Until eternity

Heartaches & Realities

Its been great being on set this evening. There is a calm in the air. Everyone is happy and excited we are finishing up the last two days of filming.

Don't get me wrong we are going to miss each other, but there is nothing like finishing a movie. I'm excited for the fans to see it.

We've been filming for the last 2 hours when Neil gives us a break. Zoe and I are heading to craft services when she keeps pressing me for info about Theo and I.

"Come on Shai, what happened? You are never late for anything." Were you and Theo occupying each others time." She asks this while making obscene faces at me.

I just laugh and tell her, "A girl never reveals her secrets." She stops in her tracks with her mouth wide open and I continue to walk ahead of her laughing.

She yells for me to hold up she definately wants details now. I laugh as I continue my walk to craft services.

I haven't seen Theo yet, we split ways after we did the scene were he gets taken by Erudite. I'm currently working on the scene where we are in Dauntless trying to find out how to stop the control.

After me and Zoe load up on food we go sit, and again she presses me for info. I get a little nervous, and she tells me  I don't have to talk about it now. I think she realized something happened and doesn't want to push me for details.

"I'm sorry Zo, I promise I'll tell you once I know what's going to happen myself." She winks at me and we start to talk about random stuff. 

I catch a glimpse of Theo from the corner of my eye, and he is on his cell phone. He doesn't look to happy. He catches my eye and walks out the door once he notices I'm looking his way.

It hurts, and I start thinking the worst possible case scenario. I'm pulled from my trance by Miles bumping me as he sits next to me.

Party tonight at your place Shai, he says. I look at him and can't resist that boyish begging smile he is giving me. I laugh and say okay, I just need to make sure Theo is okay with it.

Miles takes off and starts telling everyone party tonight at Theo and Shai's. I just shake my head laughing. That boy won't take no for an answer.

I tell Zo I better go find Theo and let him know the plans. She winks at me, and tells me "Don't take to long, remember we gotta finish making a movie." Wink Wink.

I shake my head at her and walk off.

"Ruth baby, it'll only be 1 month. I know I told you I'd be home in two weeks but my publicist has lined up some things for me, and I can't say no." 

I walk up behind Theo as I hear him call Ruth "baby" and its like a knife straight to the heart. I continue to listen in on his conversation with Ruth.

"Ruth please don't be mad, I promise I'll make it up to you." 

As I hear this I go to turn and walk away because it hurts to hear those words...Baby....Make it up to you......clumpsy me walks right into some little table against the wall.

Theo immediately turns and I see his face go numb. I just take off running. Who was I kidding, why would he ever think of leaving Ruth for me. He's been with her for 7 years. 

All kinds of emotions are running through me, and I feel a panic attach coming on. I make a beeline for the door outside when I get there I run smack dab into Miles.

We collide and I land right on top of him. "Shit Shai, you know if you wanted to jump my bones you could of just asked."

I start to laugh and cry at the same time, he immediately apologizes and I reassure him it isn't him. "What is it Shai?" "You know you can talk to me about anything."

"Oh Miles, what is wrong with me? I mean why do things have to be this way?" He squeezes me tighter, and I lay my head on his shoulder.

He tells me he has no idea what is going on, and I giggle a little as I pull away and give him a hand to stand.

Shai, he says I will tell you this, "I don't know what is going on right now but life has a way of pulling us in directions we know isn't good for us, but  we got to be strong. Who said it, "Difficult roads often lead to beautiful places."

I hug Miles again and tell him thank you. "I hope you are right." As we stand in silence the door behind us opens and it is Theo.

Miles immediately looks at me for confirmation that I'm okay. I knod at him and he walks away telling Theo party at your place tonight. Oh and by the way take care of my lady here. 

He gives Miles a smirk at that comment, and Miles winks my way. I say thanks and he is gone. I turn to walk away and Theo grabs me. Before he says anything I start talking.

"Theo, I can't right now.  Hearing you talk to Ruth it, well it brought me back to reality. What we did earlier was wrong! I knew it was wrong but I let it happen, I don't blame you for it but who are we kidding. We can't go down that road. You have history with Ruth and you can't tell me you want to just throw it all away."

I try to pull my hand out of his but he pulls me in for a hug. He starts pleading with me.

"Shai, don't do this. Don't give up on me. We just got to figure this out.  I know it must of been hard to hear me call Ruth baby, and tell her I'll make it up to her for me staying here longer, but the truth is I'm staying here longer for you." I had my publicist get with yours and see what your schedule was gonna be like and well she said you were staying here for two weeks and heading back home for 2 more before you go off to film your next movie. I was thinking we could use that time to be together and figure things out."

I get kind of upset by this and push him away.  "Figure what out?!" If its gonna be me or Ruth? Spend time together how? I mean we can't try to be a couple for obvious reasons so why Theo Why would you do this to yourself. I mean forget about me, I knew what I was getting into when we did what we did. I had no right to you that way."

He doesn't say anything and  looks away with hurt in his eyes. I start to back away and he goes to stop me.  "STOP! I'm sorry so sorry I put you through this Theo."  I turn and walk away and he stands with defeat on his shoulders.

I hear my name being called over the intercom. Time to go back to acting I whisper to myself. I look at my watch and thank god we only have one more hour. 

Of course there is the after party Miles wants at our place. I thin to myself a drink would go good right about now.