Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 54

A/N- if ya'll don't watch the Gabbie show I highly suggest u do. I love her somaj and she's literally gorgeous. Anyways my point in saying this is she has a single out called out loud. Which is the song attached here ugh I love it.

||Phil's POV||

We stand like that for a while, crying our eyes out and holding each other like the other would run away if we let go. I'm filled with a swarm of relief and guilt, unable to hold back the tears I've been holding in for so long. It's raining and cold but it doesn't seem that either of us hardly noticed.

I simply don't want this little moment to go away. Because that means we'd have to move on and go back to the world. I hate the situation we're in right now, and there's nothing I can do to change it much. I don't ever want to let him go. I've never been more terrified in my life then when he was texting me. And God when I saw him sitting up there, it nearly broke my heart in two.

This isn't going to be easy. Just because his bar is orange now doesn't mean it's going to stay that way. After what happened just now, it wouldn't surprise me if that bar is bright red come tomorrow morning. It's not like I want that, believe me I want to opposite. But I'm being realistic here.

After everything that's happened, I can't expect him to be okay. I don't even bother to see if I'm doing okay. Honestly, I'm near my damn breaking point. In fact, I may already be there given the fact that I'm crying hysterically at the edge of a bridge holding onto my suicidal boyfriend like a fucking life line.

I can't help but wonder what's going on in his head. I mean out of all supernatural powers I could have, why not mind reading, or teleportation? That wouldn't doom me to constantly trying to save people from the inevitability of death. Plus, who the hell wants to know more about death then we already do?

On a real note, I do wonder what he's thinking right about now. I'm a bit too much of a mess to even form a coherent thought.. But with his overactive mind I'm sure his is racing. But what is he thinking?

"Phil we probably look nuts." He mumbles after we both calm down enough to say anything. I chuckle sadly, biting my lip.

"Is that the main concern?" I mutter, shaking my head. I pull away from him a little, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket.

"Well it would be nice to get out of the cold, not to mention the fact that we're soaking wet." He comments, looking down at our clothes, now drenched in freezing water. I sniffle, looking him up and down and giggling at his messy curls.

"Lets go." I nod, wrapping an arm around him as we walk to the car.

I manage to hold it together, feeling weak at the fact that I was the one crying much harder. I mean he's the one going through all of this. I don't even have the right to be this upset. He's handling it better then I am. At least that's the way it looks. But apparently he's not holding up too well either.

The car ride is silent, with me trying not to let tears blur my vision. He looks out the window, his mind clearly in another place. Yet still, insanely beautiful. I've never met someone who can be crying their eyes out and still look like an angel.

Me on the other hand, can hardly function. I guess he's used to life going to shit. I am not. Of course I know how to handle bad situations, and I'm normally the one to take control of a problem. Today, is not working in my favor. Everything from the past week, and well, past few months just came up and hit me like a damn tidal wave.

Just the fact that I was so close to losing him today.. And here I am again, thinking about things I shouldn't.

In a few minutes we're in the house, in dry clothes and huddled together on the couch. The shock of this whole situation has died down and the tears have come to a stopping point.

I lean back, yawning as I pull him closer. He looks up at me with glossy eyes, not saying a thing as his eyes scan over me. He brings a hand up to my cheek, leaning in. He pauses right before our lips touch and meets my eyes. A small smile appears on his lips as he leans in, kissing me deeply.

"Phil?" He mumbles against my lips, breaking the silence as he pulls away a little.

"Hm?"

"Never mind. It's a childish question." He mutters dismissively, shaking his head. I look down at him questioningly and he blushes. "It's stupid. The answer is obvious.. I mean you wouldn't be here if I'm wrong about your answer."

"Hm.." I nod, wondering why he's acting all nervous and flustered.

"What are we gonna do Phil?"

"Angel, can we not think about that? Too much has happened today. Just, forget about all that for now."

"Whatever you say." He shrugs, resting his head in my lap. I bite my lip thoughtfully, twirling the ends of His hair. I look down at him lovingly, shaking my head at myself. Tears prick at my eyes, noticing the bar above his head turning a shade of yellow. "Why are you crying?"

"Everything. Just, Everything." I shake my head, wiping my eyes. "I'm just really glad you're here.. and okay.. It's also good to know you love me cause you kinda told me you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I'm sorry.. I have a tendency to push people away."

"I realize." I chuckle tiredly, running my fingers through his hair.

"I won't push you away this time."

"Don't make promises you can't keep love."

~~968 words~~