Ma Vie

Chapter 21: Welcome 2014 - Diwata's Year-end Review

WARNING: All written are in pure English except for the Homework. People reading may be at risk for nasal menstruation. If you are not ready to read such, please leave at once. Chosss. <---arte hahaa.

Year 2013.

Well, a lot of things happened. I can't say that the year has been good to me all throughout, but it's the learning experiences that I had as I made every decision and as I chose what path to take that made a greater impact for me this year. Life (this year) had taught me how to be brave, how to face every challenge positively, no matter how rocky the road that I am taking. But even if I've met people and circumstances that are very troublesome, this year's been a turning point of how I discovered my true passion. And for that, I feel blessed. :)

Decemeber 2012

It was my first month in work as an Analyst. Although I wasn't sure if I'm going to enjoy my job, I was thankful to have one. Not everyone has a job, earning, but I have and I was able to support myself independently then.

I celebrated my second-out-of-town born day with my officemate-turned-friend, in their family house in Batangas and I was just glad how they warmly welcomed me. I was treated like family. Last year (2011), I was in Passi, also at my friends', that was the first time I celebrated not with my family and also out of town. I was just glad that my parents allowed me because they're treating me like a child considering that I'm the youngest and an only girl. -__-

Also this month was the month I've discovered Wattpad. Geez, I became too stressed out with work and feeling so bored with it when my officemate-turned-friend recommended it to me. So I posted my poetry. Because I know that's where I'm good at. And I was starting to read English stories and how cool was it to find such nice stories to read for free.

January 2013

This is my third month in my work and apparently, I have no significant things to share. Everyday, I would just go to my work and go straight home. More or less, that's my routine. If my friends would ask my out then, I would gladly oblige but that's quite a few times and it happened during weekends.

February to December 2013 <-- too lazy to write per month XD

I was bored at work. I've done all the tasks assigned to me and for a 7day turnaround time (commonly known as deadline) I still have 3-5days because I've completed my tasks ahead of time. And what did I do? The rest of my office hours would be spent having conversations with my teammates about anything since we have nothing else to do. Sometimes we would play charades, pinoy henyo or anything just to keep us awake and 'productive'.

So one day I wasn't in the mood to mingle with my officemates and I browsed the internet. We were not allowed to open sites but I think we can visit Wattpad discreetly. So I was scrolling the Wattpad site, discovering some forums, discussion groups... when I come across this purely Pinoy group.

I talked with random people. Most of them were a bunch of snobbish brats. But there are a handful of people, especially those that are noobs like me then, willing to talk with you. It's much better to converse with foreign people, I've noticed, because you can talk about random things unlike in Pinoy forums where most people in there would range from teens aged 13-17 maybe... only a few would belong to my category: early twenties.

But these bunches of people taught me that there are Pinoy stories too, which I wasn’t aware of. That's when I started doing my first one shot— turned out to be a short story. It’s written in Taglish. I can say that the whole story became my learning process especially when it comes to my technicalities and how to put emotions and profoundly describe each scene.

I wanted to write in Pure English too but since I know I needed to learn more by reading more and writing more, I opted to focus in honing my Filipino writing skills first. So eventually, my first plan of writing my pure English short story was put on hold until now because of that. But I have no regrets.

As days went by, I have met fascinating people who completely made a huge impact in my 2013. Yeah, these people became my collaborator in my story. From strangers to being your true friends, how can someone get so lucky?

I've resigned from my work, became a bum, was depressed for months, I started hating myself, thought of all the craziest rebellious things I could ever make to show how fed up I was with my life but would end up realizing that even if you stop living your crappy life, all else goes on without you and you're just making an idiot out of your already idiot self. It wouldn't help and only you can save yourself.

So I tried to wake up. Slowly, forgiving myself. Slowly, embracing my fears. Slowly, gathering my thoughts. Slowly, keeping myself sane. Again.

Was it hard?

Very. There’s no easy way in forgiving yourself if you’ve been hating and regretting all your decisions in the past. There’s no easy way to getting freed from your fears if you yourself are afraid to accept your flaws as a human. That you commit a lot of mistakes and you just chose them to break you rather than regard them as your learning experiences. That everything is just a matter of how you think, how you react and how you let the surroundings influence you.

So again, was it hard?

Very. But if you wouldn’t be brave enough for yourself, the entire world’s weight would feel like they’re on your shoulders dragging you down.

I’m really thankful because without them (my newfound true friends), I wouldn’t be able to cope with my personal struggles. They’ve been my soundboard— sort of confidante, at the same time, the people you vent out your deepest thoughts on. I’m not like this. I used to bottle things up and fight things on my own. But I feel like I was freed whenever I’m with them. Through my writings, I was able to escape the world of giving me merciless challenges in real life. I was able to face them fearless, still able to appreciate life’s beauty despite the storm. I was never a cry-baby. Someone you would shamelessly open all your thoughts, your pains and fears. But with them, I wasn’t ashamed to cry if I can’t hold it anymore.

I feel freed. I realized what I really want to be. I want to be a writer. I want to inspire millions of people and make them understand the value of life and the people that spice it up, the significance of having good friends and the worth of family despite their shortcomings. Of how love changes people and make them see that your choices and decisions are the one’s that define the person that you are now. Of making a close to reality feel story, letting them learn things they could apply in their lives as well (hopefully).

I have a lot, a whole lot of things that I want to put in writing and it may not end until I die and I may not be able to inscribe it well yet because I need to learn more. And I am willing to learn more and more each day while doing things I need to do.

I just hope that He’ll let me.

With that said, I put all my faith in Him in welcoming Year 2014.

I know He knows my deepest thoughts, my desires. (:

PS: Sorry sa English, minsan lang ako magtranscribe ng pure English dito kaya padaanin niyo na. Tinamad na din kasi akong magsulat sa isang blog ko kaya kukunin ko na lang ang link nito hahahaha. Happy New Year sa lahat! I bow thank you!

Homework:

1. Ano ang impact ng 2013 sa buhay mo? Naging makabuluhan din ba ito sayo? May mga natutunan ka din ba? Ikwento ang mga pangyayari.

2. May mga tao ka bang nawala (hindi namantay ha -__-) sa taong ito? Kaibigan, kunyari? Eh na-gain? Have you gain friends? <---hindi kinaya ang pure tagalog hahaha.

3. Kung mayroon ka mang pinagsisihan sa taong ito, ano iyon at bakit?

4. Paano mo sinelebrate ang pasko at bagong taon? Ano ang handa niyo? Dali, inggitin ako. XD