Matthew Daddario imagines

NO NEED FOR FORGIVENESS

Summary: Reader with sister Clary find out that their mom was killed by Alec who was possessed by a demon. Reader and Alec then get into a fight. After the others manage to defeat the demon, Alec finds reader in the greenhouse and apologizes confessing his feelings for reader.

As I rounded the corner of the corridor leading to Clary's room, I immediately regretted the decision to go see her.

I came face to face with a view of Alec and Clary looking at something with horrified expressions on their faces.

I knew that I wouldn't like what I would see but the view I got once I entered the room was much worse than my expectations. There on the floor was my mom with a big hole in her chest without any signs of being alive.

I blinked few times hoping that what I saw wasn't real. However her dead body was still there. As I couldn't bear looking that way any longer I turned my head towards Alec and Clary.
Just then I noticed that Alec's hands were covered in blood.

"What..," I gulped taking a deep breath, "what happened?"

"I... I don't know," he finally tore his gaze from the body and looked at me wide eyed.

"How can you not know?" I shot at him confused.

"I don't remember anything," he furrowed his eyebrows clearly feeling uncomfortable.

"There's a camera. We can watch the record," Clary spoke up still looking at the floor.

"Yeah, let's go," Alec nodded leaving the room.

I glanced at Clary one more time not understanding how it was possible that she was so calm before following Alec.

We watched as Alec stabbed my mom and clearly enjoyed it. We knew that it wasn't really him but the demon, but there was still that tense silence around us.

"Clary, I...," Alec started once the video ended but she cut him off.

"I have a demon to kill," she stormed off leaving us alone.

"Y/N," this time he turned to me, "I am so sorry."

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it," I shot at him angrily.

I didn't know why I reacted that way. I knew it wasn't his fault but I had so much anger in me that I needed to let it out. And in that moment I didn't care how or if I cause some damage by my behaviour.

"What are you talking about?" He furrowed his eyebrows, "of course I mean it."

"No you don't," I shook my head, "one Fray down, two to go. Right?"

"What the hell?! I didn't want to kill her," he gulped confused by my behaviour.

"Oh, C'mon," I laughed bitterly, "you have never been pleased with my family appearing in your life. So maybe you didn't want to kill her but it came in handy for you."

"You know what? Screw this, I shouldn't have even apologized for it because it hadn't been my fault," he rushed away leaving me alone.

Ignoring the questioning looks from the people around me I ran away from the room.

I ended up in the greenhouse, the only calm place in the Institute.
Tears were strolling down my face, but I didn't care. Just now I fully realized that I had just seen the man I was in love with killing my own mother.

I didn't want to blame Alec but I needed to blame someone because otherwise I would blame myself. Because if it was someone's fault then it was mine.

If I hadn't left her alone after our fight, that had started because I didn't want to go to Idris, she would have been probably still alive.
But now she was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.

I didn't know how long I had been sitting there, but I didn't have enough strength to even cry anymore.Suddenly I heard footsteps coming from behind me.

"Here you are," I sighed hearing Alec's cold voice.

"Yeah, do you need anything?" I turned around looking at him with defeated look.

I had already regretted acting the way I had towards him. I feared that I would loose him as well which I couldn't imagine.

During the time me and Clary had spent around Lightwoods, I had formed pretty close relationship with him. Contrary to how he treated Clary, he was always here for me and supported me.

And do as the time had passed somehow I had fallen in love with him.

"I just wanted to inform you that the demon is dead," he answered with stern expression on his face, no sign of emotions in his eyes.

"So you did. Now you can leave me alone," I looked away from him not bearing to see him looking at me that way.

"Hey," he suddenly took a few steps towards me crouching in front of me, "Can you just hear me out? Give me another chance, please."

"I...," I was taken aback because I had thought that he was mad at me.

"Well, actually I don't even know what I was going to tell you," he took deep breath looking directly into my eyes, "but I just want you to know that I really am sorry. I would have never done anything that would hurt you . I desperately need you to forgive me. Can you do that?"

"Why?" I asked confused as why he was so desperate, "Why you need me to forgive you?"

"Because I love you. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you for the first time. And I can't bear you being mad at me," he turned his gaze away from me probably being afraid of my reaction.

"Wow," I widened my eyes not being prepared for something like this so I didn't know how to respond.

"I knew that confessing love can be awkward so I will leave before it will get even more awkward," he stood up but I stopped him grabbing his arm.

"Will it still be awkward if the feelings are mutual?" I smiled weakly at him letting go of his forearm.

"You mean that...," he trailed off not having guts to say it aloud.

"I mean that I love you too," I chuckled standing up in front of him, "and I am not going to forgive you anything, because there's nothing you need to be forgiven for. It wasn't you and it wasn't your fault. I have known that from the start but I needed to blame someone and I am sorry it was you."

"That's okay. I am here for you and I always will be," he squeezed my hand in his looking at me with eyes full of love and care making me forget for a while about everything that was going on around me.

"Are you going to kiss me now or what?"