the fall • s.m.

30 • photos & phone calls

// margot kate franklin //

@margotkatefranklin: what a show!! thank you Philadelphia let's go it again xx

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I gently scrubbed the makeup off of my face, peeling off fake eyelashes and sighing. When I was done, I stared at myself in the wide hotel mirror. I looked...tired. So tired.

I shook my head, turning off the lights in the bathroom before shoving my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants. I walked back into the hotel room and crashed onto my bed, my tired body quickly thanking me.

I pulled the sheets over me. I'm heading back to LA tomorrow night, and I couldn't be more excited. Nonstop shows for two weeks is absolutely exhausting. Exhilarating, to say the least, but definitely exhausting. I can't wait to go home.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and the screen brightened, showcasing a few messages and notifications. I ignored them, too tired to want to talk to anybody. A late night phone call sounded nice, the kind where you just fall asleep listening to their voice. But I had no one's voice to fall asleep to.

Instead, I found myself skimming through my photo gallery. I don't know why, but I just miss everyone. It's nice to remember the good times. I'm pathetic, what's new.

I scrolled to the section of my camera roll that was mostly pictures of Evan and I. There were a ton. When I got a new phone, I made sure my pictures got transferred. I don't think I could handle not having them.

I found myself staring at a picture of us after a football game, our junior year. We were both looking at each other and laughing, oblivious to the fact that Remi was taking our picture. I was so happy; carefree. These days I'm so...not.

I scrolled to the next one. It was a picture of Evan that I had taken. We were at my usual coffee place on a bright Sunday morning. His dirty blonde hair was slightly disheveled, but still looked perfect. He was looking at me like he knew I was taking a picture of him, a small smirk on his lips.

I remember that right after I had taken it, he had grabbed my phone, laughing, and taken one of me. I scrolled to that one, where I was attempting to cover my face with my hands. Even though I was trying to hide my face, my smile was obviously showing through my hands. I smiled to myself before scrolling to the next one.

I looked at what must have been a hundred photos of the two of us. I found myself staring at the last one we had taken before...before.

It was another one courtesy of Remi. I was sitting at the piano at my house, and Evan was sitting next to me. He was looking at me like he loved me, and I was smiling, looking at the keys I was playing. It was a good one.

I didn't know it would be the last one.

After staring at it for what felt like forever, I wiped away a tear before scrolling again. I cry too much. There weren't many pictures after that, just some of me, Remi, Cal and Bec. I wasn't really in the mood for pictures anymore.

There wasn't much in between January of my junior year and June of the same year. That summer was when I started feeling happier again.

Soon enough I was looking at pictures of me and Shawn. The first was taken the night we kissed for the first time. It was before all that went down though. It was he and I, just sitting in his car. He was holding the phone, grinning as I smiled next to him. I remember telling him that I didn't want to take a picture, and that he should put the phone down. He didn't care though, and laughed as he snapped the pic. Our first Instagram picture, fueling the first rumors of us being a couple.