Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 21

Yet another trigger warning because I'm just full of happy things *Sarcasm*

Yeah so TW ab suicide and self harm

||Dan's POV|| -Tuesday Morning-

I woke up dreading having to walk into school, but quite happy to be in the arms of someone I know that cares. We eventually make it to school, hiding out in homeroom for the beginning of school, trying to avoid the rumors and most importantly, Sam. By the time 2nd period rolls around we've been confronted by 3 people, which is already too many for a day.

Phil and I manage to get to our third period, math class, without anyone asking a million questions. I end up sitting in the back of the class, for some reason, having anxiety fill my head. The class is all too quiet and I'm mentally freaking out. I need to do something about this..

My head is filled with flashbacks from a few nights ago and if I don't leave now I'm going to end up having a panic attack in front of my entire class. I shuffle through my backpack until I find a small blade and I stuff it in my pocket, walking up to the teacher's desk. "May I use the restroom?" I ask softly, getting a few strange looks. Jesus, I'm just asking for the bathroom.

"Go ahead. Don't be long." She nods, not even looking up from her papers.

"Okay." I mumble, turning around and walking out of the room, relief flowing through me. God, I hate sitting silently in a room of people. I rush into a stall and sink to the floor, a sob escaping my lips. I don't think I'll ever be okay after what happened. This time wasn't as bad as last time, but it brought back memories from last time..

I will myself to pick the blade from my pocket, leaning over the sink and cutting into my arm. "Shit." I hiss, not expecting to cut that deep. I get a bit lightheaded at the gush of blood that flows from my wrist. I've never cut that deep. It scares me, and I just stand there and watch the white sink turn red. I know this is self destructive, but I can't stop myself from doing it again, with less pressure this time, but the pain is oddly addictive.. comforting in the worst way.

After a bit too long I clean up and pull my sleeves back down. By the time I'm walking back to the class it's nearly over and I'm so lightheaded the room is basically spinning. I manage to get to my seat and put my things away. The bell rings and I just sit there as people file out. "Dan? Are you alright?" Phil asks, standing in front of my desk.

"Nope." I say breathlessly, standing up with spotty vision and walking to my 5/6 period class.

"Dan, what happened, you're stumbling around like you're drunk."

"Not drunk. Just lightheaded." I manage to say before banging loudly against the lockers for support, unable to stand up straight.

"Do you nee- What the hell?" He says quickly, eyes widening at the sleeves of my hoodie. My eyes follow his to the sleeves of my grey hoodie, now soaked red. "Dan what the heck did you do?"

"I didn't want to." I say, trying to walk towards my next class, but with my increasingly spotty vision and inability to even walk right, it fails. I end up slumping against the lockers and letting my eyes fall closed as I hear Phil attempting to talk to me.

||Phil's POV||

"Dan? Dan?" I say, noticing he's definitely passed out. "You're a piece of fucking work Dan." I huff, picking him up and bringing him to the nurse.

"What happened?" She asks when he's put in the bed.

"He cut, and passed out." I say, not sure what else happened.

"Alright. But I'm a school nurse, not a doctor. This kid needs stitches. We can't do that." She says matter of factly.

"So what are you telling me?" I ask, quite annoyed with her tone.

"We should call the parent, or an ambulance." She answers, just as any other staff member of this school would've said. I know dan would hate me if I let her call his dad, so I can't do that. Plus an ambulance would be a bit dramatic for our school.

"I'll just bring him." I say quickly.

"Are you a legal guardian?" She asks looking up from her phone.

"No, but-"

"Then you really aren't allowed." She cuts me off, making me quite upset.

"Can you give me a break? The kids been though so much." I ask finally, not sure what else to do.

"Only because I know he doesn't like me calling his dad." She shakes her head, looking at him sadly. "He really needs to get himself out of so much trouble, or whatever he does. I've never had someone come to this office so much."

"Yeah. Well, I should get going.." I say after she finishes, finally starting to show some concern for him.

"You can carry him, by yourself?" She asks skeptically.

"Not well, but.."

"Come on, I'll help you." She smiles, walking over to the bed.

~~850 words~~