The Lone Survivor

Chapter 30 - Reality vs Forgery

Fabian's POV
I remember everything- everything except where these two men fit into my life. All I know is that somehow, at some point, they hurt me. And recently, they took me from my lover.

I don't know why, but when I think of Lukah as my lover, the words feel wrong, somehow. And when I say them, the words taste sour on my tongue. I think harder, trying the fit the vampires into the picture. But every time I try, I feel nauseous and have to stop.

When I think about recent events, the true memories seem to shimmer and slip out of my grasp, replaced by what Lukah has told me. And I've been brought up to not believe everything I'm told without proof, and what proof do I have that anything that's been said is true?

Is Lukah lying to me? Are the twins telling me the truth? Or are both parties lying to me? I don't know how I'll ever work it out, when both sides are adamant that they speak the truth. And could Chase and Zion fake sounding so sad, so sincere? I have memories of Lukah, but how will I ever know if they are real, if I can't trust my own mind?

I think back to my time with Lukah, where I see myself smiling in his embrace as we passionately make love. On the surface, it looks as if we were happy. But... could it be?

I've thought back on this memory many times as it provides a little relief, knowing I was happy. But I never saw the cracks before. It's almost as if the memory is cracking at the edges, as if something has been covered up... I reach out, hesitantly pressing, willing what I now realise is a forged memory to fall away. And when the facade shatters, I wish it never had.

I almost threw up.

I see myself screaming in agony, blood trickling down my thighs as the man I believed to be my lover raped me. How did I not see it before?! How did I let myself be ruined?

He lied to me, and somehow fabricated good memories of our time together. It makes me feel sick, knowing what he did to me, and how I sang his praises and demanded to be taken back to him. But do I want to stay here?

I now remember the true Lukah, but no matter how hard I search, nothing of the twins has been fabricated, but there are blank spots in my mind where memories have been erased... And that means I can't see the true memories unless they can help me remember. And if those memories were so bad, I suppose they wouldn't want to help me.

It's time to put on a brave face, come out from my safe spot and ask for their help myself. I may be terrified of them, but I need answers. I need the truth, no matter how much that may hurt me.

Chase's POV
We just kept drawing blanks. How the heck are we going to help Fabian? Especially as he's so unwilling...

Or so we thought, until we heard the creak of the stairs. Our eyes shot towards the sound, to find Fabian stood there tentatively. I saw him swallow nervously and take a deep breath as he walked towards us.

When he got closer, he stopped and bowed his head, a gesture which left me feeling confused. Until he spoke.

"Please help me, I-" he stopped for a moment to collect himself. "I know what
Lukah did to me, b-but I can't remember either of you, no matter how hard I try I can only see the gaps where I assume you fit into my life"

Zion tensed, and it was then that I realised I hadn't filled him in... I took the horrific news bad, so I can only imagine what Zion is going to be like...

"What. Did. Lukah. Do. To. Him." he hissed through clenched teeth, his body visibly shaking slightly.

"I don't know how to tell you, without you storming off and making an attempt on his life" I laughed nervously, trying to lighten the mood. I don't want to be the one who tells him I really don't.

"Chase. You better answer my question this instant, you can't dodge your way around this one"

"I destroyed the note, but I still have the picture he left. I don't know why I kept it, honestly. Here" I said, fishing into my pocket and handing him the photograph, refusing to look upon it again myself.

I expected him to get angry, to scream obscenities, to punch something. But somehow, this reaction was even worse.

Silence.

Silence as tears dribbled down his cheeks, meeting at his chin and falling without a sound to the floor. Silence as stared blankly at the picture, until it fell to the floor with a soft fluttering sound.

I heard Fabian gasp in horror as he looked at the picture, but he didn't say anything either. Instead, he wordlessly threw his arms around my brother, rubbing his back soothingly.

I could only watch with wide eyes as Zion hugged him back, murmuring that he was sorry, and that it was all his fault. Fabian shook his head, standing on his tiptoes to kiss Zion's cheek. I felt tears of my own fall at the sight of the two of them so close.

"I don't remember how it happened, but I'm sure it wasn't your fault, either of you. If you had really hurt me I'm the past, or had intentions of hurting me now, you wouldn't have reacted like that. Now I'm sure. You two must have tried to save me from him, but I was too blinded to see it. I'm going to ask- no, beg- for your help again. I need you to help me remember, it's breaking my heart how much you seem to care for me when I cannot remember an hour with you"

Zion managed a small smile, whilst I just wiped away my own fallen tears. "Yes, of course we'll help you. It's the only thing we've been trying to do all along" I whispered, hugging the both of them.

I didn't realise that when we took that small, anxious shifter in, we were both going to fall so deep. He may be hard work sometimes, especially with all the baggage of his past, but I wouldn't change a second of our time together for the world. Every single experience has made us grow stronger, closer. And I just know that we're only going to grow closer in the future.

And I think I know how we're going to get him to remember us.