wrong boy ➳ hansol/vernon

• sixteen •

"Nari..." Soonyoung begins softly, stepping towards me. I don't step backwards and he's only a few centimetres away from me. "It was nothing, I promise--"

"Don't lie to me, please." I beg quietly. I'm tired of lies - I just want the truth. I want to know what happened that day.

"I-I-" Soonyoung stutters before forcing his mouth shut. He sighs defeatedly and holds his face in his hands, whilst shaking his head back and fourth. "I can't, I'm sorry."

"Don't you think I deserve to know?"

Silence. He nods his head slowly and I sigh.

"Then tell me." I approach him softly, comfortingly running my hand up and down his arm over the fabric of his sleeve.

"Don't," he mumbles, gently shrugging me away. "I don't deserve your kindness."

"Soonyoung." I frown.

"Please - please don't make me explain. Not today. I will - just not now, I need time."

"If not now, then when?" I ask carefully.

"When we're home." He answers almost instantaneously, visibly flinching alongside me when the word 'home' rolls off his tongue. It doesn't sound right and it certainly doesn't feel right.

"Wow, it's perfect." I say in awe as my eyes wander the apartment.

It has its imperfections; the little cracks on wall near the ceiling, the tear in the wallpaper next to the door, the occasional crumble of the paint in the bathroom - but, then again, don't we all?

Soonyoung looks at me knowingly, his little grin showing effortlessly. He wraps his arm around my waist, looks around one last time before announcing: "we'll take it".

"When were home." I repeat, just to confirm his words. After standing still and silent for a few moments, we agree to head back into the living area.

Hansol glances at me as I walk towards him, a look on his face as if to say: 'you okay?', which I nod honestly in response to. Frustrated, yes. Upset, no.

Soonyoung obviously needs time, I know that now. Whatever it is he needs to tell me, he's going to announce when he's ready to. Surely it can't be that bad...

The hours roll by painfully slow until it's time to sleep. Luckily we leave in the morning; there's so much tension after Hansol and I left for the night. I'm barely speaking to Soonyoung and I can tell there's something going on between all the boys. I just want to go home. 

Home. 

Is that apartment even my home anymore? I don't remember it, I don't remember the person I'm living in it with, so is it? I begin to doubt so. 

"Are you still sure about the sleeping arrangements?" Soonyoung asks me sheepishly, his fingers grasping one another nervously. 

I nod, only because saying no would only heighten the awkwardness. 

We climb into bed, Soonyoung rotating so that our bodies are next to each other but head-to-toe. He reaches over to the bedside lamp and suddenly darkness overcomes us. 

"Soonyoung." I whisper into the blackness. 

After a few moments he whispers back a soft: 'yeah?'. I smile although he can't see me.

"Goodnight."