The Cabin •Jc Caylen•

30. "If only I had a choice"

I laid on my bed and buried my face between the pillows. I let out a few sniffles once a while from all the crying. I'm so vulnerable, even when I try to be strong I always break down at the end.

My door opened without warning. I didn't even mind checking who it was, maybe I can use the company.

"Bailey?" Jc. I had a feeling it was him.

"Yes?" I asked as I rubbed my tears away and sat back up.

"Why are you crying?" He asked as he rushed to my side and embraced me in a tight hug.

That was just what I needed. I hugged him back and sobbed into his shoulder as I took in his scent. I missed him so much. I forgot about the pain he gave me and I just hugged him tightly as cried harder each second that passed by.

"I know they both hurt me but I forgive them for everything, I just want my best friends back" I sniffed and I let out a few breaths from my mouth since my nose was stuffy.

"This is why I.." he was going to say something but stopped himself.

"You what?" I asked as I closed my eyes and snuggled my face in the crook of his neck.

"Nothing" he said as he rubbed my back and kissed my cheek.

I pulled away and looked down. I look awful when I cry. He grabbed my face and lifted it up.

"Even when you cry" he started as he wiped my tears away, "you're gorgeous"

I let out a groan, "you make this so hard for me" I said as I grabbed his hands from my face and pulled them away.

"Tell me one thing Bailey, let's say for some fucking reason we met in a total different world and you actually had a choice between me and your responsibilities back home.. and before you make up an excuse, I know it's not the responsibilities holding you back from kissing me this instance, you're just scared" I wasn't scared. If I could kiss him I would of done it a long time ago, it's the responsibilities.. "if you actually had a choice, what would you pick?"

I looked down at my hands intertwined with his. They fit perfectly together, I know what I'm feeling but my question is why am I feeling it? Tyler is practically perfect, and Jc has a few imperfections but in my eyes he's nothing but this kind and amazing man. I've never met such a guy like him, Kian is completely different but each of them is perfect in their own way.

Jc has this smile that brightens up a room full of sad people. He also has this way of talking that makes everything that comes out of his mouth sound like it was written by god himself. His scent is mesmerizing, everyone has their own smell but his just stands out with ease. He has this hipster style that motivates me to dress just like him, the different colors and patterns makes it hard to compete with. He has this way of walking that makes it seem like each step he takes is on pure gold. His laugh, oh my his laugh. Every time he laughed I would catch myself smiling because he laughed at anything, he's a happy guy who likes to have fun and I admire him for that.

He's the reason i always laugh harder, he's the reason why I cry harder, he's the reason I try to get up every single morning since I've been here, just to get a glimpse of him. Even when I was enraged with him a small part of me would pray that we would crash into each other as I walked out of my room or as I walked into the kitchen.

He made a bad choice but that doesn't make him a bad person. I can't say I'm thrilled that he slept with Cristy but at least he had the courage to tell me he did. What would of hurt me the most would of been if I heard it from someone else that wasn't him. I forgive him for everything he's done to me.

What bothers me the most is that I can't tell him everything I've been thinking about! I get angry at myself because I can't tell him how crazy his eyes make me when he looks at me and smiles with those beautiful teeth, or the fact that his voice sends chills down my spine, or even when he touches me and makes my heart stops beating completely. If I can't tell him all that then I should answer his question honestly.

If only I had a choice..

"Yes Jc if I had a choice.. I would always pick you"