Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

two

It had been three weeks after the argument that led to Austin sleeping on the couch for nearly a week and things were getting progressively worse. The couple argued more than they usually did, leaving either Austin or Alan in tears as one of them stormed away either to the bedroom or out the door. They both knew it wasn't healthy, but with Austin still not coming home until later at night, it was making Alan more and more angry.

"I just understand why you can't demand that you get to leave like everyone else! You've said so yourself, you're like the second boss!" Alan shouted, he and Austin fighting about the same topic like always.

"Because I just can't, Alan. The business is getting ready to set a deal and because of that, I'm going to be working late. I'm sorry that that interferes with our plans, but it's just the way it is," Austin snapped.

Alan sighed in frustration and anger as he shook his head. He wanted to scream at the man, to just make him choose between work or him, but that wasn't the right thing to do. Austin loved his job, but he loved Alan way more, but at the moment, it seemed like the brunette loved his job more than he did his boyfriend and that's what made the ginger upset, that's what made him get angry, and that's what made him want to force Austin to choose, but he just couldn't.

"It just makes me wonder if you still care about me," Alan mumbled, glaring down at the floor, "if you still love me, if you still want to be with me."

"What are you talking about? Of course I love you, I care about you and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else in this entire world," Austin said, sounding offended that the ginger would say, let alone think, these kinds of things.

"It doesn't seem that way. It seems like you're working later on purpose because you don't want to come home to me, because lately all we've done is fight," Alan said.

Austin didn't say anything, really because it was partially true. He was choosing to overstay at work because he knew that when he walked in through the front door, he and Alan would begin to fight about something; mainly work. He hated it so much and it was beginning to take a toll on him, but he loved Alan so much and he wanted to make things right, but what was there to do?

The gingers eyes filled with tears as he looked up at his boyfriend who had a look of apology and regret.

"So it's true," Alan said.

"Only a little bit, I promise. Work really is making me stay, and maybe I'd stay just a little bit later because all we've done is fight, but I've also been trying to think of just something- anything to get us back to just being us without all the stupid fights every night I walk through the door," Austin tried to explain.

"How about trying to talk with me, huh?!" Alan snapped.

"We can never do that! It always ends up with you getting angry and upset and you screaming at me for things that I can't control!"

"Oh it sure as hell seems like you can control it! You've been purposely staying later than you have to because you don't want to be around me or anywhere near me!"

"Because you're pissed about me having to actually work!"

"No, because you don't understand just how badly you not spending any time with me these past few weeks has been on me! You don't understand how fucking hard and badly it sucks falling asleep at night whenever you know that a damn whore is in the same building and office area as your boyfriend and that maybe after a bad fight, she'll somehow pursue him into getting into bed with her! You just don't get it, you think you do, but you don't, Austin. You think that I'm overreacting and that I'm taking things out of hand, but I'm really not, because just for once, I'd like for my boyfriend to come home early and actually be happy to see me, not having to dread it," by the time Alan was done, there were tears streaming down his cheeks and Austin swore he felt his heartbreak.

"I wouldn't cheat on you, Alan. Sure, Suzanne is a nice woman, but I wouldn't dream of being with a woman, or another guy for that matter, and I hate that you think that if we were to have a huge blowout, that I'd run off to find someone to sleep with," Austin said.

"You don't know that," the ginger whispered softly.

"Do you really think that lowly of me?" Austin demanded to know. Sure, he had fooled around a lot when he was in college, but having met Alan changed him and he put everything he did behind him.

"No, not exactly, but I just feel like..." Alan trailed off, shaking his head. He missed the simpler times so much.

Austin scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I used to sleep around, I used to cheat, yes, but meeting you, Alan, changed everything, and you know this! But here you are, believing that I'd go and sleep with some woman or another guy, but I never would! Not in a million years! God, I...I thought you were different, I thought you were one of those people who didn't think of me like that."

"I can't help that I think that," Alan told him. "You'd be the same way, a little wary about things if I had the same past like you."

"So you don't trust me?"

"I never said that."

"You don't have to, I can already tell," Austin muttered.

"I trust you, I just don't trust the way you'd think if something bad were to happen between us," Alan said.

Austin laughed bitterly, shaking his head once again. He saw where they stood, it breaking his heart, but he knew that things couldn't continue on the way they were heading.

"I think that maybe we should just... just end things here, Alan, because if all we do is argue and you don't trust me, then things aren't going to work out anymore," Austin said, though he wasn't too sure if that's what he wanted for sure, but the words were already out there and the look of heartbreak and anger passed over Alan, breaking his heart too.

"Fine, if that's what you want then. If you don't believe me, then do be it," Alan muttered, pushing himself past his now ex boyfriend and to their bedroom, stuffing his clothes and the little things be did have into a suitcase and duffle bag.

Austin stayed stood in the kitchen, staring out the doorway and wondering if he really did regret his decision or not. It seemed it was for the best.

Alan didn't know whether to be angry or sad as he zipped the last of his things and grabbed the bags, lugging them out the door. He didn't bother speaking to the brunette as be walked out the front door and to his car, driving off somewhere and far away.

。。。

yes things are kind of moving really fast and I know it's only the second chapter, but it's gonna work out s huh trust me