What May Change [Min Yoongi FF]

Chapter 25

"Whimsy, oh my g-"

I turned and ran. 

Without letting any thoughts take root in my mind, knowing the consequence of allowing myself that, I made my way all the way out of the base, to the street, and down the road a bit before my body couldn't take anymore and I collapsed on the sidewalk, trying to breathe. 

My heart was pumping, chest too tight and lungs burning. Actually my whole body was burning. I could hear my blood in my ears, drowning out all sound as well, and I wasn't sure if I'd sat down on the sidewalk here or fallen. Were my eyes blurring because of the lack of oxygen or were those tears? Was I spinning, or was the world even still going round?

A hand on my shoulder turned my attention to someone who had finally caught up.

Panting, Yoongi looked like his arm must've been in immense pain from running to catch up with me. Thinking of how he'd put himself out for me once again, mixed with the look on his face reminding me once again of the perfectly summed up snapshot of my own life's apocalypse we'd seen. There's embarrassment, there's childhood trauma, and then there's actually walking in on your father screwing your mom's best friend with your poor boyfriend in tow. Everything hurt too much to know if what I was feeling was more fury at them or just the pain of both utter betrayal and knowing that everything in my life was going to be utterly uprooted. 

Sure, I should've come to terms with the fact that my parents were never getting back together earlier, but seeing my own dad like that was a pretty horrific way to realize, especially when it meant your entire relationship with your best friend, your living arrangements, and the most dependable humans in your life besides your own parents might be going out the window. 

"Whimsy-ah, can you hear me? Can you breathe?" 

This time it was definitely tears in my eyes, and I definitely was not breathing. I shook my head violently. Sobs started to take me over.

"Whimsy, jagi-ah," Yoongi bent down and brushed some hair out of my face, turning my chin so I had to look at him. I still couldn't focus. "Whimsy," He said more sternly, grasping my shoulder. "Come on now, you're hyperventilating so you need to focus on me for a second, okay?" His hand moved to my back, sweeping up and down carefully. "Take a deep breath in and hold it for me."

I tried, but it was too difficult to beat the racing feeling everything else in my body had. How was I supposed to override what my all my instincts were screaming? When every cell in my body was screaming to initiate a sudden death?

"Shh, it's okay Whimsy we just need to try again. Listen to me, breathe in," Yoongi urged. I took a big breath in even though it felt like I was being stabbed. "Okay now keep holding it until I tell you to let it out slowly," He instructed. "One, two, three, four...okay now let it out." 

I did, the world came into focus somewhat more. I was starting to hurt less, and my mind quieted down a little.

"Again."

It took several minutes, but Yoongi was patient. He waited until I came down. 

"We need to get home, Whimsy." He told me calmly. 

"No, no I can't go home," I begged. His eyes widened as he came to understand. 

"Okay, we'll go to my house instead until things calm down a little." 

***

By the time we'd made it back, I couldn't feel a muscle in my body. I let Yoongi lead the way and caved into my thoughts, where my mind was running through every worst case scenario and possible consequence of the events that had transpired. By this point my phone had rung until it went to voicemail at least seven times. At the eighth, I turned it to silent. 

Evidently my horror was apparent, because as soon as we stepped through the threshold of the boys' warehouse hovel the reaction from the boys was uneasy. Yoongi led me to the couch and knelt down in front of me, taking one hand in his own.

"Whimsy, I think we should talk about what just happened." 

"No. I'm not ready yet," I breathed. He closed his eyes, frustrated. 

"I know," I added, tearing up slightly again. "A few days ago you broke your wrist fighting your abusive parents and watched your dreams crumble and I'm crying right now just because my dad is a cheating, stupid piece of shit." My face fell into my hands sloppily and I wept out of sheer hatred of myself. Maybe I should've just killed myself that time.

Yoongi wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. 

"Whimsy-ah," He crooned, "that's not how it works. The other day, my world came crashing down on me. Today, yours is falling apart. But you were there for me that day, and now I'm here for you. That's it, that's what it's about."

A noise of surprise let us know that Jin has entered the room. 

"Yoongi-ah, what's going on? Is Whimsy okay?"

Yoongi looked to me in response, unsure if repeating the information would set me off again, or if I even wanted anyone else to know. I just shrugged my shoulders carelessly and went back to studying the floorboards. What did it matter now anyway?

Yoongi moved away and whispered something quickly to Jin, who gasped. Filled with new urgency, Jin didn't look twice at me. 

"Eunji- does Eunji know yet? Is she okay?" He blurted. 

Yoongi looked slightly perturbed by his instinctual concern for Eunji over me. 

"We don't know."

Jin turned to walk towards the other side of the room and pulled him phone from his pocket, beginning to dial madly. Before he could press call I was distracted by the light of my screen, showing a call. Not my dad this time.

"It's Eunji," I said as I picked it up. I waited another moment before accepting the call, not sure I wanted to have this conversation yet, even more terrified that Eunji might still not know, and I would have to be the one to break it to her. 

"H-hello?"

"Whimsy, thank God, oh my God Whimsy where are you?" Eunji asked. 

"I...I'm with the boys," I mumbled weakly. 

"Our moms are screaming downstairs and I don't know what's going on," She sobbed, "My mom came home freaking out and told me to go upstairs and-" 

"What?" I asked, acutely aware that I was about to witness my best friend go through the same life-obliterating moment that I had less than an hour earlier.

"Hold on-I-" There was a pause, silent save the painful sound of a sharp intake of breath one has upon discovering a horrifying sight or hearing devastating news. "Oh my God," Eunji said finally. 

"You went to your dad's today, Whim. You...you already know, don't you?" She whispered. 

"Yeah," I choked. Even over the phone, the noise of the brawl had reached such a height as to be heard indiscriminately in the background. It was getting nastier.

"Whimsy!" Eunji cried suddenly. "You need to come home right now."

"Why?" I asked hesitantly. "I was kind of avoiding it."

"No, get here now." Eunji demanded. "Your mom just said she's moving out."