Just Can't Be Forgotten - [boyxboy]

eight

The brunette lied awake, staring up at the ceiling as Alan slept peacefully away curled up beside him. Austin couldn't stop thinking, he couldn't stop feeling guilty, but he couldn't just leave Alan to be on his own, because if he did, he'd feel even more guilty.

It was wrong for him to be in a relationship and liking someone else, he knew this, he'd been in this position many times before when he was in college and sleeping around, and Alan was the one to change that all, but now, because Alan didn't have his memory and Austin was caring for him, it was like he was falling back into his old self- catching feelings for another person that wasn't his boyfriend.

If Justin were to find out, he'd he so angry and upset, but Austin didn't want to let him go either. He cared for Justin and really liked him, but he was still in love with Alan and he wasn't good with big decisions like this so he knew that he'd just let it drone on for a while.

He had to choose at some point, and because of that thought, it made him feel even more guilty because neither of the boys were toys to choose between. He couldn't just choose one and get bored and go back to the other. It didn't work like that, it never would.

Justin only knew pieces of Austin's past. He didn't know that the brunette used to sleep around, cheat and use people. It was like, in a way, that Justin didn't deserve to know that, because it was like that Alan was only special enough to know the bad past Austin had, but the brunette knew that Justin would probably judge him and be wary if he knew that, like Alan was at the end.

But Alan was someone who actually knew him, though, at this point, Austin wasn't too sure of how much the ginger did know considering his memory was gone.

What did Alan know? Obviously he doesn't remember the last month or so of their relationship when they got into a big fight, which the brunette guessed was a good thing. Maybe he was stuck with when they first got together or a couple of months into their relationship. Austin made a mental note to ask him that later.

Alan made a little noise as he shifted around, pulling Austin from his thoughts. Austin felt terrible. He knew that none of this would probably have never happened if he hadn't acted the way he had, causing the two of them to break up. In a way, he felt responsible for the reason Alan got in a car accident, though it was clear from the report the police had told him a few days ago that the driver that had hit Alan claimed they were in a rush, which didn't seem like a good excuse at all, but they were paying for all the hospital bills which definitely seemed like the right thing.

Sighing softly, the brunette grabbed his phone, seeing that it was two in the morning and there was no way he was getting any sleep any time soon. There was a reply from Justin, saying goodnight since Austin had texted him and told him that he was staying at his friends house to make sure things were okay.

Justin was unlike any boyfriend the brunette had ever had. He was clingy and wanting to know where Austin was all the time. It was kind of cute, but also very annoying which resulted in the brunette just lying sometimes to make Justin relax. It sounded harsh, but he just wanted him to relax instead of worry all the time.

Alan made another noise and rolled away from the brunette, curling up into a small ball on the other side of the bed. Austin wondered what he was dreaming about, if he were able to dream about the things that happened before the accident.

With another sigh, Austin silently got out of bed and left for the kitchen, deciding that laying there and thinking non-stop and feeling guilty wasn't going to help anything, and instead, got some water. Menchi came running in, her collar jingling as she meowed softly and stared up at the brunette, obviously wanting attention.

Austin chuckled and sat on the kitchen floor, smiling at Menchi hurried over to him and began to rub her head all over his chest, purring softly. The brunette remembered how Alan always talked about wanting a cat, but the house they were staying in wouldn't allow them to have pets unless it was a dumb goldfish, which of course made the ginger sad. He loved animals so much, more than Austin could understand. It was one of the many things that Austin loved about the ginger and he could spend a decade talking about it.

Again, Austin felt guilty. Here he was, sitting on the kitchen floor in his ex boyfriends apartment, thinking about how much he loved him rather than thinking about his current boyfriend who was probably fast asleep, not thinking about anything going on with the brunette and possibly missing him more than words could describe.

Before he could dwell too much on it, he jumped when he saw Alan stood in the doorway of the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and frowning as he looked around, grinning some as he saw the brunette sat on the floor, cat curled up in his lap.

"What are you doing up?" Austin asked.

"You weren't in bed, I got lonely," Alan mumbled sleepily. He looked absolutely adorable- piling onto the guilt Austin felt- with his hair poking up in every direction possible, his clothes wrinkled and somehow a part of his shirt got tucked into the waistband of his boxers.

Austin laughed and shook his head, gathering Menchi in his arms before standing up. He wasn't much of a cat person, but the gray cat was adorable and warm and he enjoyed her company.

The brunette and ginger headed back to bed, Menchi curled up against Austin's back as Alan buried himself against the brunettes chest. Austin felt his heart swell as he pulled the ginger closer. He had missed this so much, and that only added to the guilt he couldn't seem to shake off.

。。。

sorry for not updating, but there's not enough pre written chapters and I've just been drowning in school work and being sick and stuff like that

also I know the build-up is taking forever and things are a little boring and keep talking about the same things over and over, but just be patient. Drama will come eventually

And this story has over 400 reads and that's just amazing, so thank you :)