The New Kid, A Justin Blake Story//Finished

26-Shower

I woke up and carefully rolled out of Justin's bed, trying not to wake him. I grabbed a towel from his closet, a pair of sweatpants and Justin's purple tye dye 'Justin Blake' shirt. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. I carefully took off my clothes and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I saw all of the marks and bruises he left. My scar that still hasn't completely healed from where I had surgery. The scars from me. I looked at the scars on my wrists. I lifted my hand and ran my fingers across them. I felt the raised bumps on my skin. I set my arm back down by my side and looked in the mirror again. 'Why am I like this?' I thought to myself. 'How can Justin even like me?' 'He's can't' 'He doesn't love me' 'It's impossible.' 'Im disgusting.' 'I'm fat. Im ugly. Im scarred. I'm gross. He can't love me.'

Tears started rolling down my face and my legs gave out underneath me and I fell to the floor. I watched myself sit there and cry. 'Im pathetic' I thought. I looked around and realized the water was still on, I slowly got up and opened the curtain to get in when I saw it. A razor. I tried to fight the urge but I couldn't do it. I grabbed the razor and broke it apart. I sat on the floor and put the razor up to my wrist. Tears fell from my eyes and flooded my vision.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Baby?" Justin said "are you okay? I heard crying and I'm just worried."
"Yeah," I replied, chocking back the tears "I'm fine, I'm just getting in a shower and I stubbed my toe" I sniffled.

I pushed the razor into my skin and slid it quickly across my skin and continued crying. I dropped the razor and closed my eyes. Tears spilled out of the corners. I just lied to Justin, again. I can't. I can't do this.

I threw the razor in the garbage and walked into the shower. I washed off my arm, scrubbed down my body and washed my hair. I got out and dried off, putting on the clothes after.

I walked out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen.

"Hey babe" Justin smiled as he wrapped me up in a hug and pecked me on the lips.
I forced a smile and sat down at the table.

"I made breakfast" Justin smiled, setting a plate down in front of me.
"Thanks babe" I smiled, keeping my arm by my side.

Justin grabbed a plate and sat down across from me.

We ate our breakfast and decided to go hang out in Justin's room again.

"You're such a blanket hog!" I giggled
"Says you!" He yelled, tugging at the blankets.
"Yeah says me!" I yelled back, laughing.
"Im colddd" Justin whinned, pulling the blankets off of me.

Justin paused and looked down at me.
"Aubri," he said, grabbing my arm. He looked me in the eyes and a tear ran down his face "What did you do?"