Be My Mascot

Chapter 53

Sorry it's short, this chapter is a filler.

Chapter 53

Bailey's POV

For the next four days, I stay inside where I can't come in contact with Harry. My guilt overtakes me and all I can think about is him kissing me. It's the only image running through my head and it makes my stomach churn. I didn't even kiss Harry back, yet I'm feeling this way. I feel as if I've cheated on Niall. Technically, I did because my lips touched another man's. But I didn't kiss him back! I was frozen still for the few seconds that we came in contact. In no way did I go with the kiss.

Harry has texted me several times since that dreaded day in the bakery. In each one, he apologizes and begs me to reply. But I don't. Because I don't know what to say. He was my best friend when I was younger, I hung out with him again years later- which, was really fun and I had a great time until he kissed me.

The ache in my chest intensifies every time I get a text or call from Niall, which happens a least two times a day. Over text, it's easier to mask my guilt and simply answer them without any problem. I keep them short and don't elaborate over anything about how my day went or what I did.

And I don't dare bring up Harry kissing me over a text message.

Niall deserves to hear it from me personally, and tomorrow when I fly out to Ireland, I will tell him..or maybe I can wait at least one night.

But it needs to come out. Our relationship can't have lies and untold secrets whatsoever. If I want him to be truthful with me, I need to reciprocate as well.

The calls are much, much more harder to deal with. Tears well up in my eyes when I see his name flash up on the screen. My stomach is always in a knot when I hear his perfect Irish accent and his soothing laugh.

"Are you alright?" He had asked me when I didn't laugh along with one of his comments. "Was that not funny?"

His chuckle brought the smallest smile to my face, but it was better than the sulk I wore before that.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "I'm just not feeling that well." That part had been true. I honestly wasn't feeling well. Knowing that he didn't know something major killed me inside. But I reminded myself that I was keeping it to myself for his sake. I need to be there with him when I tell him.

God why am I such an idiot? Niall warned me to stay away from Harry and not do anything stupid. I disobeyed both of them. Look where that got me.

"Well get yourself better by Friday because I won't let you stay home and miss your flight out to be here with me," Niall had teased me.

"I will."

"Good. I miss you, Bailey. I hate being away from you. Plus, I haven't gotten to kiss you in over a week."

Well there goes my heart that just ripped out of my chest and chucked across the room.

"I miss you too," I had said in reply.

"Have you been hanging out with Harry?"

Just from hearing his name, my throat had swelled up. Don't cry, don't cry. You can't cry over the phone or Niall will know something is up. Don't cry.

"Not really," my mouth spoke before my mind could catch up with a reasonable response.

"What does 'not really' mean?" Niall's tone got heavier.

"I mean, I haven't hung out with him in a few days." Again, this was true. It had been two days since I've seen his face when this call happened.

"He didn't try anything, right?" It was a strong demand.

I gulped down the stinging burn in my throat.

"No."

Oh, look. A knife just lodged itself into my heart.

Or maybe I stuck it there..

I swear, Niall knew about Harry kissing me and was purposely torturing me until I burst.

The guilt of lying to him on top of keeping the kiss a secret became all too much for me. I was about to lose it.

I told Niall right then that I had to go and he said goodnight to me with an edge to his voice. And that worried and scared me all at once.

I stayed in bed for those endless four days. I left my bedroom only for meals and to shower.

It was pathetic, I know. I just didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. And I most definitely didn't want to walk around town in fear of seeing Harry.

At lunch on the fourth day, my mother must have had enough of my lazy routine.

"Bailey, you need to get outside. You have been cooped up in your bedroom for countless days, doing nothing but reading books."

"I did some school work, too," I flatly respond, completely dodging what she's trying to say.

"That's not the point, Bailey. I don't know what's up with you, and I don't think you really want to share, but just do something. Today is your last day home before you leave for Ireland, can't you and I do something together?"

I lay my head down on the table and groan into the sleeve of my shirt.

"How about shopping? We could go buy you some more clothes," Mum suggests.

With my head down, I silently shake my head.

"Well I'm not taking no for an answer so go upstairs and get ready. I'll be waiting down here."

I let out another groan when she practically drags me off of the chair and towards the staircase leading up to my bedroom.

"Up," she points, and I feel like a child being scolded for bad behavior.

I know I can't get out of shopping with my mum. She will literally throw me into the car and drive to the stores if it comes to that.

I get dressed and washed, combing the tangled mop of hair on my head until it's mostly straight.

Mum drives to the shopping center and I leave with new jeans, shorts, light sweaters, and two shirts. I also bought myself a new purse since my other one was getting ripped up.

When we get back, Mum tells me not to go back upstairs into what she said was "hibernation" but I do it anyway. It's my last day home, I just want to relax and be alone.

I will admit that going shopping helped distract me from my very own soap opera. My head cleared and it felt nice. Now, being back in my bedroom, the thoughts come back and my brain clogs up.

Tomorrow, when I see Niall, I have to act as if nothing is wrong, as if I'm not mentally killing myself for letting Harry get too close to me. I won't let it go too long. One peaceful night at his house is all I want, and then I'll tell him everything.

I bury my face in my hands, an exasperated sigh releases from me.

This is going to be torture.

Super short chapter and it's really late, omg guys I'm so sorry. I have been incredibly busy with school and I couldn't update when I wanted. I will do my absolute best to update tomorrow or Sunday. I'm gonna start writing it nowww