Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 35

||Phil's POV||

It's around nine and I've been sitting in my room, sulking. After that conversation with my brother I'm just a little worried. I can't focus on anything and I keep staring down at my phone in hopes that Dan might call. My wish came true, but it wasn't quite what I expected.

Dan- Help.

The screen brightens my face as I stare down at the single word. It could mean so many things. My heart nearly stops as my head is filled with worry.

Dan- im so sorry Phil.

Dan- please, just.. help.

Dan- I can't do it anymore

Dan- I really can't..

I stare down at the screen before typing out a question.

Me- where r u

Dan- the park.. but don't come.

Me- be there in 10

Dan- wait!

Dan- Phil.

I shut off my phone, already making up my mind. I grab a jacket and rush out the front door, shouting where I'll be to my brother.

When I pull up to the park I instantly notice the brunette, pacing back and forth. I get out of the car, rushing over to him. He turns around, looking worried at first, but gives up the act, rushing over and hugging me tightly. "I-I'm so s-sorry Phil. God I'm s-so sorry." He mumbles, sobbing into my chest. I let out a sigh of relief, hugging him around the waist tightly.

"Oh Angel.. What happened?" I whisper softly, kissing his shoulder as he tries to catch his breath. He just ends up sobbing harder, gripping at my hoodie. He's absolutely hysterical, unable to catch his breath and ending up gasping for air. "Baby, calm down." I mumble softly, rubbing his back as he finally takes a regular breath, shaking. But it goes back to the way it was seconds earlier because he can't seem to keep it together.

"I-I c-can't." He chokes out, resting his head against my shoulder. It makes me wonder what exactly happened to get him to text me. We've got to talk about this, but in this moment, I just need to make sure he's okay.

"Hey. Just breathe. Calm down. It's okay." I assure him, not letting go of him until he calms down. "Dan?" I whisper once things calm down a little.

"Y-Yeah?" He asks, his voice still shaky.

"Why'd you text me?" I ask, hoping that didn't come off wrong.

"A whole lot of reasons." He mumbles like a tired little kid. I try to pull away to look him in the eyes but he just hugs me tighter. "Please don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere Angel." I chuckle as his grip finally loosens, but he doesn't lose contact, grabbing my hand. "We should talk though." I say reluctantly.

"Can we talk later?" He mumbles as we make our way over to a park bench.

"As long as we do." I agree, putting my arm around him as we sit down.

"M'kay." He mumbles, leaning into my touch. We sit there in silence, and I focus on his uneven breathing. I can't help but wonder what has happened to him while I wasn't around. I don't decide to speak until I hear a little sob come from the boy in my arms.

"What is it Love?" I ask softly and he shakes his head, wiping his cheeks.

"Everything. Every-fucking-thing." He chuckles sadly, sniffling. After a few seconds of silence he pipes up again. "Why do you care?"

"You don't choose who you fall in love with. It just happens. There is no why. That's not the kind of question to ask. I care because I can't stand the way the world has treated you. I care because I hate to see someone so perfect hate everything about themselves." I say and he tenses up, getting upset again.

"Stop saying I'm perfect. I'm the fucking worst. No one could love me." He says, not sounding like himself. What kind of things have you been telling yourself? I wonder, frowning.

"Then please tell me how I love you so god damn much." I say, and he just shakes his head, sighing.

"You must be doing this out of pity or something." He says dryly.

"No. I'm not." I say firmly, tears in my eyes. "Dan. I don't think you realize that I'm in love with you." I say, noticing him looking away from me. "You hear me?" I ask, turning his head towards me. "I'm. In. Love. With. You. Dan. Howell."

"You can't be." He says, tears flooding his eyes. It seems as if he's been telling himself these things as a way to 'get away' from me.

"Why not?" I say, still holding him by the chin.

"Because I'm a wreck. I'm just some broken boy. Who could possibly love someone like me?" He says, his voice slowly raising.

"Me." I mumble honestly.

"Stop it." He says, jumping from my touch and standing in front of me. "Stop caring! Stop being so fucking nice!"

"I can't." I say hopelessly, standing up in front of him.

"I can't deal with it anymore! What will it take for you to hate me?" He shouts, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"I could never." I say, crossing my arms and looking at him firmly.

"Why not?"

"You don't deserve it. I know deep down you love me too. And if you don't, thats okay. Because no matter what you do, I will love you."

"Stop it would you?!" He shouts, pushing me back, not meaning to do any harm. "Why do you love me when I'm being nothing but unloveable?!"

"Because I know you really don't mean it. I promised I'd always be there. Even if you tell me you hate me and never want to see me again. If you call me crying and just need to talk, I'll be there. I've told you a million times, I love you. I'll do anything for you."

"God you make this so hard!" He shouts, looking up at the sky. "God I fucking hate you!" He yells angrily, although I know he doesn't mean it. He tries running off again but I grab him by the wrist, watching him wince.

"I'm not letting you run away again." I mumble, pulling him in for a hug as he crumbles in my arms, sobs escaping his lips.

~~1048 words~~