slowly get out of bed and place my sleeping boy in the bassinet.

"Mommy loves you," I whisper, covering him with his blanket.

It's like I can't waddle fast enough to the bathroom so I can freshen up and put on my robe.

I need to apologize, but what if he won't listen? He probably hates me. Heck, even I hate me. But I still need to apologize.

Gathering the last bit of courage, I grab the baby monitor and make my way downstairs.

With each physically painful step down, my heart beats faster. I'm incredibly nervous as to how he'll react to my apology and I just hope that he'll forgive me.

As I walk into the living room, a small smile forms on my face when I see my sweet girl sleeping peacefully on Harry's chest.

And the guilt prods my heart even more. Here he is, taking care of our hurting daughter and I had the audacity to call him a bad father.

"Harry?" I whisper as I walk into his view. He doesn't say anything as he turns his head towards me and I get that sinking feeling in my stomach. "Harry, you have no idea how sorry I am."

"And you have no bloody idea how much you hurt me," his voice cracks and I can tell he's been crying.

"Please, Harry, I didn't mean it. I-"

"You didn't mean it? You didn't fucking mean it? Well, that makes it all better, now doesn't it?" he exhales sharply, wrapping the towel around Ferris and he shakes his head. "I can't be around you right now."

"Harry, I'm sor-"

"No," he cuts me off and slowly gets up from the couch.

Without saying anything else, he cradles Ferris in his arms and heads upstairs, leaving me speechless. I don't even have time to process what just happened when I hear him come back down.