Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

thirteen

Things were awkward and tense between Justin and Austin after their phone call, to say the least. Austin wasn't sure how much longer he could take the silence between them, because it was driving him mad. He would come over to Justin's apartment sometimes after work and all Justin would do was say a hello before heading off to bed, maybe give him a kiss on the cheek.

Austin didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say or to think to fix any of this. The guilt was very much eating him alive at this point and it was taking everything in him to not spill out that he was lying, that there was someone else, that he had feelings for that someone, and that that "someone" was in fact Austin's ex boyfriend who broke his heart a year ago and was haunting his every thought and dream non-stop.

"Are you not going to say anything to me?" Austin asked. He was at Justin's, sitting across from him at the small dining table that had chips of wood missing from the top, but it was an old gift from Justin's great uncle.

"There's nothing to really say," Justin said, picking at his dinner that was slowly growing cold.

"There is, you're just choosing to not say it. You've barely looked or spoke to me for the past week," Austin said, and he knew it was wrong for him to be growing irritated when he was lying and hiding things.

Justin sighed, dropping his fork down to his plate, leaving Austin to flinch at the loud clatter it made. Justin didn't say anything for a few minutes, only stared at the brunette, and honestly, Austin was growing a little scared.

"I just... I just feel like after our talk, that I'm weighing you down. I feel like you're running away from me to hang out with your friend because you're growing... tired. I guess I'm just giving you space and allowing you to finally leave if you want to," Justin said, his voice faltering slightly. Austin knew how much Justin liked him, how much he cared and how much he adored him. Justin had told him so a few days later after they had gone out together after the break up.

"You're not weighing me down," Austin mumbled quietly. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know Justin felt like this, and Austin knew he was to blame. He hardly ever saw Justin ever since the brunette got the phone call about Alan. They didn't do as much as they used to, and Austin was to blame. He was so caught up in Alan, making sure that he was okay and taken care of and comfortable that Austin completely forgot about Justin and his feelings and his wellbeing; everything, and it was wrong.

"Are you sure about that? Because it seems that way as of recently," Justin said, sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms. He had lost his appetite and the thought of eating made him sick.

"I'm positive. You've never weighed me down and I'm not gonna run out on you," Austin told him. Sure, it seemed like it would be the easier option to just tell Justin that it was over- nicely, of course- and be with Alan since the feelings for the ginger still remained, but Austin had feelings for Justin too. It was so complicated yet the solution was so easy.

Justin bit down on his lip as his eyes began to fill with tears. Austin felt his heart break slightly as he pushed himself up from his chair and hugged his boyfriend tightly in his arms, pressing kisses to the top of his head. It all hurt, seeing Justin like this and then thinking about Alan.

"I'm sorry, Just. I'll- I'll try and spend more time with you, I'll stop spending so much time with my friends and be with you, I promise, okay?" Austin said, though he knew that spending less time with his "friends" was going to be a lie. He tried to tell himself to tone it down with spending so much time with Alan before, but it didn't work out so well since he was craving Alan's touch after just two days.

"No. No, don't do that. I want you to spend time with your friends and with yourself," Justin said, pulling away and shaking his head. "I-I'm not asking to just spend your entire days and nights and weekends with me, I'm just... I don't know. I just miss spending a little time with you is all, I still want you to have your time and your friend's time."

Justin was too understanding and too great for Austin. It was obvious that Justin deserved way better than the brunette.

Austin didn't say anything, only pressed another kiss to the top of Justin's head before standing up and finishing up his dinner.

。。。

The brunette promised himself he was going to try and tone things down once again, that he was going to try and spend a little more time with Justin to keep him from continuing to be suspicious, but that was broken when Austin got a text message from Alan, asking for the brunette to come over because he wasn't feeling well at all, and all it took was for Austin to read that the ginger wasn't feeling well for him to throw on some clothes and shoes, grab his car keys and head out the door, driving rather quickly to Alan's apartment.

When Austin arrived and let himself in, he cooed at the sight of Alan curled up on the couch under many fluffy blankets, his ginger hair poking out.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Austin asked, walking towards the couch after kicking his shoes off.

"My stomach hurts," Alan whined softly, burying his face into the pillow his head rested on. It was soft and fluffy and very warm; almost like a cloud.

Austin frowned and knelt down on the floor next to the ginger whose face was paler than usual and his cheeks having a very slight flush. The brunette reached forward and gently placed his hand on Alan's stomach, rubbing in small, gentle circles.

"How long has your stomach been hurting?" Austin asked.

"Since this morning," Alan said quietly.

The brunette hummed, his hand still moving in small circles. He remembered when he and Alan first began to date, they were planning to go out to eat and spend some time together, but Alan came down with a stomach flu. Alan had taken the brunettes hand and made him run circles into his stomach, claiming it helped, and ever since then whenever Alan got sick, Austin would rub his stomach. It was purely adorable.

"Have you tried eating anything?" Austin asked, his hand not ceasing. He didn't like seeing Alan like this, he loved seeing him all happy and energetic, even if he didn't have his memory.

"Yeah, but I threw it up a few minutes later," Alan mumbled. He just wanted to sleep and cuddle with Austin, but he couldn't with the constant feeling of the ache in his belly.

"How about you take a nap, and when you wake up and maybe feeling a little bit better, I'll make you some soup," Austin said, standing up and sitting on the couch. Alan let out a little grunt as he laid his head down on the brunettes lap, not really wanting to fall asleep, but soon his eyelids were drooping and Austin's hand that was began once again slowly moved around on his tummy, lulling him to sleep. Austin smiled and ran his fingers through Alan's hair, feeling a nostalgia creep up his spine. He sometimes wished things were still this way.

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not the best of chapters but oh well. I have a bandaid on my thumb and it's really hard to type :)