Finding Yourself

chapter 43

"Shall we all just go back to our place for a few drinks?" Louis asked.

"Yeah that's cool with me. You in Zayn? You can crash on the sofa if Melanie stays."

"Yeah cheers mate."

They fist bumped and I couldn't help but smile. I was glad Zayn and Harry got on because it makes things so much easier. Zayn never really thought much of Jack, making it awkward any time the 3 of us happened to be in the same room.

"Is that alright Melanie?" Harry said lacing his fingers through mine.

"Yeah that's fine. I wanna go home quickly first though to get some stuff so if you wanna get a lift with Louis I'll meet you all at yours?"

"I'll come with you, the others can go with Louis."

I nodded. "You want anything bringing Zayn?"

"Uh, just bring that little black bag I brought to yours, I don't know what I'll need and that as everything in it." He laughed. "Cheers."

"You're worse than her." Harry said to him, nudging my arm.

The other boys went to Louis' car and Me and Harry made our way back over to mine. We walked hand-in-hand in silence back to the car until I pulled away from the church.

"You were great today Melanie. I'm proud of you... and I know Hannah will be too." Harry said squeezing my thigh.

"Thanks." I smiled. "I'm hoping things will get easier now."

"They will, I promise."

--

I dropped Zayns bag next to the sofa. "Do you know how fucking heavy that is?" I said flopping onto the sofa next to Liam. 

"I told you it had everything in it." He shrugged, laughing.

"Here Mel, catch." Niall called tossing me a can of beer.

"Jesus, you nearly took me out." I laughed.

We all opened our drinks and Louis raised his can. "To Hannah." He said.

"To Hannah." Everyone chimed and Liam wrapped his arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

After a while the door bell rang and Louis stood up. "I'll get rid of them."

"No, not today." Louis said as he opened the door.

I couldn't hear the other person but Louis repeated himself again. "Stop! Not today I fucking said."

I heard the clicking of heels and yep, Chelsea came strutting in.

Fucking perfect.

Louis followed her in with a scowl on his face.

"Get the fuck out. I'm not having any trouble today." Louis said pulling her arm.

She didn't take any notice.

"Having a party are we?" She sneered. "I heard about Hannah, Mel." She said in a sarcastic sympathetic voice. "It's very sad isn't it?"

I didn't look up at her, I just stared down at my knotted fingers. 

"I was gunna stop by the church today but something came up. Something more important."

My neck snapped up at her and I stood up.

"Eeeeasy there tiger." Niall said catching my wrist.

"Time for you to leave." Louis said pulling at Chelsea arm again.

"You wouldn't of been fucking welcome in that church." I said glaring at her.

She laughed to her self and her eyes flicked over to the cans of beer on the table.

"I like the alcohol idea, I might celebrate the fact she's fucking dead aswell."

The blood pumped fast around my tensed body and I jumped out of Nialls grip, lunging myself towards her and grabbing a fist full of her hair. I pushed her backwards, making her hit the wall. "Don't you fucking dare talk about her like that!" I shouted, pushing her head further back so it came in contact with the wall.

"Mel..." Louis started.

"No, let her do this." Harry said.

"What the fuck do you honestly want? If you're trying to make my life a living fucking hell, you're too late. I've got enough going on without you poking your nose into every move me and Harry make. We're not in high school anymore Chelsea! There aren't any fucking teachers around to tear us apart and it's not all forgotten after a stupid fucking detention. When will you realise that huh?! You're not even close to half the person she was, you know that? It should be you six feet under the fucking ground, not her! Not Hannah!" I spat.

My grip tightened on her ratty, bleached hair and I dragged her towards the door.

"I swear to god, if you come anywhere near here or near me or near Harry again, I'll punch you so fucking hard... and this time, I won't stop. Do you understand me?!" I shouted.

Chelsea didn't say anything, she just looked at me, panic in her eyes.

"Do you understand me?!" I repeated, my hand twisting harder in her hair.

"Yes, Yes, I understand." She rushed.

I opened the door and threw her out, my knuckles white from clutching her hair so hard.

She picked up her bag that had fell to the ground and shakily stood up again before putting her hand over her head and practically running to her car. I stepped back inside the house, slammed the door behind me and slid my body down the back of it, sobbing into my hands.

"I'll go." I heard Harry say.

He came over to me and dropped to his knees, engulfing me into his chest. He rocked me gently from side to side and let me sob.

"I can't do this." I cried. "I can't live like this for the rest of my life Harry, I can't. Everyday is constant fucking battle and I'm not strong enough to fight it anymore."

He unwrapped his arms from around me and put both of his hands on my cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

"You will get through this Melanie. It's hard now, I know it is but it'll get better. Don't give up now, you're the strongest person I've ever met and I know you can do this. Imagine what Hannah would say if you told her you were giving up! She wouldn't have any of it!" He smiled. "And I won't either. I told you, your time will come when you stop feeling like this but it's not yet. Until then, I will be here for you, everyone will... and I don't think we'll be seeing Chelsea again." He kissed my forehead.

I put my hands over his, that were still on my face and closed my eyes. "I love you."

"Oh baby, I love you too."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hugged me close until Zayn appeared from around the corner.

"Mel, are you alright?" He whispered.

I stood up and walked over to him. "I'll be alright, I have to be." I smiled.

He put his arm around me, kissed my head and lead me back into the living room.

"Right, I think I need another drink." I breathed, sitting back on the sofa.

The other three boys, in turn, rubbed my arm or kissed my head and I knew that no matter what happened, they would be here to support me... and right now, that meant the world.