All I've Ever Wanted (Laurette)

Chapter 6

Laurens

Guilt settled over me, I had cost that man his life with my ignorant rage and pride. Had we left when Hercules said to, would he still be alive? I didn't really know him, but I had vowed to myself that I would avenge him. I cried for him, I kept thinking of the pained look on his face.

"I got him killed..." I whispered when Lafayette waited for me to say something. He hugged me gentle and rubbed my back. He said that there was nothing I could do, the British were the ones to blame and that I shouldn't blame myself. But I did. Who wouldn't? Wouldn't you feel terrible if you were supposed to protect someone but fail and the price of your failure was their life?

I helped bury him and paid my respects. After the burial, I went to my tent, sat on my cot and wrote in my journal. I started to feel slightly better as I wrote. I smiled a little as my quill danced across the page with grace and ease. I was zoned out and didn't hear Lafayette come into the tent. He came up behind me and stood, reading over my shoulder. Not knowing he was there, I wrote poems about love... About my pain, my happiness, and my anger. I wrote about whatever I could and as long as I wrote my poems, I felt better.

"That's a beautiful poem; I can see how it reflects your guilt..." Lafayette said softly. I gasped and clutched my journal to my chest. I looked up at him, blushing slightly and watched as he sat by me.

Lafayette

I sat down by him and gently grabbed his hand and made him lower the journal into his lap.

"You don not have to be embarrassed about your poems, Laurens, you are really talented. Would you read me one, maybe your favorite?" I asked, tilting my head. He contemplated it for a minute but then he looked at his journal, flipping through to pages to find a specific one. Once he found it I could see a small smile creep onto his face. He cleared his throat and recited;

"Fire, oh delicate fire

How you rage but maintain beauty, oh how delicate are thee?

Given a spark, ignite in the dark,

Rage, rage, rage!

Never back down,

Make the night so bright with your light...

Fire, oh delicate fire

I commend thee." He finished, looking back up at me when he was done. I saw a blush across his cheeks and he had a certain look in his eyes. A certain calm, collective, beautiful look in his baby blue eyes...

"That was a beautiful poem, mon amie..." I said, almost sounding lost because I couldn't stop staring into his eyes. I moved my hand slightly and accidently touched his that was resting on the cot. I quickly moved my hand away and apologized before he thought I had done it to make him uncomfortable, because come on, it was an accident.

"Have you ever written poetry...?' He asked after a few moments of silence. I thought for a moment and couldn't recall if I had but I didn't want to tell him no so I decided to come up with one.

"Uh, yeah once, I think I remember it." I lied.

"Will you share it, please...?" He begged softly, seeming to forget about his guilt, and I didn't want him to start feeling it again so I took a deep breath and began.

"A brilliant blue, like the clear morning sky

Nothing ever clouds it, always so beautiful

A brilliant shinning blue, eyes, yes the two.

Not just any, but the ones belonging to you.

Like heaven gave you stars for eyes.

Yes blue, brilliant blue." I said, blushing slightly because I had said that they were about his eyes. I don't know if he caught on to the fact that it was about him but I prayed he didn't.

"That was beautiful; you're talented as well- more than I." He said, smiling, seeming happier now. I felt my senses flood with joy at the fact that I was able to make him happy with my simple little poem. I put an arm around him and hugged him then told him to get some rest that I would tell the general not to worry about him. I'd handle his chores. I got up and left the tent, smiling and humming, the lines of his poem and mine intertwining as I walked to the General's tent.