"There's a difference between respect and fear" the scared sound of a girl is what started it all. Never in my life did I think ol' Jonny Guffet would hit a woman much less his own daughter. But when I visit an old friend and find his daughter cryin...
"So you actually like this girl" Billy says leaning back in his chair with a big grin. "She's got my fucking heart and I feel horrible for last night. I scared the hell out of her and she ran out crying" I tell the boys one of the last details to what happened last night when I tried to ask Snow what's been wrong. "Let me guess you don't want to hold her back from achieving her dreams" Carey says and I just go "fucking mind reader over here" and he laughs. "Y'all I'm gon' go home and try to figure this shit out and hopefully not lose my damn mind trying" I say bro hugging Carey and all the other guys then go outside, hop on the bike and leave. I shouldn't have yelled at her. I really really shouldn't have. I still can't get that look on her face out of my head. She looked heartbroken and scared, because of me. I don't want to scare my baby, I want to hold her and kiss her forehead and tell her I love her. I want her to be mine. I don't want to lose her because I was an asshole and couldn't control my temper. Please God don't let me lose her. Or at least don't make it hurt too bad.
When I get home I put my bike back in the garage and head upstairs to take a shower. I walk into my bedroom and see Snow. "Baby" I say running up and hugging her. She freezes and whisper's "please, don't touch me" while peeling my hands away from her body. "Snow, I'm so so so sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did, and your right I was an arrogant fucking prick" I try apologizing while she shoves all of the same clothes she got here with into that same little duffle bag. "Baby, what are you doing?" I ask, worried to death that I already know the answer. "I'm packing for college" she answers simply like it's no big deal but those words made my heart sink. "No, baby why didn't you tell me?" I ask grabbing her by her hips and turning her around to face me. "We're not together. You don't care about me. So why should I have to tell you? You said yourself you didn't want to love me and you got your wish". Oh god. How did she... I said that when she was asleep. Is that all she heard? With that she shoves the last of her stuff into her duffle bag and slings it over her shoulder. She stands right in front of me and looks up at me and says "Listen, Brantley. You mean so much to me and you have no idea how much it hurts to do this but I need something real. But...." she pauses and leans up, softly kissing me for no longer than 5 seconds and pulls away. "I love you" she says looking straight to my soul, tears nearly flooding out of her eye's. Me standing here in shock, not saying anything, she turns and starts to walk out of the room but not before I grab her wrist. "Snow...." is all I manage to get out before having to think on what I need to say. What's best for her and what's best for me. She looks up at me with hope, desperately wanting me to tell her I love her and that I've been hiding it all this time. But I can't. "You used to be a little girl with big dreams that you promised yourself you'd make real one day. Don't disappoint yourself" with those words, I let go of the one and only hand that has ever touched my heart and let her go. I watch her walk out the door and the physical pain I feel inside my chest of my heart breaking into millions of pieces is too much for me to handle. I like to think I'm a tough man but I can't hold back the ocean of tears that came of watching that girl walk out of my life. Lord, help me or kill me. Because honestly I don't care which one anymore.
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