the fall • s.m.

55 • that's it

// margot kate franklin //

@margotkatefranklin: a day without you is like a year without rain...

• • •

"Liz?"

I held my phone to my ear, waiting for her reply.

"Margot. Hi," she replied, unenthusiastically.

"Hi," I said.

She sighed. "What's up?"

"Um, nothing really. Just wanted to call and see how you're doing, I guess. We haven't talked in a while," I replied, tapping my fingers on the kitchen table. I was still in Albuquerque; Shawn was still sleeping downstairs, and I figured now's as good a time as any to finally call my sister. We haven't really spoken in literally forever; I couldn't even tell you how long it's been.

"Margot, listen," she started, but she paused, so then there was silence, and all I could hear was the faint hum of the refrigerator.

"I didn't mean for it to be like this," she said, her voice quiet. She sounded weak, for once in her life. She didn't sound like the girl who always knew exactly what to do and how she was going to do it. The confidence was gone.

"I know," I said softly.

There was another long pause of silence. I thought she was going to hang up.

"Miles broke up with me. Last night," she told me. I heard her sniffle on the other end of the phone. I'm sure she was crying.

"Liz, I...I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry," I replied. I could hear her crying now, so softly, but it was still there.

"I don't know what to say either. I don't know what to do, Margot. What do you do when you lose someone who was your everything?" she asked, and I could hear the pain in her voice. It was hurting me just listening to her. "I don't know, Margot. I really don't."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really have any useful advice. When I lost Evan, it was different. It wasn't his choice to leave me. But Miles is perfectly alive, and he made the choice to walk away from Liz. It's just different.

"I gave him so much. I gave him my everything; I worked so hard to keep this going because I thought that he was still in love with me like I was still in love with him," she said. She sniffled again, then let out a sarcastic laugh "God, that sucks to say out loud. He's not in love with me anymore."

"Liz, I —"

"I saw it coming, of course. It seemed like we just couldn't agree on anything; everything always ended in an argument. But I just never thought...I never thought he would just give up on us," she said quietly.

I didn't say anything. Me and my sister haven't talked anything in forever, and now she's actually opening up about this, something so serious. I don't know what she wants me to say.

"I'm sorry, Liz. I really am," I told her. "It sucks; believe me, I know."

She was quiet for a moment.

"That's the thing, Margot. You don't know. I mean, I don't think I've ever even heard you and Shawn have a disagreement on anything more serious than where you want to go to eat. You don't know, Margot, and that's why I've been such a bitch to you. I just feel so inferior. You have a perfect boyfriend who literally adores you, so how would you understand what I'm going through with Miles? You wouldn't."

Who is she to say that I don't know what she's going through? At least Miles is still alive. It's not my fault that she has a sucky boyfriend. Well, had a sucky boyfriend. It's not my fault that I'm happy.