Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 25

TW- abuse/suicidal thoughts/slight panic attack (None of which are in much detail)

||Dan's POV|| -Thursday-

After yet another horribly boring day at school I'm walking home with Phil. "You sure you can't come over for a little?"

"I don't wanna risk it.. Especially if my mom isn't home today. My dad just.. it's easier if I just go straight home.. Sorry." I say sadly, wishing I could just stay at his place for the night. I have quite a bad feeling about today, because my mom texted me saying she's going out due to my father's attitude.

"It's fine. You can come over this weekend though right?"

"I think so." I mumble, grabbing his hand as we walk, only a few minutes from my house. My heart races, hating the anxious feeling I get whenever I get to my neighborhood. I can feel the knot in my stomach grow as we reach my house. I hate being home. This place isn't home to me. Tears fill my eyes as we stand there.

"Well uh-" He stops as I rush forwards and wrap my arms around him. He freezes for a second, but relaxes and wraps his arms around my waist. We stay there for a bit as I wish desperately that he could somehow stay. "Angel, calm down. Your heart is racing." He mumbles comfortingly.

"Sorry. Anxiety." I whisper an apology, trying to calm myself down. "I don't wanna go in there." I say shakily as he pulls away a little to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, tomorrow's Friday. Only one more day really. Then you can come over my place." He says attempting to lift my spirit. "And if all goes south, you can always call me. I can even come pick you up if you need me to."

"Thanks." I mutter, kissing him deeply. He pulls away with a smile and kisses me on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow Love."

"Okay.. I love you." I say, wondering if I'd said the right thing.

"Love you too Dan." He smiles, kissing my forehead and turning around, walking towards his house. I turn towards my house, unable to wipe the smile from my face.

Although I am all smiles now, in a matter of seconds that smile disappears. I open the door, blushing and smiling. I'm greeted at the door by my drunk and very angry father. "What. Did. I. Tell. You?" He shouts, finding another way to hit me with every word. The smile is instantly wiped from my face as I bite my lip. My head already aches from being hit against the wall twice.

"N-Not to s-see Phil." I stutter, fear filling my head. I push myself off of the wall and stand up straight, not meeting my father's eyes.

"And what did you do?!" He yells once again pushing me against the wall.

"I l-let Phil walk me h-home." I gasp, grabbing my shoulder.

"Oh and that's not it is it Daniel!?"

"N-No." I whimper, a small sob escaping my lips as I bite back tears.

"Well go on then!" He pushes me again, looking down at me.

"I-I kissed him."

"Little fucking slut." He slurs, grabbing me by the shirt and throwing me to the floor. "And a guy too? I always knew you were a fucking fag."

"I-I like girls too Dad." I mumble softly, still not sure of myself about that. I haven't yet come to terms with who I am in that way. I have never really been in a relationship. Hell, I don't even know Phil's sexuality. We still have hardly talked about relationships and all that. It just sort of happened. But my father has to ruin the one good thing I have left doesn't he?

"He's probably just using you like everyone does. No one would want someone like you." He spits as I scramble to my feet. "Look at yourself!" He sighs heavily, pulling up my sleeves. "Do you think anyone is going to want you when you're like this?"

"You don't really help me much." I mumble, instantly noticing my mistake.

"I'm the one keeping this roof above your head! I'm the one who makes the money around here! Without me you wouldn't fucking be here!" He screams, hitting me hard. I stumble back and decide I'm fed up with this.

"Well maybe I would like it better without this fucking house! Maybe I don't want to be here! Maybe I'd rather be fucking dead!" I snap, tears falling from my eyes as I rush up the stairs.

"You would be better off dead! It would save me a hell of a lot of money!" I hear him shout as I slam my door shut, breaking down sobbing. I eventually cry myself to sleep, forgetting about the rest of my problems for a while.

When I wake up it's nearly 2 in the morning and my parents are fighting. I could tell my father was extremely drunk and my mom had just come home. I wasn't going to interrupt, until I hear a loud crash.

Concerned for my mom, I rushed down the stairs, my eyes growing wide. I see my mother on the ground, surrounded with glass. "Mom?" I ask softly and she sees me although my father doesn't. I notice the blood dripping on the white tile, and the gash on her cheek. She shakes her head quickly and motions me back up stairs.

I run up the stairs, loosing the ability to breathe as I can tell I'm damn near a panic attack. It always scared me when my dad would get physical with my mother. I never minded much if he did things to me, but my mom.. that's another story.

I close my bedroom door and curl back up in the bed, tears falling immediately. I hated crying, but the anxiety and fear is getting to much for me to handle. It feels like the world is closing up on me. I try to drown out the shouting, only to get painful memories about my own encounters with my father. I'm shaking and unable to breathe, losing my mind.

I need to get out of this. I need to leave. I need this to stop. I stumble though my bedside drawer, hoping to find a blade. I find one and hold it up. Then I remember I promised Phil I'd stop. Wait.. Phil! I can call Phil!

I drop the small piece of metal, looking under my pillow and grabbing my phone. I dial his number and in a few seconds he picks up, yawning. "Hey angel, what's up, its nearly 2:30."

"I-I'm sorry. I just.. I need to stop thinking about all that stuff. I needed to get my mind off of it. I was going to cut but then I knew that I promised I'd stop so I called you instead. I know its late but I'm really not okay."

"Okay, okay." He says tiredly, processing what I just said. "What happened angel?"

"M-My parents are fighting. Its r-really bad. My dad's in a b-bad mood. I'm just really scared.. I don't know what to do." I say, shaking my head. "I've got to get out of here." I whisper softly.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"B-But my dad-"

"We'll only go out for a little, just enough to get your mind off it." He reasons and although I really want to, I don't want to be a bother.

"But you're tired." I protest, the things my dad said really starting to get to me.

"I've been sleeping since 5. Plus, it doesn't matter. You matter more." He says sweetly, making my heart swell.

"Thank you." I whimper, so relieved to have him.

"I'll be over in a few minutes." He says, getting up.

"Thanks. I'll meet you in the front."

"M'Kay."

~~1332 Words~~