Finding Yourself

chapter 35

My alarm sounded loudly through my bedroom but I was already laying awake. I didn't really sleep last night at all. I couldn't stop thinking about Harry and much I wished I had listened to Hannah and spoken to him before I got myself into this mess. I sighed heavily and eventually pulled myself out of bed.

I had a shower and then attempted to get ready. 'Attempted' being the key word here considering most of my clothes and decent makeup was at Harrys.

I threw on some old clothes with the mind set of 'it wont matter my apron will cover me anyway' and then concealed the dark circles under my eyes with makeup a few shades lighter than my skin tone. Great. The last thing I wanted to do today was socialise with people and inhale the smell of coffee for hours. Despite that though, of course I did just that.

The day definitely dragged out now I knew Harry wouldn't be waiting for me when I was finished.

As the day went on I got even more tired, even more impatient and even more rude to annoying customers, who normally I'd just be awfully nice to.

Finally, as the clock hit 6:30, I slammed the door and placed the closed sign in the window.

I threw my apron over the counter and quickly cleaned the tables as my bed was really calling my name right now.

The bell on the door chimed and I flew round to see Liam standing in the door way. I knew it wouldn't be Harry but the smallest part of me hoped it would be.

"Hey Mel." He smiled. "I was hoping to catch you, I'm now heading back to the airport. I wanted to say bye."

I walked over to him and gave him a big hug, which comforted me I guess.

"Have a safe flight Liam, It's been so good to see you again."

"It's been good to see you too, I've loved it here. I'll be back real soon I hope."

"Good! You'll have to let me know when for if you need a ride from the airport or anything, now I have your number again we can keep in touch." I smiled.

"Thanks." He paused for a moment and put his hand on my shoulder. "Everything will be okay, you know that don't you?"

I shook my head. "This time, I'm not sure it will."

"Hey, Don't think like that."

"But you know what I did right? You know what stupid thing I did. What was I even thinking? There's no way Harry will talk to me again and it's all my fault." I frowned at the floor.

"He will talk to you again, I know he will because that's the type of person he is. I don't know when but he will so you need to stop beating yourself up about it because how ever much self hate you have right now, it won't change anything. What's done is done and once you've accepted that, you'll feel better for it." He gave me a sympathetic smile and I nodded.

"Thanks Liam."

He pulled me into another hug and I was grateful to have him here.

"Right." He smiled unwrapping his arms from around me. "I've got a plane to catch."

"I'll hopefully see you soon then."

"Keep smiling Mel." He grinned as he left.

I locked up the shop and drove home. I didn't know if Harry really would speak to me again but I knew that what else Liam said, was right. Even though I did regret what I had done, it was done and there's nothing I can possibly do to change it. If I killed Chelsea, I would feel better but that's not on the cards.

I got into my pyjamas, ordered pizza and watched the lion king. You can't beat Disney movies when you need cheering up... although I probably should stop eating pizza, it's all I've eaten since meeting Harry! Him, Louis or Niall clearly can't cook.

When the film had finished it was almost 10 and I had never been so tired. I dragged myself upstairs, wiped away the remainder of my badly applied makeup and pulled my hair into a bun.

I put on one of Harrys tshirts which he had left here from before and climbed into bed.

I checked my phone one last time for anything from him but there was nothing, unsurprisingly.

It took no time at all for me to fall asleep, inhaling Harrys scent from his tshirt.