Make you believe again

Chapter 39

Christens's POV

"Tobin I- I kinda- um maybe would- um- shit I want you too.", I mumble.

I can't beliveve what just happend. I fell for Tobin. I freaking fell for my best friend. I freaking want her but what if Julie wants me back? I don't even know if I still have feelings for her..
We were together for so long but still..

"I'm coming over.", I say to Tobin.
"Yeah that's a good idea. We should talk about this right?", she says nervously.
"Yeah. See ya.", I say and hang up.

What the hell is going on with me?

I leave my flat and walk down the street to Tobin's.
I knock at her door and she opens it.

"Hey..", she mumbles looking at the ground.
"Hey Tobs..", I say nervously and she leads me into the kitchen.

Julie is sitting there on a chair, bruises all over her arms and face. It would break my heart to see her like this, but my heart is still broken because she lfet me and it can't break twice.
But it hurts to se the ex-love of my life like this.

"Julie what happend to you?", I ask, trying to act mature and holding back my tears.
"Zach..", she whispers and I almost freak out when I hear that name.
"Fuck this asshole", I mumble.
"I- I have nowhere to go.. My mom would freak out when she heard that I'm not with him anymore.. And I obviously can't go back to him..
C-could I stay with you, Chris?", she mumbles with tears in her eyes and it breaks my heart again.

For the second time. Even though I thought it can't break anymore because it's so broken.
It's not the fact that she is so lost and that she has nowhere to go but the fact that she still tries to get me, after all what happend.

"Julie what the hell are you thinking? After everything you did to me? You think that I'll let you stay at my house?
I'm sorry but I can't!", I say and she cries even more.

"Julie. I am truly sorry for loving you. I am sorry for being so selfish right now but don't you realize that I'm a freaking mess? I am sorry that I fell for you and I am truly sorry for giving you a heart worth breaking.", I say, feeling the tears filling my eyes as I remember all the beautiful moments we had together.

"No I am sorry. For breaking your heart.", she mumbles and gets up.
"Imma leave..", she mumbles.

"I can drive you to Becky if you want. I'm sure that you can stay with her. But I don't let you go alone, I bet Zach is searching you..", Tobin mumbles with her raspy voice and stands next to Julie.

How nice she is, even though it's my ex she's bringing home.

"Please wait until I'm back.", she mumbles to me and I nod.

They leave and she closes the door behind her.

Who do I want? Julie or Tobin? I'm so confused. I want Tobin so bad but I can't get over Julie.. What should I do..?
Love is so confusing.