The Only Way Out [Book 2]

Chapter 65 - Can't Take It Anymore

A/N: So...Harry's album is out!
🎉🎉🎉
What are your fav songs?
Comment below cos I wanna know!
(I starred my favs 😏)

⭐️Meet Me In The Hallway
⭐️Sign Of The Times
⭐️Carolina
⭐️Two Ghosts
⭐️Sweet Creature
⭐️Only Angel
⭐️Kiwi
⭐️Ever Since New York
⭐️Woman
⭐️From The Dining Table

Harry Fücking Styles did that.

🚨Trigger Warning🚨
Thought of suicide is mentioned.

***Bea's POV

"I want to freshen up before we go downstairs to eat," I say as Harry and I walk down the hallway of my parents' house.

"Alright, I'll go check on the k-," he pauses, keeping sad eye contact with me and he clears his throat. "I'll check on Ferris."

I nod and feel an overwhelming need to hug my husband right now. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, resting my head on his chest and I feel his arms wrap around my back. Harry's embrace is warm, safe and comforting and I don't have a clue how we're going to get through this, especially since it's my fault.

He gently pulls away from our hug, cupping my cheeks that are damp from my tears and he kisses me. I sigh into our kiss, slowly leaning back and my stomach growls.

"I'll fix our plates, too," he smirks and kisses my nose. "Don't be too long."

"I won't."

While Harry heads downstairs, I walk over to the bathroom across my old bedroom. I turn on the light, closing the door behind me and I look around with a slight smile. Since my parents kept the décor from when I was in high school the same, it looks like I've entered a Pepto-Bismol bottle.

My smile fades as I look at the pitiful reflection staring back at me and I exhale deeply. My hair is a mess, my black dress is wrinkled and my heart is completely shattered.

"This is all your fault, Bea," I tell my reflection as I run my fingers through my hair. "If you had only checked on him earlier, he'd still be alive."

The truth stings my heart to the point of tears and I take some tissue paper to wipe my smudged mascara. Heavy bags start to appear since my tears have pretty much wiped off my foundation and I wish I could just go to sleep forever.

I glance to my right and notice the bathtub, remembering that night in high school when I thought Harry and I were over. The pain I felt back then is nothing compared to what I'm feeling now, but for a seventeen-year-old, I just wanted the pain to end.

My hands become shaky as I remember that I wanted to submerge myself under the water until I couldn't feel the pain anymore.

And I want this pain I'm feeling now to end.

The thought of becoming numb to everything crosses my mind and I want to fill the bathtub with water, submerge myself and never feel this pain again.

No, Bea. You can't. Harry and Ferris need you.

I shake my head for clarity and turn out the light before heading downstairs. I hear conversation and light laughter coming from the dining room and I hate that everyone is having a nice time while I'm in turmoil.

Letting out a calming breath, I remind myself that I only have to get through lunch and I walk over to the table.

"Ah, there's Mummy! See, Ferris?" Harry smiles as he stands up from the table. "Here you go, Love. Got your food right here."