Finding Yourself

chapter 59

Harry went out with Robin to look at some cars again, leaving me to start packing. We only had one more night here and as much as I loved Anne and being here in Ardara, I couldn't wait to get back home.

I sat in the living room, folding mine and Harrys clean laundry when the door creaked open. I turned my head and Kaylee was standing at the entrance looking at me.

"Mel. That's your name isn't it?" She said quietly.

I nodded and smiled briefly at her. "Yeah... and you're Kaylee?"

She nodded back at me and held up a packet of cigarettes. "Wanna come for a smoke?"

"Sure." I breathed.

I followed her outside and she handed me a cigarette and flicked the lighter, cupping her hand around it for me to use.

"Thanks." I said awkwardly, taking a long drag.

"You don't look like a smoker." She said, blowing the cloud from her lips.

"Lots of people say that." I shrugged.

It was silent for a few moments after that, getting more awkward by the second.

"I'm sorry about this morning." She said, breaking the silence.

"It's okay." I nodded.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yeah." I swallowed quickly and took another drag of my cigarette. "I'm sorry about what he did to you Kaylee. I'd be just as upset or angry or annoyed as you are."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't of brought it up, that shit happened years ago. We were just kids. You didn't argue about it did you?"

"No, I think Harry thought we would but we didn't."

Her small face relaxed as she brought her cigarette to her lips again. She seemed okay really. We wouldn't end up being the best of friends but she didn't seem like an enemy. She definitely wasn't like Chelsea.

"Anne told me how good you are together and I couldn't help but feel kinda jealous. Harry was the first person I really loved and I promise you, I don't feel the same way about him as I used to but he'll always be in my heart... despite how shit he made me feel. Saying that though, I wouldn't want to ruin what you guys have. It was horrible of me."

"It's okay, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. You can't help it and I'm not gunna judge you." I shrugged and took the last drag of my cigarette before tossing it on the ground.

"Thanks." She said quietly. "And I didn't mean what I said earlier. You don't need to watch yourself around him. He's changed now and you're lucky to have him. He cares about you a lot."

I smiled at her and she threw her cigarette down too.

"Kaylee?! We're going now!" A voice called from inside.

"That's my mum." She said rolling her eyes. "You're nice Mel, I hope everything works out for you the way you want it."

"Thankyou, and I hope it does for you too. You deserve it."

She smiled at me and nodded before heading back into the house.

"Bye Mel." She said turning to face me again.

--

Harry ran me a bath and I sunk into it, the bubbles clinging to my skin. I laid there for a while with my eyes closed and I heard Harry and Anne talking from the other room.

"I didn't know they were Harry." I heard Anne say.

I stayed as still as possible so I could listen to what they were saying.

"But she knows now and I didn't want her to. I don't want her thinking that I'm doing that to her because I'm not. I'd never hurt her."

"She doesn't think that Harry otherwise she would have said so. She wouldn't of gone about it the way she did. You can't play on this because then you'll push her away. She loves you, I know she does. The way she was talking to me about you shows that and anyone can see it. I know you love her too so what's the problem?"

Harry sighed and I could imagine him standing infront of his mum with his hands behind his neck, chewing his lip as she spoke to him.

"I don't know. I just don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. I'd do anything in the world to make her happy. It killed me to her in so much pain when Hannah died and I just wanted to shield her from the world. If it has anything to do with me, she'll never feel that pain again."

Hearing Harry say that about me shattered my heart. I wanted to hug him and never let go. I wanted to kiss away the worry lines on his forehead and tell him, until I'm blue in the face, that what he did when he was 16 didn't matter to me and didn't matter to us.

--

"Wake up baby." Harry whispered into my ear before kissing my cheek.

I stretched out my body and smiled at him. "Morning handsome."

He laughed and kissed me again before climbing out of the covers. I looked around the room once more before getting up myself and getting dressed. I pulled my hair into a bun and followed Harry downstairs.

Anne had already made breakfast; pancakes.

"These are my favourite." I complimented her.

"I know love, Harry told me last time he was here." She smiled and put her hand on my arm before sitting down.

The pancakes were perfect, now I knew where Harry got his pancake skills from! They were all gone in no time and me and Harry went upstairs to pack our things.

"I've liked it here." I smiled as Harry zipped up the last bag.

"Good. That's all I can ask for."

He wrapped his arms around me and his body relaxed as he kissed my head.

"Lets go home." He breathed.

He carried the bags downstairs and put them in the boot of his car before coming back inside and saying goodbye.

Anne hugged him tight and made him promise to call her when we got home. Then she hugged me, her smile still as bright as it was 2 days ago.

"It's been wonderful to meet you Mel, take care love."

"It's been good to meet you too." I grinned. "Bye Anne."

Robin hugged me briefly and shook Harrys hand before we headed out to Harrys black audi.

We slammed the doors behind us and Anne and Robin waved us off until we were out of sight. I was so glad they liked me. Now, I had no idea why I was so nervous before. Anne was the mum I never had but always wanted and she was probably the nicest woman I'd ever met, with a smile to make anyone's day that little bit easier!

Harry rested his hand on my thigh as he drove, his eyes narrow and his lips glossy; just like always.

"I heard what you said about me when I was in the bath last night." I said quietly.

He glanced over to me and squeezed my thigh a little tighter.

"What you said about not wanting to lose me... You won't lose me Harry. You know how I know?"

"How?"

"Because I need you as much as you need me." I placed my hand over his and he smiled.

"I should of said them things to your face. I shouldn't of let you over hear them. I should tell you how much you mean to me every single day." He said quietly.

"That goes for me aswell. What I told your mum the other day; I should of told you that, to let you know what you've done for me and how much I appreciate you getting me through."

"Well I guess we'll have to work on it then huh?" He smiled.

((I hit 1000 reads the other day and I'm so grateful for every single one of you that send me positive messages and comments on my chapters and votes for me! I love you all :)<3))