Loving A Thug Ain't Easy

Selfish Ways

Tossing and turining I glanced at the clock and seen it was 5:30. I had this feeling I just couldn't shake. I quickly got up and went to check on Xy. Pacing fast I bypassed everything and basically ran to my daughter room seeing her still sleep I looked up at the photo frame of her and her dad and smiled. Feeling kinda crazy I laughed at myself inside. Hoping I could fall back alseep I went and got a cold bottle of water. Walking towards the kitchen I noticed Jayceon sleep on the couch. Nudging him a little I waited for a reply. Who told him to come here? His key is for emergencies only.

"Wassup?" He asked turning towards me and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how the hell he got ah hair cut and he didn't get out until late.

"When you get ah haircut?" I couldn't help but ask.

"That's what you woke me up for?" He asked sitting up and checking his phone.

"No dumb ass! I'm tryna figure out why you didn't get in the bed."

"Cuz you was sleep all type of ways. You know how hard it is to wake you up?"

Laughing I continued my journey to to the kitchen with him in tow.

"Why you up this early?" He questioned.

"I had ah weird feeling so I got up to check on Xy."

Watching him stretch his arm I smirked a little.

"What now Dior?"

Breaking me out of my thoughts I replied.

"Just thinking about when you first got that tattoo of my name."

"That's the day I realized you was really down fa ya boy."

"Boy gone." Low key that day made me see that I actually loved him.

Walking up towards me he grabbed me by my waist and kissed me. Knowing damn well I'm ah pro at this kissing shit I took control. Picking me up he sat me on the counter and used his hands to roam freely around my body.

Hopping off the counter I pulled him by his finger and led him to the bedroom. Unsnapping my bra I let it fall to floor as he slid my panties off laying back on the bed he went to work with that great tongue. Grabbing a pillow I threw it over my face to muffle my screams.

Releasing myself I got up and cut the shower on. While I waited for the water to warm up I looked at him as he undressed. Coming into the bathroom he grabbed the mouthwash and rinsed his mouth out. Stepping into the shower he followed behind me. letting the water run down my body I got the goose bumps.

"What are we doing?" I questioned.

"What you mean?" Rolling my eyes I continued soaping up my body.

"We don't have to put a title on this. You and I both know that were made for each other and as soon as all this shit over we leaving Chicago for good."

"You're right we don't have to put a title on anything but let me tell you something I'm not gonna sit around and pretend we're this happy family cause we're not and I'm not gonna wait around until you're man enough to step up so continue on with ya bullshit. Xy and I will be long gone. And I hope you enjoyed this pussy cuz it's the last time you'll ever touch taste or even look at it."

I'm not mad that he don't wanna be together I'm mad because he's pushing me away when this is the exact time he need his family around. All the secretive shit is for the birds.

Grabbing a towel I wrapped it around my body and exited the shower leaving him to ponder his thoughts. After dying off I put on lotion.

"Let me see yo keys." His entire attitude was different. I guess he felt them words. Looking him up and down I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you leaving? You don't have to leave regardless whats going on with us Xy haven't even seen you." Walking over to my dresser he opened the one drawer that held his clothes he leave over here. Grabbing a polo tee underwear and some Nike shorts he made his way back in the bathroom.

Grabbing a white tank top and a pair or black panties I stood at the closed bathroom door waiting for his reply that took damn near ten minutes.

"I gotta run to the crib and I'll be back before she wake up."

"Don't play with my baby be here and spend time with her!"

"Dior gone with that bullshit! Fuck you buggin up fa?"

Noticing I was overreacting I left the room and went to get the keys to my truck.