Confident {Jailin Fanfic}

Confident {alone.}

Twenty-Two | Part One.

It's hard.

Going through this and feeling alone.

There was nothing I could do.

I thought ending it would only make things easier but it wasn't.

I'm sitting alone in the corner of the room sitting on the edge of the bed looking out the window at the skyline of New York City.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said faintly as I looked at the door open as my therapist walked in as I turned back quickly and wiped a tear from falling from my eye.

"Cailin, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I said lying.

"I'm used to being alone." I added.

"I'm sorry about you and Justin-"

"Look, you don't have to give me your petty. Either way you get paid whether you help me or not, so stop pretending that you care. You don't know what it's like or how I feel-"

"And my mother, God. She pretended like everything was okay and she knew it wasn't. God, I felt sorry for her. I grew up thinking she left because of me and to this day, I fear she did. She wasn't ready to raise me or give her life up for me-"

"Cailin-"

"It's true isn't it?"

"Cailin, I'm sure your mother loves you."

"Yeah, well she's dead."

"Yeah." She replied back faintly as turned my head away and continued to look outside.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

"I thought I wasn't allowed outside?"

"Maybe, just this once."

"Come with me? I have a feeling the media will burden me out there."

"How about I call your father and ask him to go with you?"

"No. He's done enough for me already."

"Alright, I'll go. Come on."

I grabbed my jacket and went alongside out the building with my therapist.

It was nice.

Being outside for awhile.

I forgot how it felt.

The air.

I was clustered in that place, it felt as if the walls were closing in on me.

The wind hit my face faintly.

My hair flew back as I continued to walk.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." I responded.

"If you don't mind me asking-"

"This isn't a session, please don't ask me anything." I responded.

"Cailin-"

"I'm not in the mood to talk, okay?" I said as I stopped walking and looked at her.

"Maybe this walk wasn't a good idea, let's turn back." I added.

"Cailin, you need to stop walking away from your problems."

'Cailin?'

'Cailin, are you okay? How's therapy going?'

'Why did you do cocaine Cailin?'

'Cailin, how do you feel about Justin hooking up with Selena while you were in recovery?'

'Cailin is it true you and Justin broke up?'

'Cailin!'

I knew this wasn't a good idea.

'She's not answering any questions, if you respect women, you'd leave this young one alone as she goes through recovery. Tell that to the media. Can't anyone have privacy now and days? Get a fucking life, you piece of shit.' She said defending me as she placed her hand on my back and held me close away from the paps.

She protected me.

Like a mother would.

Like I wish my mother ever did.

'Let's go back.' She said.

'Okay.' I replied.