Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

nine

Alan stirred around beneath the covers, slowly waking up from his slumber and frowning as he realized that he and Menchi were the only two in the room. Maybe Austin was in the kitchen or living room, or maybe the bathroom, Alan didn't know. He sighed softly and sat up, rubbing at his eyes.

He felt so exhausted, and almost contemplated going back to sleep, but the gingers stomach grumbled loudly, telling him that food was more important than sleep at the moment.

Alan slowly got out of bed, his limbs aching slightly. He guessed because being cooped up in the hospital, being poked and prodded every few hours along with the apparent car accident he had which caused his memory loss, would cause his body to ache.

It sucked, honestly, not being able to remember things. He wished he knew what his life was like before the accident, if things were how they were now; calm. He doubted it, though, because anything was possible.

Alan reached the kitchen and frowned again, noticing that the brunette wasn't anywhere to be seen. He wasn't in the living room since the ginger had already passed through there, and he didn't see the light on in the bathroom. Alan began to panic slightly.

Where would Austin go? Did he just get up and leave? What if everything was just a dream?

Before he could work himself up over nothing, Alan noticed a piece of paper on the refrigerator, something that definitely wasn't there last night. He carefully took it, sighing in relief as he read it over.

Alan-
I have to go to work early this morning and I woke be back until later this evening. I might be able to get a lunch break long enough to come back and see you, but I'm not so sure yet.
I'll see you later you :) -Austin

It wasn't much, but it surely was something and it calmed Alan's nerves instantly. He simply placed the note somewhere on the countertop and searched through the cabinets for something to eat; gladly coming across several boxes of cereals. He grabbed one along with a bowl and made himself a bowl of cereal before heading into the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

It was so quite in the rather small apartment. He could very faintly here murmuring from people in the hallway along with a few cars passing by the complex. It seemed so peaceful and lonely at the same time.

Menchi came running down the hallway, her collar making noises as she did so. The ginger wondered about his now past life before the accident, how things were. He wanted to know really how long he and Austin had been together, their life before. It was something he couldn't stop thinking about and was restless to know about, but he knew that he wasn't going to be able to remember instantly and that it would time some time- months, years- before his memory came back completely.

Until then, Alan was stuck wondering and asking questions.

。。。

It was almost noon and the ginger found himself sat criss cross on the floor, several scrapbooks sat around him and currently flipping through one of him and his family when he around twelve years old. Alan remembered very small bits and pieces of the events that happened in some of the pictures. He'd lost quite a lot of his memory, as the doctors had learned.

Alan flipped and snorted at the profit pictures of himself. He couldn't believe he went two years- from what he had gained from the dates on the pictures- with his hair spiked up and a shell necklace on.

Eventually Alan went through the one with his parents and himself before moving on to the one that he realized were pictures of him and Austin while they were dating. He remembered some of the dates they went on, the cute things Austin would do for him and how simple times seemed to be back then.

Alan frowned, flipping through a page filled with pictures of them that were dated nearly a year ago.

He and Austin had been dating for a lot longer than he had thought, apparently, or what he was stuck with. The pictures didn't carry on for any longer. Why weren't there anymore recent ones- ones dated before the accident?

The ginger shrugged, closing the scrapbook and placing it with the others. He didn't dwell too much on the thought, because he knew there would be many simple reasons as to why and he wasn't going to worry about it.

。。。

Austin was sat, staring at the wall across from his desk. He was supposed to be working and finishing off a pitch that was due to his boss in a few days, but his was focused on other things; Alan, mainly.

The brunette couldn't help but feel so guilty about all of this. He knew he should come clean and either tell Alan the real truth about what happened and how they weren't really together anymore, or tell Justin that they couldn't be together anymore.

But he cared for Justin, because he was there to somewhat cheer the brunette up after the break up, making him smile and laugh again.

Alan, though, that was the brunettes ex boyfriend, the one who was really there for Austin during the last year of his college days, the one who made Austin change his ways and become a different person. He made Austin who he was today, and really, the Bruce regretted deeply how he acted towards the end of their relationship. He regretted not trying harder and fixing things, because if he had, he wouldn't be feeling so guilty about lying where he was or what he was doing, Alan wouldn't be hurt and their lives would be so different.

Maybe Austin would have asked Alan to marry him. Maybe they would be trying to start a family together, but no, Austin had to be blind and an idiot and hurt the one thing he cared more about in the world.

And he regretted deeply.

But he had Justin...and Alan now, and it was like some kind of ongoing battle within the brunette. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he couldn't just let this continue on. He knew that one way or another, Justin and Alan would find out and they'd both be so hurt and angry because Austin was technically cheating, though he and Alan hadn't done anything other than cuddle and have a few kisses on the cheek and forehead, it was still cheating and Austin had completely grown and changed out of that when he and Alan were together.

There was a knock on the door, pulling Austin from his brooding thoughts as he mumbled for whoever to come in.

"Hey babe, I was wondering if you wanted to go get some lunch?" It was Justin, the brunette should have known.

"I..." Austin didn't know what to do. He knew Justin deserved some time with him, seeing as he spent nearly the past two days with Alan- though of course Justin didn't know- and was probable growing curious and maybe scared, but Austin wanted to see Alan, to make sure he was okay since the ginger didn't have a phone and he couldn't check up on him.

"Um, yeah, sure... just let me finish this up real quick."

。。。

this chapter suucks