The Cabin •Jc Caylen•

26. "That's a Fact"

I spent half of the day throwing up with Kian. I don't regret some of the things I did last night but it's something I don't really want to do again. We tried eating a few small things but we ended up throwing up again. It wasn't until five in the afternoon that there was a small knock.

There were three people left in this cabin and I don't want to see any of them.

"Come in!" Kian groaned.

I wiped my mouth and closed my eyes while I rested my head on the wall. My torso hurts from all the force of throwing up. I opened my eyes barley wide enough to see Jc walk in with his hands in his pockets.

"Did you come to fucking yell at me some more?"

"No but I should" Jc huffed as he looked down at Kian, "I actually came to bring you guys a beer, it helps with the hangover" he handed one to Kian and then one to me but I didn't even look at him, I didn't want anything he had to offer.

"Bailey it'll help" he said as he put it down on the floor and pushed it towards me.

I still didn't take it and kept my eyes on my bare feet.

Jc let out a small huff, "I'll be in my room if you two need anything" he walked out of the room and closed the door.

"Bails, take it. You'll feel a little better"

I grabbed the can and opened it. Just the smell of it makes me want to throw up food and liquids I don't even have in my stomach. I put my lips against the cool can and tilted my head back letting the liquid go down my throat. After a few sips I put the can down and wiped my mouth.

"He's sad and miserable" Kian said as he set his beer can aside.

"And I have a killer headache and my eyes burn, but that's life" I groaned as I rested my head on the wall behind me.

"He's a good guy he was just hurt and-"

I didn't want to hear any of this I already have enough problems as it is, "what makes him a 'good' guy? The fact that he slept with my best friend or that he lied to me? And he's hurt because I hurt him but he decided to get back at me by hurting me"  he looked at me a bit confused but shook it off.

"If we're really bringing up facts, technically you two weren't even a thing, and technically you never told him you liked him"

"I thought we've been down this road a thousand times Kian, if I admitted my feelings then I would be the one to get in trouble and ruin my-"

"Your what? Friendship with Alice? Ruined. Your friendship with Cristy? Ruined. Your friendship with Jc? Ruined"

I looked at him as my breath became unsteady. My feelings were hurt, maybe that was his intention, "I was going to say future"

"Oh my" he said sarcastically, "perfect little Bailey can't ruin her perfect little future with her perfect little boyfriend because then the whole world falls apart, right?"

I sat up and looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed, "where is this all coming from? I never did anything to offend you, why would you offend me?"

"I'm not. I'm showing you the way you act"

"No-"

He interrupted me as he sat up against the wall, "tell me one thing. Let's say that in a fucking alternative universe or something he didn't fuck Cristy and was by your side would you leave Tyler, your strict ass parents and the future they want for you behind?"

I wasn't hurt anymore I was starting to get a big angry but then again I was surprised.

"All I've seen you do is push people away who care about you"

"No that's were you're wrong" I snapped, "I push people away who hurt me, haven't you noticed? I pushed away Jc because he hurt me, I pushed Cristy because she hurt me, I pushed Alice away because she hurt me and now I might push you away.."

"No matter what, you're not pushing me away but you never answered my question, would you have left everything behind for Jc?"

I rubbed my face and pulled my hair back. My hurt feelings were turning a corner and we're going from sad to angry, I was getting scared of the things I might do.

"You should leave, now." I said as I looked away from him.

He got up from the floor and grabbed his trash can. He looked down at me and walked in the bathroom.

"You and I both know you wouldn't leave everything behind for Jc. So why care that he slept with Cristy? It wasn't like you two would have actually become a thing" he said before he walked out of the room.

I covered my face with my hands and took in deep breaths. I slowly got back onto my feet and reached for a drawer under the sink. I took out my pills and swallowed two of them, these will help me out for the rest of the summer.

I don't push people away, do I? I don't think so. Except for those who hurt me and made me cry. Besides it was easier to push them away than to face them. What if I'm looking at all this wrong? What if I push them away to keep them safe from me? To keep the people I love safe. But I don't love them I hate them. That's the anger talking. 

Pushing people away is easier than caring about them. That's a fact.