the fall • s.m.

33 • no more apologies

// margot kate franklin //

@margotkatefranklin: thank you all so much for your get well wishes!! you guys mean the world to me, love you Xx

• • •
a few days later...

I stared at the ceiling for the one thousandth time today. The same beige panels stared back down at me.

"When can I get up?"

My mother looked up from her phone, her tired eyes meeting mine.

"I don't know, honey. Are you feeling up to it?" she asked.

"Yes. Please. I need to get up, Mom," I told her.

"You can ask Dr. Jones. He said after a week you could be up and walking, nothing else. It's been about that," she said.

"It's not like I could do anything else with this stupid machine attached to me," I muttered, looking over at the infusion pump that had basically become another limb of mine at this point.

My mom gave me a look, shaking her head. My father had gone back to work for the week, and Liz was trying to get some work done without having to go back to LA. My mother refused to leave.

Then there was Shawn. My God, that boy. I don't even know what to feel around him anymore.

All I know is that I like being with him. We can talk and laugh and he makes me feel better. He's a good friend right now, and I'm not sure I'm ready to ruin that so soon.

When the doctor finally came to visit me for the day, he actually gave me permission to get up and walk around.

"You have to take it very easy, Margot. I trust you, but I just have to stress how important it is to be careful," he told me.

"I definitely will. Thank you," I said to him.

He smiled. "You're welcome. Be safe, Margot."

He left, and my mom grinned. "You're going to walk, Margot!"

I rolled my eyes but laughed.

"It's like when you were just a baby learning how to walk," she said, smiling to herself.

"Not really," I replied, but she wasn't listening.

I laid my head back on my pillow, ignoring the worsening pain in my abdomen. Happens all the time.

"I think I'm going to wait for Shawn. He would like to walk with me, don't you think?" I said, looking at the time on my phone.

"He'd like to do anything with you, Margot. He's been sitting here next to your bed for a week now," my mom replied with a smile, looking back at her phone.

"We enjoy each other's company," I said with a shrug. "He's my friend. There's nothing wrong with that."

My mother gave me a look. "It's obvious he wants to be more than your friend, Margot. And the way you act around him, I would probably say the same for you," she told me.

I quickly shook my head. "No. Just friends. That's all we're going to be, ok?"

"You two can be whatever you want to be. I just like seeing you happy. And you always seem to be happy around him."

I shrugged. "Maybe so."

I laid in my bed for a couple more hours, watching reruns of Friends. This was my daily. Waking up, watching TV, talking to my mom, staring at my phone, eating, anxiously waiting for Shawn to arrive so I could have some human interaction with someone besides my mother, and then sleep. After a week, it's gotten pretty boring.