The Cabin •Jc Caylen•

87. "Mamà Pheonix"

As the time passed my internal pain became stronger. It got to the point where I coudnt even go down to dinner because I would cry non stop. I got a few hours of sleep but it wasn't enough, I missed the warm body that would lay next to me at night and pull me closer.

I miss the affection I would get. I didn't get it from anyone else so it was nice to hear someone say all these sweet things about me even if they were fake.

I miss living life. Even if it was just for two months. I miss it. I miss driving on the empty road, smelling the pine trees and fresh dirt. I miss hearing the birds chirp in happiness. The sun on my face giving me a warm sensation in the pit of my stomach.

I miss having fun with my friends. I want that again.

If I could change one thing of that entire trip it would be him. I wouldn't exclude him from the trip at all. I would just change him. I would change all the lies he told me and promises he broke. I would make him truthful and loyal. I would make him actually love me. That's all I would change, nothing else.

I hate him with all my heart but then again a part of me doesn't want to ever forget him. I will admit the second I got home I got my computer and my headphones and looked him up on YouTube and google.

I watched all his videos from a group he was in called o2l, his videos on his personal account and his channel with Kian. He looked happy
With Lia.

She's a beautiful girl but I still have a type of rage towards her. I increased my take on the pills, now I take two a day.

The days are definitely moving quicker than I thought. The wedding is on Saturday and it's now Thursday. Just a few more days to wait.

I regret what I said that night when I got off the plane. I don't want to get married, I'm not ready. I thought i was but no. I've decided to make a decision to talk to my mother and call off the wedding. I had he guts to give Justin a chance so I must have be guts to confront my mother.

The timing was absolutely perfect. She walked into my room and looked at me laying on my bed.

"What are you doing? It's noon and you're still in bed?" She asked angrily.

"Mother I really need to talk to you" I said as I sat up and turned on my lamp.

She looked at me and crossed her arms over her chest. She stood there looking absolutely perfect. She had amazing posture, her skin was perfection, her beautiful blonde hair was pushed back in a ponytail since she came home after a long surgery, her icy blue eyes looked down at me in anger. She seemed confusion mixed with anger. Why does she look at me like that? Is she angry with me?

"Mother listen, I love you and I thank you for giving me a home to grow up in and working hard, but I don't understand why you work, we have money that we'll never waste, it's enough to keep you and dad-"

"Father, not dad, father" she corrected annoyed.

"To keep you and father from working, so why would do it? I see how tired you come back and how frustrated you become when I ask what's wrong" I explained.

She rolled her eyes and looked down at me, "go take a shower and fix yourself, you need it" she said as she began walking away.

"Listen to me for once in your life" I spoke up. I was scared at first but I couldn't back down now, "I want an explanation why you want to get rid of me, you want me to marry Tyler whom I've known for so long yet I don't know everything about him" I said as I stood up from my bed and walked in front of her.