Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

twenty-five

"What the fuck?!" A voice screamed before there was a loud thump and the nice, warm bedsheets that kept Austin warm were pulled away and he was now left with the cold air hitting against his body, sending chills across his skin. He didn't know what was happening or what time it was as he opened his eyes and looked around the room.

"What the hell Austin!" It was Alan. He was stood at the side of the bed, the sheets wrapped around his body tightly as an angry looked passed over his features.

"What's wrong?" Austin asked, quite confused as he sat up. What was happening?

"What do you mean what's wrong?! We slept together!" Alan snapped and Austin sat there confused, not understanding what was happening. All of it was consensual, and Alan was wanting this to happen just as much as Austin was, so why was Alan freaking out?

"I don't... I don't understand what the big deal is?" Austin said, shaking his head. He must have looked pretty stupid with his mouth hanging open slightly and his head cocked to the side.

But then something clicked inside the brunettes mind, something that he never thought would happen- well, he did think it would happen, but just not this soon, and that thing was that Alan had gotten some of his memory back, more specifically a part where he and Austin were broken up.

"The big deal is that we slept together and you've been lying to me!" Alan screamed, his face turning a slight shade of red, and it was from blushing. He was furious, to say the least. His supposed ex boyfriend had been lying to him for months now about them being together.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"I don't want to fucking hear it! I want you out of my apartment, now!" Alan screamed, cutting the brunette off.

Austin felt his heart drop into his stomach and crumple into millions of pieces. He was really hoping this was some sort of nightmare. For once, he really wished he would just wake up and this all be fake, or that Alan was just kidding around, but Austin had been around the ginger long enough to know when he was dead serious, and this was one of those moments.

"Please just, let-let me explain, or something," Austin begged, standing from the bed and pulling his clothes on.

"There's nothing to explain! I want you out of here!" Alan demanded, his voice growing louder and louder. Austin bit down on his bottom, pulling his shirt over his head and slipping his shoes on.

"Please," Austin begged, his clothes now on and a look of desperation on his face, but Alan wasn't having any of it. He was beyond furious.

"I don't want to hear it! Get out! Get out!" Alan screamed, grabbing something, anything, from on top of the bedside table and throwing it, it missing the brunette and smashing into the wall before falling to the floor in pieces.

Austin's heart broke completely and he felt like it was being ripped out of his chest as he reluctantly nodded and headed from the bedroom, grabbing his keys and phone. Silently he left the apartment, tears filling his eyes as he made his way out of the building.

。。。

It had been hours. Austin was sitting on the kitchen floor in his house, an expensive bottle of wine in his hand and his mind hazy and foggy as he drank away his sorrows. He felt numb and he felt like breaking down and crying, which he had done right after he got home.

He had gone and really messed up this time, and he really hated himself for it.

Austin knew he didn't deserve to cry. He didn't deserve to be upset or angry. All he deserved was what was coming to him since he had been an awful person for months. He didn't deserve Justin and he didn't deserve Alan. All he deserved in life was to be miserable and be sad for the rest of his life, and the bottle of wine he was quickly downing was helping. He deserved this.

The brunette didn't know what time it was, but he knew he had been sat on the floor for many hours, drinking as much as he possibly could. It didn't start off like this at first, no, at first he was sat, knees clutched to his chest and he was sobbing like some sort of baby because he realized that he screwed his possibly only chance left with Alan, but then the crying turned into anger and the anger turned into the need for a drink, and so now Austin sat, drinking expensive wine that he had no real need for, but it was good enough to help push away the burdening thoughts.

Sometimes Austin felt like giving up. For the longest time things hadn't been going right. He screwed up during high school with the constant partying and hooking up, somehow managing to pass, then doing the same in college, only this time, it wasn't as bad, but Austin was still hooking up and drinking and doing whatever he could to possibly have a good time. Then he met Alan and for once, somehow, things started to turn out okay, only for it to turn back around and be bad again.

Austin didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to feel, and he certainly didn't know how to cope with all this... bullshit. He felt like he was constantly running around in circles, and he hated it. He was tempted to just cut all things from his life, to live a single man forever, but then he thought about Alan and how miserable he would be, because, honestly, he didn't want to live in a world without the ginger. He loved him too much for that. It was like Austin couldn't physically be happy without the ginger, and he didn't want to be. Austin didn't want anyone else in his life. He wanted Alan and Alan only and he'd be damned if he just let him go so easily. He'd done it once and he wasn't about to do it again.

The brunette downed another gulp of the wine, his head swaying side to side slightly. The floor was uncomfortable but Austin didn't have it in him to get up and move about from it.

"Disgusting," Austin muttered, touching the bottle to his lips and downing a huge sip. He was far too drunk to even lift his head back, but he managed as he hummed a random tune in his head.

He was going to regret this in the morning, but he didn't care. He didn't see why he should anymore.

。。。

whoa 2k reads, that's totally awesome! :)