We'll Write Our Way Out

My Dearest, Alessia

"That's me. How may I help you?", Alessia asked with a frown, looking from Washington to Hercules and back.

"We should discuss this inside."

Quickly Alessia moved aside "I'm sorry, I should've offered this earlier, come inside!" Washington and Hercules stepped inside, Alessia closing the door gently before she led the way to the living room.

"I shall bring Frances to bed and join you afterwards, I hope you can wait a little," Alessia said and smiled at the two men, before quickly heading to her Frances room to put her to bed. She had already fallen asleep as she was in her mother's arms, so she just carefully put her down, pulled the covers over her small frame and left the room.

As she reentered the living room she asked "What can I help you with?" She noticed that they still were standing, so she quickly added "Have a seat."

"Mrs Laurens, you might want to sit down," the general said, gesturing to the couch. Alessia frowned a little, but nevertheless did as she was advised, before she asked "What's wrong?"

Washington looked at Hercules and nodded. Hercules then came over and handed Alessia the bundle in his hands. She noticed his hands were shaking a little. It confused her a little.

"What is this?", she asked, looking from the bundle up to Hercules, then to Washington.

"I'm afraid your husband, Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens, engaged in a gunfight on the 27th of August and was killed," the general then finally revealed.

Alessia froze. She stared at Washington, shock and horror becoming obvious in her eyes. Tears slowly began to cloud her vision as she then turned her gaze to the bundle in her hands. This was Johns coat.

Her hands began to shake. A tear escaped her eye and fell onto the coat. As bit by bit realization began to dawn on her, she pulled the coat closer to her chest and hugged it tight as tears were streaming down her cheeks non-stop now.

"I'm sorry for your loss," she believed to hear Washington say but her mind was too clouded. John. Gone. That couldn't be. He couldn't be dead, he promised her he'd stay alive. She didn't want to believe that this was actually true, that her husband and best friend, that he was gone.

Alessia was crying and crying and crying, the coat hugged tight to her chest, as if she was scared that someone might take it from her.

Soon she felt a pair of arms being wrapped around her and pulling her close. She believed to hear someone say something, but she couldn't understand a word. All she could understand though, was that it was Alexander next to her.

Alexander held Alessia close to him, rocking back and forth, as he tried to comfort her, which was quite difficult as he was crying as well. He had gotten the message of Johns death an hour earlier so as soon as he had a clear mind he headed over to her place.

Alessia cried for what seemed like hours, until all that was left was her sobbing. She was still clinging onto the coat, but now she also had an arm wrapped around her brother, holding onto him so he didn't dare to leave her. She wouldn't be able to handle being alone now.

Slowly but surely Alessias sobs began to die down. In the end, Alessia fell asleep in her brothers arms, her cheeks stained wet from the tears and her breathing ragged.

When Alessia awoke she found herself in a strange room. She's never been here before. On a chair beside the bed she noticed Johns coat with a few other things on top. Slowly she got to her feet and walked over, taking the things on top of the coat and placing them aside, before she pulled the coat on.

It still smelled like John, despite how long he probably hasn't worn it. The thought that John died in this coat brought Alessia to tears once more, but for now she tried to fight it back. She took a look at the other objects. One was a locket. As she opened it, she was met by a picture of her. She closed her eyes as she tried to hold back the tears.

The other object was a letter. On it was her name, in Johns beautiful but messy handwriting. Her hands slowly began to shake once again as she carefully took the envelope, staring at her name for a while, before she opened it and pulled out the letter.

My dearest, Alessia,

If this letter reaches you then it must mean that my time has come. I hope this day shall never come, as I plan to spend the rest of eternity with you. I want to grow old with you and live my life to the fullest. I want to watch our children grow up and bless us with grandchildren. I want to spend every waking minute with you.

When this letter reaches you, I can only apologize. I apologize deeply that I broke our promise. I apologize that i didn't stay alive as I've promised you. I apologize that our daughter will grow up fatherless. I apologize to have left you behind alone. I apologize that I can't spend the rest of my days with you. And I apologize that the last time we've seen each other before this was the day after our honeymoon.

I long after you so much that it almost breaks my heart. I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss your angelic voice, I miss your beautiful eyes, I miss your sassy and outwitting personality. I miss you. Every day that passes hurts me more and more. But I cannot imagine the pain you will have to go through after receiving the message of my death.

I love you Alessia, more than anything in this world. You're the most important woman in my life and I feel so bad for leaving you behind.

I don't want you to suffer. Try to live without me. Try to move on. I want you, or rather I need you to be happy. Whatever it is, if it makes you happy then give into it.

I love you.

Yours, forever and always in your heart,

John Laurens

Alessia took a deep breath as she laid the letter aside and pulled the coat closer to her body. It was large on her, so it was a little warming. But the thing luring her in the most was John familiar scent. She'll never see him again. And this was his last resort.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks again and she tried to hold back her sobs. It took her a while until she finally calmed down. Wiping the tear stains away, she got to her feet and headed towards the door. She pulled the coat closer around herself as she walked down the hallway and downstairs.

She recognized the house as Alexander's and Eliza's home. She headed towards the living room, the place where she heard noise from, assuming that her brother and sister-in-law were there.

As she stood in the doorway, she saw Philip and Alessia on the ground, playing, while Alexander and Eliza sat on the couch and watched over them. With them were Hercules and Lafayette, Hercules sitting on the ground and entertaining the children while Lafayette sat on the couch opposite of the married couple.

Lafayette was the first one to notice Alessia. He quickly got to his feet as soon as he noticed the tear stains on her cheek and headed over to her, pulling her into an embrace. Alessia tried but she couldn't hold back the tears once more.

Not with her husband gone forever.

[ believe me when I say that I cried writing this chapter and at the end of the Letters one ]