Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

nineteen

Austin felt sick to his stomach and he could name off so many reasons why. One being that he now, for sure, was cheating, and two being because Alan kissed him and he kissed back and liked it. God, Austin was so stupid. He knew he should have pushed Alan away, or at least just came clean about the truth that night after he left Alan's apartment and went over to Justin's. He should have came clean about the fact that he was seeing his ex boyfriend and caring for him and sometimes wishing that they were together in some different way.

The brunette didn't know if he regretted it or not, because Alan's lips were... perfect and soft and Austin loved kissing them, but he was cheating. He told himself he'd try and hold out from just pinning the ginger against the wall and kissing him like his life depended on it for as long as he could withhold it, but then Alan just went ahead and did it; kissed him. It was difficult to pull away, so Austin didn't. He gave into himself and allowed himself to kiss back, which was now added to the list of things to be guilty for.

"So stupid," Austin muttered to himself. He was at a diner for his lunchbreak, deciding that being cooped up in that stupid building where Justin was, was not a good idea, and Austin needed some air and alone time to allow himself to think, which he had being doing non-stop since the day he and Alan kissed- that being three days ago.

"What's got you so troubled, sugar?" A waitress who was older than the brunette asked as she refilled his cup with more coffee. Her hair was a dirty blonde and it was pulled up, her lipstick was slightly smeared and a slight smile on her face.

"Just a love life getting all mixed up," Austin said shortly as he took a sip of his coffee. He didn't feel like spilling his heart and soul out to this woman, though he knew that doing so would make him feel a little better.

"Ah, love," the woman said, chuckling. "It's a wonderful and horrible thing at the same time." Austin hummed in agreement.

"So what's got you so shaken up, kid?" The woman asked, taking a seat across from the brunette, who stared at her, eyebrows raised slightly.

"Shouldn't you be working and attending to customers?" Austin asked her.

"I'm on lunch break. Now, talk, you seem like you could use a some words of wisdom, especially from an old timer like me," she said, causing the brunette to snicker and shake his head.

"Why would I tell my problems to a woman who I barely know?" Austin asked, watching the lady's eyes narrow slightly.

"My name is Linda, I've been working at this diner since the seventies and don't plan on leaving it any time soon. I've got two deadbeat kids, who would much rather sit around being lazy and doing things that will get them into trouble rather than doing something productive, but I gotta love them. I've had more husbands and hook ups than a toddler can count and I think I know a thing or two that can help you get out of this little... bump you've ran into. Now, shall I ask once more, because my patience and kindness is beginning to wear thin," the lady, Linda, said, and Austin stared at her, a little surprised, before sighing.

"Alright, fine, there's two guys that I both have... feelings for, and I can't seem to decide what I want to do, but I know that I have to make a decision soon, because if I don't, all of this will blow up in my face and I'll end up losing them both if I'm not careful," Austin told her. He didn't know whether or not Alan or Justin knew who this woman was, so he left out their names, though neither of them have introduced nor mentioned this woman.

"Why not just break up with one and be with the other?" Linda questioned, making it sound so easy, much like Michael had, but it was easier said than done.

"Then I'll feel guilty for picking one, or I'll choose the wrong one to be with," Austin said, though he seemed pretty set on being with Alan...but Justin.

"Listen, kid, you have to make tough decisions one way or another and at some point in your life, and if you clearly, one-hundred percent like one of these fellas more than the other, don't you think the choice is very obvious?"

"Yes, it's obvious, I know this, but choosing one still leaves guilt and..." Austin trailed off, shaking his head.

"Who do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with?" Linda asked, and Austin instantly thought of Alan without any hesitation and then immediately regretted it as he thought about Justin. God, why did it have to be like this?

The brunette suddenly cleared his throat, pulling himself from his thoughts as he looked at his watch and realized it was time for him to head back to the office, which he was thankful for because he didn't want to continue on this conversation anymore.

"It was nice talking to you, but I have to get back to work," Austin said, finishing the last of his coffee before standing. Linda just smirked at him, not saying a thing as he watched him grab his coat and mutter a goodbye before he was heading out the door.

That was weird, honestly. The brunette was never one to open up go anyone he never met or heard of, but that woman- Linda- seemed kind of easy to talk to, and Austin guessed because she was older she might have knew a thing or two, and she did, sort of. It left Austin to think- because that's all he ever did nowadays- and dig a little deeper into his thoughts.

Alan.

That's all he could really think about.

And he guessed his next move was a stupid one as he called into work, requesting the rest of the day off as he claimed he had family business to attend to, which was lie- but Austin was lying about all sorts of things, so what was another one to hurt?-, though he didn't really care at this point as he made his way to his car and got in, one, single destination in mind: Alan's apartment.

Quickly did the brunette arrive and quickly did he climb the few flights of states to the floor where the ginger lived on. Austin didn't know what he was thinking, but he was craving. He wanted Alan. He wanted the ginger in his arms and their lips to be pressed together. Austin didn't care how, he just wanted Alan.

He pushed open the front door after unlocking it and stepped inside, pushing it shut with his foot as he made his way over to the couch where the ginger himself was sat.

"Oh, hey, Aust. I thought you got off work later?" Alan asked, confused and surprised, but happy nonetheless.

But Austin never answered, his mind was set on one thing and one thing only. He swooped down to the couch, deciding that the space between them was too much, and pressed their lips together. Fireworks went off behind the brunettes eyes and the ginger made a noise of surprise, but he kissed back anyways, because he was craving this too, even after several days.

Neither of them spoke, only continued to kiss, and Austin could feel himself growing satisfied. This was what he wanted, he needed, and was slowly deciding- even if he didn't know it just yet- that it was Alan he wanted.