The Only Way Out [Book 2]

Chapter 32 - A Sinking Feeling

A/N: Harry New Year! 🎉🎉🎉

Anyone else shed a happy tear?
😂😂😂

***Bea's POV

"Please drive carefully, Harry," I tell him, leaning up to kiss him.

"I will," he nods. "I'm just going back to the store to look for her dolly and I'll be right back," he takes his keys from his pocket and looks at Ferris who has calmed down some. "Do you want me to take her?"

"No, she needs to eat and take an N-A-P," I smile down at her and play with her piggy tails. "And I need to change Sebastian and get his first bottle ready."

"Okay," he says, picking up Ferris. He kisses her cheek as he walks over to the high chair and he gently sets her down. "I think both kids will be asleep by the time I get home," he chuckles. "Don't you?"

"Yeah," I sigh, secretly wishing that he won't go while I prepare Ferris' lunch. "Just please be careful, especially with that drunk driver on the road."

"I will, Love," he kisses my cheek before walking out of the kitchen.

I tell him that I love him and he tells me that he loves me just before I hear the front door shut. I look over at Ferris and smile as I set her chicken nuggets and French fries on her tray.

"Doesn't this look yummy?" I ask in fun tone and she nods, reaching for a fry. I take her apple juice box and fit the straw inside and set it on the tray, "Here you go, sweet girl."

Ferris grabs onto it with both hands and takes a sip, looking up at me with her big blue eyes.

"What do you say, Ferris?" I ask her while taking the formula out of the grocery bag. "Hmm?"

"Thank you, Mommy," she grins, reaching for a nugget and she takes a bite.

"Good girl," I praise her. "You're welcome."

Knowing she's okay for the moment, I walk over to the cabinet and search for one of Sebastian's bottles. As I prepare the formula, a sinking feeling washes over me. I feel weird but I can't put my finger on it.

Maybe I'm hungry? Or maybe it's the fact that I can't breastfeed my baby for a while? This just sucks.

After I warm the bottle, I prepare my lunch and my stomach growls. I take off the plastic lid to my salad and drizzle on some vinaigrette dressing. I look over when Ferris proudly shows me a half-eaten chicken nugget and I acknowledge her with a smile as I twist off the cap from my water bottle.

With my food easily accessible, I walk over and take Sebastian from his car seat, giving him little kisses on his forehead as I walk back over to the table. I grab my donut pillow and center it on the chair next to Ferris and carefully sit down.

Cradling Sebastian in my left arm, I start unbuttoning my blouse and I quickly realize that I don't need to.

You're a failure, Bea. No, stop it. It's only for a little while. God, I hate this.

"Wake up, little man," I coo, gently brushing my thumb on his cheek. He takes in a breath and I smile at his beautiful face as I grab the bottle. Using the rubber nipple to gently open his mouth, I put my feelings of failure aside and feed my son his first bottle of formula. "There you go, Sebastian. That's my good boy."

While he goes to town, I prop the bottle on my useless breast and reach for my fork. It's just me and my kiddos while we eat our lunch and a small smile forms on my lips.

And the only thing that would make this better, is if Harry were here.

After a few minutes, I set the empty bottle on the table and lift Sebastian to my shoulder. While I pat his back, I remind myself to keep him upright for a half an hour.

I should prop him up when he's in the bassinet, too. Please don't be in pain, little man.

The gurgle of Ferris' empty juice box brings me out of my thoughts and makes me smile.

"Was your lunch yummy, Ferris?" I ask and she nods, immediately rubbing her eyes.

Yeah, a nap sounds good to me, too, sweet girl.

Supporting Sebastian's head with my hand, I carefully stand up and realize that I can't clean up the mess from lunch right now. I know I'll have to get into my groove sooner rather than later but I'm doing my best and I have to accept that.

I take one of the napkins and wipe off Ferris' mouth and hands while I sing the Barney song. Her giggles make me smile as I reach my hand underneath the high chair tray and fiddle with the lock until it opens.

"Okay, big girl," I smile and take her hand, "let's- oh, shoot. How am I going to get you down? Oh my God. How am I going to do this?"

Don't panic, Bea. Think. Okay, this might work.

"Wait for Mommy, please," I pull a dining chair over and take her hand again. "This will be fun! Step onto here like a big girl, please."

My little girl steps onto the chair and looks up at me with unsure eyes.

"Okay, now sit on your bum, please," I kindly tell her and she squats to sit down and scoots off the chair. "Yay, Ferris!"

She claps for herself and I internally pat myself on the back.

"Would you like to help Mommy take Baby Brother upstairs?" I ask in a fun voice and she nods, rubbing her eyes again and I know I have to act fast before she's too tired. "Okay, let's go."

Ferris trots in front of me and I roll my eyes into a smile as I turn out the kitchen light. As we make our way upstairs, I glance at the wall clock and worry washes over me. It's been forty-five minutes and Harry's still not back from the store yet.

It's raining. He's probably just driving more cautiously.

"I'm sleepy, Mommy," Ferris says through a yawn and I smile.

"Me too, sweet girl," I take the last step up the stairs and let out a burp, earning a giggle from my daughter. "Oh, excuse me."

After more time than I care to admit, both kids are changed and asleep in my bedroom. With a sigh, I kick off my sandals and lay down. Yawning, I turn on my side and situate my body pillow between my legs.

In between Sebastian's snores and the rumbling thunder from the storm, I tell myself to stay awake since Harry isn't home yet.

And that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach comes back. It still might be hunger because the salad didn't fill me up, but there's something else.

"My phone's downstairs."***

A/N: I just love cliffhangers. Don't you? 😂😂😂

Much Love.
❤❤❤❤