Finding Yourself

chapter 38

I hung up the phone and panic raced through my veins.

"Melanie what's happened?!"

"It's Hannah, she's been shot, I need to go!" I searched around for my keys and threw the cushions off the sofa. "Keys... keys... where the fuck are my keys?"

Harry pulled my arm and lead me to the door. "C'mon I don't want you to drive, I'll take you, quick!"

I flew out of the door and climbed into Harrys black audi which smelt like him. My favourite smell. I took deep breaths and kept fidgeting around, shouting and swearing at all the slow drivers or traffic.

We finally pulled up outside the hospital and I jumped out of the car before Harry had even stopped properly. Harry followed and we halted quickly at the front desk.

"I'm Melanie Jones. My friend, she's been shot and she should be here, where do I go?"

"It's only close family allowed in with her miss Jones." She said.

For fuck sake. Does it look like I have time for this shit?

"No, you don't understand, I have to go and see her. I got a call from doctor May, Hannah told him to ring me and he told me to come down here. I need to see her."

"You spoke to doctor May?"

"Yes." I repeated.

"Very well then." She smiled. "What about him?" She nodded her head towards Harry.

"Oh he's my..."

He's my what? What are we? Her guess is as good as mine right now.

"I'm her boyfriend." He said snaking his hand around my waist. My eyebrows raised and my stomach fluttered slightly. "I won't be going in to see Hannah, I just drove Mel here. I'll wait outside."

She nodded her head and pointed down the corridor. "Straight down there and take the first door on your left. She's in a room by herself, not on a ward. Her door will have her name by the side of it."

"Thankyou." I called as I was walking away.

Me and Harry rushed down the corridor, weaving in and out of people.

We walked through the door and read all the names on the walls, none of them were Hannahs.

"Shit Harry I need to find her!"

He carried on looking and pulled me towards a door. "Mel, she's in there! I'll be right out here okay?" He said pointing towards a chair next to Hannahs door.

I gulped hard and nodded.

He squeezed my hand and sat down before I turned the handle.

"Hannah!" I gasped.

I rushed over to her and she was hooked up to all sorts of tubes and wires. She had an oxygen mask over her face and she could barely open her eyes.

"I'm glad you're here, Mel." She croaked.

"What happened?!"

"I don't know." She said slowly. "I was in a bar and some men came in with masks on, asking for the money from the till. They fired the gun to scare people but it hit me." She pointed to the big white bandage on the side of her stomach and I could tell she was struggling for breath.

No this wasn't happening. This is all a dream. My bestfriend isn't in hospital she is at home in bed thinking about Liam. Right? Wrong.

"Where was your cousin?" I asked

"Went home with some fella."

"Does she know you're here?"

"No idea." She whispered.

"I keep waiting to wake up. I can't believe this is happening." I said sitting in the chair next to her bed and grabbing her hand the best I could. "How long will you be here?"

"Look at me Mel, I'm not getting out. That's why I'm in here on my own."

My heart ached and my stomach fell. "No Hannah! Don't say that. You are getting out of here. You are!"

"I've been shot in the stomach Mel." She breathed.

"But you're everything I have. You're my bestfriend. You can't leave me Hannah. Please don't leave me."

"You've got Harry now." She smiled. "He'll look after you."

Her voice was raspy and breathless and it killed me seeing her like this. I could feel my heart aching and I wanted her home.

"Listen to me." She said turning her head towards me. "Thankyou for everything. I mean it. There aren't enough words I can say to tell you how much I've appreciated having you there for me all the time and-"

"No Hannah, please don't. Don't say goodbye to me." A single tear escaped my eye.

"I have to, just in case. I don't want to leave you without saying this." She swallowed and caught her breath for a few seconds. "You are an incredible person okay? I don't want you to ever doubt yourself. You're so strong ya know that? Just look at everything you've been through and think about how much you have gotten me through. When I got bullied in high school, you were the only person to stand up for me. When my parents died and I had nothing, you were there to pick me up every single day. When Liam left me, you never once told me shutup whining about him and move on like most people would have! And look where you are now. You're by my side again and that's where you have been for 8 years."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks faster and faster as she spoke. "I'll always be here for you. I won't give up now, please hang on for me Hannah."

"Theres obviously something up there for me Mel. I'll be able to see my mum and dad again." She croaked. "They've probably been calling me up for ages and I guess I was just hanging on until I saw Liam again, which without you wouldn't of been possible. I can't even explain to you how happy seeing him made me feel and now that's it. It's my turn now and you'll be fine with Harry, I promise you that... and when it's your turn to come up to the golden gates, I'll be the first one to welcome you with open arms okay?" She smiled weakly and fought for some more breath while I continued to cry.

"I love you so much. I know we're not soppy but I never told you enough. You're the best friend I ever had and ever will have." I choked.

She squeezed my hand a little more. "Your birthday present is under my bed. Take Harry with you."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see." She smiled. "And I love you too. Harry is lucky to have you. I know you don't think so but it's true."

"Thanks Hannah."

"Can you promise me one last thing?" She whispered.

"Anything."

"Make sure Liam is at my funeral. I need him there."

I closed my eyes and winced at the sound of her talking about her funeral. I could feel my bestfriend slipping away with every second that passed. I tried to hold onto her hand tighter but it wasn't working. Nothing could keep her here with me and it was heart breaking. 

"He'll be there." I said quietly.

"Thankyou." She breathed.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes and the machine by her bedside stopped, her grip loosened on my hand and her body went limp.

My eyes widened and I frantically shook her arm. Nothing.

Loud, heart-wrenching sobs escaped my mouth as I collapsed on my knees next to her, clutching her hand.

"No no no!" I kept shouting. "Come back!"

Harry flew through the door and gathered me up but I couldn't let go of Hannah.

"C'mon baby, it's okay." He said.

He peeled my hand from Hannahs, pressed a button on the wall next to her pillow and carried me out of the room, my sobs not getting any easier.