Save Me ; Phan ~ completed

chapter 32

||Phil's POV||

After coming home on Friday I ended up falling asleep, crying my eyes out. I'm just worried sick for Dan, and I don't know how to fix this mess. Saturday went by without any contact from him. Although I called him, it went right to voicemail. Sunday followed the same pattern, which resulted in me just sitting in bed and sulking.

When the week started up again, Dan came to school on Monday, wearing all black, sleeves pulled up over his hands. I couldn't help but notice the busted lip and cut on his jaw. He avoided me, although I tried my hardest to get through to him. I ended up only getting a sentence out before he ran off, never meeting my eye. Then after 5th period he disappeared.

Tuesday was just the same, but he came to school with more injuries. He left the class in second period, telling the teacher he was sick. Wednesday rolled around and I was the one to leave the class early. Everyone wouldn't stop questioning me about that damn letter. Teasing and gossiping to me. We were all working on a project and I was paired with two popular kids. I left the class after 10 minutes.

Thursday was the only relatively normal day. I still sit next to Dan in every class. He just always has headphones in, or looking the other way. I couldn't stop myself from staring at him when I got the chance. I didn't realize how quickly he can crumble. He's back to where we we're when I met him. He clearly hasn't eaten in days, he's always shaking, or biting his nails. He's cutting again, I can see the scars. His dad is probably beating him more often.

Through the course of the week, the bruises and cuts have only gotten worse. I did see him talking to Zoe and Louise lately though. Which is good I guess. But it's not like he tries to talk to them, they just come up to him. It's strange how much you can notice about a person after you get to know them.

So this leads us to Friday, today. I woke up late, and sped to school, not even bothering to get a thing for breakfast. I've even found it hard to stomach food lately. Just knowing that something's really wrong with him.. I need to find a way to talk to him, before that bar is completely empty.

I get to class just in time, dropping myself in my seat. The day starts pretty normally, with me being stopped by at least 3 people with questions about Dan and I. Hell, I don't even know how to answer if I wanted to. In our writing class, I've finished the final draft, and turned it in.

I'm supposed to be silently reading or doodling or whatever. I can't focus enough to even read the damn book. I stuff it into my backpack, leaning on the desk tiredly. I haven't been getting much sleep either. I just keep wondering to myself, what's going on with Dan? What's going on in his head right now?

I find myself staring at him with lovesick eyes. I just can't help myself. As much as he wants me gone, or says he does, I love him. I'm still determined to save him, and I don't care how long it takes. He's just so painfully beautiful, he's someone you could stare at for hours and still be amazed. The way he looks thoughtfully at the writing, a small smile appearing on his lips as he reads it over.

I miss seeing that smile. I miss everything about him. I miss those lips. I miss the way he talks when he's got something to tell me. I miss how he blushes when I wrap my arm around him. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone that is sitting right next to you. And no matter how close we are, he feels so far away.

I want to be there for him. I know he's hurting. I know he's telling himself I never cared. I know that he's slowly crumbling down to nothing, breaking apart every puzzle piece that I've matched and throwing them across the floor. He's thinking it'll be easier to let us go. He's trying to tell himself he's better without me.

Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe he thinks he's better without me. But I know thats not true, because he's better with me.. Right?

I end up not focusing on my work in the next 3 classes, too busy thinking, and staring at that beautiful curly haired brunette. Hell, I don't even know what we're supposed to be doing in this class. He turns and notices me staring, looking the other way instantly. Then about a minute later, he turns towards me, but doesn't look at me. "You can stop staring at me." He mumbles, looking back down at his paper.

"Uh.. Yeah. Sorry." I mutter, shocked that he spoke to me. But, that was the only time he spoke to me. The rest of the day drones by, and that completes the school week. Marking a whole week since I've spoken to Dan.. for the most part.

Yet again, I'm driving home, anxious for the boy who seemingly wants nothing to do with me.

~~897 words~~

A/N - I may have a smut chapter in the works for further on in this book.. Warning you.. I'm bad at writing smut, but I just felt like trying it out. When it comes y'all can skip it if that ain't what you're into. That'll be the only thing that that chapter consists of so.. yeah.. Just don't judge me. I hardly write smut. k thx bai