Basically, Me. [Mid 2016 - Early 2017]

Another Update

Hiiii again.

I'm really bored right now and I'm thinking about a lot of things so woooooop wooooop here we go !!

I'm listening to Jin's Awake and it's making me all teary-eyed JIN WHY DOES YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE MAKE ME DEPRESSED

As I said before, I'm thinking about a lot of things, and one of the things that came up is my future.

So right now, I'm unsure about it. From the age of five I've always wanted to be a pediatrician but that's it. I'm worried about a backup plan. What if it doesn't work out? Since the career project I've grown to be very aware of these things. It's eleven years of schooling and training. Also getting into a college will be difficult...

And right now I make good grades and I guess I'm on the "smarter" half of our grade (not as much as these two kids who are schoolaholics though), but I'm always worried that I won't be able to keep it up.

Anyways, right now my parents are out with their friends and they have been for like the past 4-5 hours...?

But that's okay, because now they don't have to bother me. I like sitting in my room sometimes and being alone and listening to music on a really high volume.

#YourPatheticTeenageGirl

Right now I want to be on vacation. I really want to travel. But for some reason, I don't want to go with my family. I just want to go really far away with friends I enjoy being with.

At my school they have this thing called Student Shoulder-To-Shoulder and basically once I get a bit older I'll be able to apply to go on trips during the summer and volunteer there for people in poverty, helping build buildings for people, etc. I would really want to go on one but I'm pretty sure it would cost a lot, so I probably wouldn't be able to go. :(

It's okay though. It's the same with Washington DC. We have the opportunity to go there this year with our grade but it costs too much so I can't go.

I guess we can save the money for more important things.

I'm really sorry to whoever is reading this because literally this chapter is a really pointless thing about my life at the moment haha

Also lately, I've been struggling with having a lot of confidence in myself. It's mostly stuff like "you're not beautiful enough" and all that crap but I'll get over it. I mean, a lot of people go through it so it's okay.

I'm just glad that I have a lot of good friends :)

Sometimes I like to take off my glasses and look at the world with blurry vision. It's tiring to see 20/20 all the time to be honest 😂

So recently some more people in our school have discovered Wattpad and I can see my friends changing everything and deleting random fanfics and stuff in case they're seen and exposed or whatever. It's funny because that's what I did. To be honest I'm happy about what I'm writing but once someone I know sees it I'm like nOPE

When my friend showed this guy like the first two chapters of this weird book and they were talking to me about it, I think I was trying to play it cool but inside I was freaking out like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA inside my head because that was kinda embarrassing for me but he said he found some of the chapters funny and I was like "OKAY IM NOT SURE IF I MEANT THEM TO BE FUNNY OR NOT BUT YEAH THEY WERE FUNNY HA H A YEAH I AGREE" but not to his face ofc

I finished Degrassi: Next Class season three in less than 24 hours. Is that bad?

Honestly Degrassi is such a messed-up, crazy show but I love it so much rip

Aah Spotify is my savior right now. If you want to follow me on Spotify it's @/ashchelms and if I know you I'll add you back yayyyyy!

I feel like in school I've been really awkward around anyone who isn't in my friend circle.

HAHAHAH WHO AM I KIDDING IM AWKWARD 24/7

No but really I was talking to someone and they kept talking to me and making different conversations and I literally replied with the same three things:
• Haha
• Yeah
• Oh that sucks

:)))

I'm a social butterfly !!

oh and then after their attempts at making a conversation I just left them and went back to my seat

YEAH !!!

Yasssssss Melanie Martinez just came on Spotify bless up!!

This would be a great place to end this chapter. BYE!!