the fall • s.m.

58 • epilogue pt. I

// margot kate franklin //

about a year and a half later...

I rocked back and forth on my heels, trying to spot my boyfriend in the crowd. Not something I'm used to, you could say. I ran my fingers through my once perfectly curled hair, hoping that it still looked okay. Either way, he would think it's cute. But I want it to actually look cute.

My mind is racing because I'm nervous. Our schedules could not have worked out worse this past month; I've been ridiculously busy and so has he, as always, and it's been four weeks since I've seen him in person and I'm kind of nervous. Why? I don't know.

You're pathetic, Margot. He's your boyfriend.

I looked down at my phone and the last message he sent me lit up the screen again, reminding me that it was there. I had already read it, but I smiled as I looked at it again.

can't wait to see you too!!! Xxxx

Something so simple can make me feel a million different kinds of good, is that crazy? I don't know or care, because my mind is too busy going about a thousand miles an hour just thinking about seeing him again, and touching him, and...

We've been dating for over three years, and I think a month has got to be the longest time we've gone without physically seeing each other in a pretty long time. All the other times have usually permitted one of us to be able to catch a show on tour or cross paths somewhere, but this time, it's like every possible conflict was there. It sucked, but maybe a bit of time apart was good for us. I mean, we spend quite a bit of time together when we're both in be same city, so some separation was probably refreshing. Especially for him. The poor boy is probably so sick of me.

And so I rocked back and forth on my heels a bit longer, looking down at my phone every once in a while to check to see if he's called me or anything. I twisted the ring on my finger anxiously like I so often did, making it impossible to not think of him four hundred times every day.

I examined the ring closer and wondered if it was ever going to be replaced by another. We talk about it sometimes, but I can never really tell if he actually wants to get married. I was pretty against it for a long time, but the first time I actually opened up to it was the night of Cal and Bec's wedding, after the whole thing had ended and we were back at my house. I had just said, "I'm ready when you are." But I explained that I didn't think it was a good time then, because it just didn't quite make sense at the time. It just sort of seemed like, at the time with all of the weddings and relationship things going on, there was all of this speculation around if we were going to get married soon or not, like everyone was expecting us to. It's been almost a year and half since then, and it still kind of seems like an insane idea to get married now, us still being pretty young and caught up in the whirlwind of our careers. But at the same time, we're not getting any younger. I'll be twenty-two in January, and done with college a few months after that. My main thing was waiting until I was out of school. That's so soon.

This May will be our four year anniversary. Is that a long time? It's felt like forever, and I'm surprised it's only been four years. I mean, I guess it's been five years if you count the first time we actually started dating, but there was about a ten month hiatus in there, so it doesn't really count. Still, four or five years. That's so long. Even after all that time, there are still butterflies in my stomach getting ready to see him. I thought that would have faded by now.

I shook the marriage thoughts out of my head and looked down at my phone. Where is he?

And then I saw his tall figure making its way towards me, instantly diffusing the nervousness in my stomach. He was here and I love him and what was I nervous about again?