Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 5

Dan grabs his bike and hops on, heading home, and not caring about going back to school. At this point he didn't care what the consequences were going to be if his father came home and found out, as bad as it might get. He refused to walk back into his own personal hell for today. Maybe tomorrow, but as for today, he's only really missing last block. Truthfully, if it weren't for Phil, Dan would've been dead right about now.

The plan was for him to go home and kill himself. Truly, he has about a million reasons as to why he should. But Phil gave him one good reason to stay, so that's what he decided to do.

Although when that runs out and Phil gets tired of him, he supposes he'll have nothing left to hold onto. Until then, Dan's sticking to all he has, and right now that's Phil.

"Really? He's probably not even into you. Let alone boys to begin with. Why do you think you'd have a shot at a boyfriend, or even a friend?"

He shakes his head to stop himself from thinking and pedals forwards. There's a weird clanking noise as he keeps going and before he knows it the pedal falls off, and he can't stop the bike. Rolling down the hill, Dan watches as his world speeds by. The bike slows to a stop right before he hits a moving car. The black SUV honks at him loudly.

"Shit." Dan mumbles, catching his breath after his heart jumped out of his chest.

"What the hell was that?"

Dan looks around the bike to see the pedal gone. He looks behind himself and grabs it from a few feet away. He tries desperately to screw it back in but as he's quite weak, that is near impossible. Dan stands up and stuffs the pedal into his backpack, grabbing the bike and walking with it to his house.

Not only does he now have to limp home because of his twisted ankle, but now he can't even ride the bike home. His father would never even think of helping Dan fix the pedal, so he's got to find a way to do it himself, or he walks to school.

After a long, long, walk back home, he rounds a corner into his neighborhood. He doesn't live in the best of neighborhoods, and most houses are known for loud parties, dark web issues and drug dealing. His father is somewhere in between all of those. Dan walks up the brick stairs to his painted white door.

Dan drops the bike at the front door and opens it, as it was left unlocked by his dad that morning. He walks in to the smell of old blood, vomit and beer. "Nothing like home sweet home"

Dan steps over beer bottles and stains of God knows what, and runs up the stairs to the only safe place in his house, his room. His room had old posters up on the white walls, and drawings. He had a closet that was neat and put together, which is where he dropped his backpack. A dresser sat next to the closet, and a TV stood on top. His bed was directly across from that, next to the window.

Dan checks his watch. "Only thirty minutes left of school, since it took me an hour to walk home."

Dan figured he would be better off without a good person in his life. That way he could kill himself and no one would care. His father wouldn't even make a funeral for the poor kid. Yet still, here he is, sitting on his bed wondering how the hell he got convinced into staying another day in this living hell.

Of course, it's not that Dan doesn't want a friend, really he needed one. He just simply figured it would be easier if he didn't have one. He just didn't want to be pitied. Yes, he was abused and bullied, depressed, and alone, but he didn't need pity. It's the worst form of sympathy.

Hey, Phil seemed like a really nice guy. But there was about a one million to one chance that they would ever form a relationship more than an odd form of pity, and some sort of feelings, whatever it was.

"This is so stupid. I'm sitting here dreaming about a boy who will never love me." Dan thinks to himself, lying down on his bed and staring up at the popcorn ceiling. "Either way.. If I don't kill myself, dad'll do it for me. So, really, my chances of ever making it out of this house alive are about zero."

A few minutes of life contemplation later, Dan checks his phone, seeing that school was over. This means that if Phil hadn't completely lied to him, he'd be over in a few minutes. Dan decides to get up and walk outside, and maybe try to fix that bike pedal.

After a few minutes of Dan just sitting in the driveway, staring down at the pedal and the bike like it'd fix itself if he stared long enough, a red car pulls up and parks in front of his house. Dan's jaw drops to the floor in shock. "He has a car!?"

Dan tries to compose himself as Phil gets out of the driver's seat, dragging his feet as he walks up to him. "Hey," Phil smiles. "whatcha doing?"

"Damn bike pedal fell off," Dan sighs, picking up the pedal and trying to screw it back in.

"How in the hell did that happen?" Phil chuckles, kneeling next to Dan.

"The world has a vendetta against me," Dan smiles. "What can I say?"

"Impressive," Phil remarks, grabbing the pedal from Dan's hand. "Let me give it a try."

Dan watches as Phil sticks the two together, screwing the pedal right in place and picking the bike up. "How the.." Dan trails off, this time not caring how shocked he seemed.

"Make sure it won't fall off," Phil says. Dan tries getting up, but grimaces as he puts too much pressure on his ankle. Phil sighs sympathetically, grabbing Dan's arm and pulling him to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Are you sure you didn't fracture it or something?"

"If I did it won't matter," Dan dismisses, leaning on Phil to check the pedal. "Hey, you fixed it though."

"Yeah.." He nods, eyeing the bubble above Dan's head. Then the words slip out of his mouth before he can stop himself. "Are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be," Dan replies honestly, meeting Phil's blue eyes curiously. "Are you?"

"Uh- Yeah.. Yeah." Phil seems to catch himself and shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "It's nothing."

Really, it wasn't nothing. Phil was terrified at the red bar above Dan's head, getting darker, and smaller. His heart was pounding and his mind was racing, thinking that this precious boy could be dead in any amount of time and Phil would not be able to stop it.

Dan knows by now when you say its nothing with that look, you're probably lying. "What is it?" He asks.

"You'd think I was out of my mind, Dan.."

"I am out of my mind. You can't change that much.. You don't have to tell me but if you want to.. I'm here. I guess."

"I wish I could.. I don't need another run in with a psych ward." Phil sighs. "It makes me look actually insane. I tried telling someone and they called the cops on me like I was completely mad."

"Sorry," Dan is filled with shame, he wishes he never asked to begin with. In his house, questions were never asked, not that he'd get an answer even if he bothered asking. "I.. I'm just.. Not everyone else. I won't think you're crazy. I might just understand."

"You'd think it was the only reason I'm with you right now," Phil says, looking down at his sneakers.

Dan looks up at him, frowning, "Is it?"

Phil looks up and meets Dan's brown eyes, firmly saying, "No."