Finding Pluto {riarkle} [completed]

Part Thirty: The Girl

Riley

I stay in the bay window for the rest of the night.

How am I supposed to sleep after that?

I don't. That's the answer.

I had been angry for so long. For good reason, but i still never gave Farkle a chance.

I know nothing can change what he did. But I know Farkle, and that wasn't the real him. It's a version of him brought on by bad decisions.

We all do things we would never do if we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing.

That's why I forgave him.

I know he's sorry. I know he means it when he says he would go back and change it. I believe him when he says he'd never hurt me like that again.

I truly forgive him.

The only thing confusing me is if I still love him like that. All of this stuff is getting in the way, clouding my thoughts of him.

How can I be with him, only to think of what he did every time I see him?

And what about Evan? He's been nothing but good to me. He gets hot headed sometimes, but so do I.

I can't believe this. I'm in the middle of a triangle once again. Except now i'm Lucas.

Now I understand why he could never choose. Having to choose between two people you care about... it's impossible.

And i'm not even sure how I feel about Farkle anymore. A part of me will always love him. Always has, always will. Nothing can change that.

But Evan. He's been there for me. He genuinely cares about me. Which is big for him because he doesn't let himself care about anyone. How can I hurt him by going back to a guy who cheated on me?

uuggghhhh.... i wish i had maya right now

She'd know what to say, but i'm still not talking to her either.

I walk over to my bed and get under the covers and let sleep take away my worries.

I wake up to a text from Evan.

Evan: we need to talk

Nothing else. That's it.

He probably just wants to know what happened last night.

I meet him by the tree outside the school.

"Hey." I give him a smile and a quick kiss.

He smiles back. "Hey."

I take a deep breath. "So, you wanted to talk?"

"I just wanted to know what happened last night." He says calmly.

I let out my breath. Good. He's not still mad. I tell him the truth. "Farkle told me he still loves me. He also said how sorry he was and..." I take another deep breath before I say the next phrase. "I forgave him."