Matthew Daddario imagines

Was this a goodbye kiss or a start of something new?

Your relationship with Alec never really had a label, but it was closer and more intimate than any Parabatai bond Shadowhunters shared with each other. Isabelle would often tease you about your feelings for Alec, urging you to make it official before it got too late. But you were stubborn and you had principles - you wanted Alec to say it first. Even though his actions proved his love for you many times before, you wanted words.

You were walking past Lydia's office only to hear Alec's voice coming from it. When Jace described a Parabatai's death he mentioned a piece of you dying with them, that it felt more horrible than any heartbreak or death of a loved one. Hearing Alec asking Lydia to marry on behalf of the Institute and the Lightwood name, it wasn't just a piece that died within you. Your whole soul shattered into tiny bits as your lips parted like a fish's out of the water.

You ran past Isabelle who was yelling your name and out of the Institute, you needed time for yourself. The anguish you felt coursing through your veins was unspeakable. It was only when your cell phone rang that you realised you were nowhere near the Institute and had wondered off through the wooded park behind the old church.

"Yeah?" Your voice was cracked like a wall with too many layers of paint.

"Where are you? There's chaos in the Institute, a Forsaken managed to get in, Hodge and Alec got injured."

Subconscious fear settled in your blood at the thought of something happening to your Alec, "is Alec okay?"

"Yeah. He's been asking for you."

A sudden bitter feeling gurgled in the pit of your stomach as you bit your tongue, "how sweet."

"Is everything okay?" He whispered into the phone as to not alert anyone in the vicinity. Jace knew how the relationship between you and Alec worked and even though Alec'd never admit, you were an item. Even their parents agreed to that.

"Ask Alec's future wife."

You hung up on the conversation and sighed, walking slowly back. You didn't want to face Alec. Jace frowned and walked to both Alec and Hodge who were being looked over by Isabelle.

"What?" Alec asked when he saw the condescending glare on Jace, "congratulations on the engagement."

"What?" Isabelle echoed her brother's previous question, a large smile on her face. "You finally asked (y/n)? Was about time, big brother."

She noticed the frowns on both men and she realised her enthusiasm was too soon. Alec explained somberly, "I'm marrying Lydia Branwell, to restore the Lightwood name and to run the Institute. How did you find out anyway? Lydia tell you?"

"No, (y/n)."

"Oh," Isabelle chimed sadly, "that's why she ran off earlier."

"What? She ran off? Why didn't you stop her?" Alec started panicking. He was doing all of this to bring honour back to their name and to show the Clave the New York Institute is worth its reputation, he still loved you with all his heart. His heart dropped when he realised just how much the truth hurt when he said it out loud.

You were investigating recent demon activity in the Pandemonium Club. You were surprised at first; you didn't think Magnus would let so many demons onto his territory. And you didn't really know much of what was going on since it had been a week you were last in the Institute. Remembering the bitterness attempting to regurgitate whatever you had eaten that day when you ran into Lydia made you tear up. How you despised the carefree, cheerful expression she wore - having no idea of the life she ruined by agreeing to Alec's proposal.

"Congratulations on the engagement," you whispered and she smiled brightly.

"Thank you. I mean, I know it's only business, but I see more in time."
You forced a smile, "he's a good guy. You're lucky."
"Thank you. Good luck on your mission."

Alec was searching desperately for you, he even tried tracking you down with a Rune, but you were too clever. He found a note on his bed that sent him into a frenzy.

"I wish I could've told you sooner. I love you."

You realised all too soon that the Pandemonium was staged as a trap. You focused all your frustration and anger on the demons, utilising everything Jace and Alec have ever taught you during training. However, you didn't get out unscathed. Your side was pierced with a weapon and you were bleeding out quite fast. Magnus was nowhere around and you collapsed onto a sofa, energy spent completely.

Your eyes began to close from the amount of blood you were losing onto the sofa. And you didn't even want to find the energy to fix yourself before it got worse. You felt like one of those pathetic teenage girls whose dreams were crushed because the love of their life rejected them. You were stronger than that. You pulled yourself onto your own two feet and started making way towards the kitchen niche.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Lydia Branwell." You lifted your shirt and slid the wet cloth across the wound, a hiss ripping past your lips.

The door suddenly slammed open once more and you grabbed your seraph blade, afraid for your life for the first time. You were in no condition to fight a new wave of demons. However, you were in luck. You've never been so happy to see Alec in your life. He called out your name, anger and worry creating a storm inside him. His body was rigid, unable to form coherent thoughts or even a plan of action. His body swiftly turned around and his eyes met yours for a brief moment.

You felt your head being lifted onto a warm and muscular lap, a hot palm caressing your clammy cheek.

"Magnus, do something!" Alec yelled over the ringing in your ears, blotches of darkness covering the edge of your vision. The sound got quieter and quieter the longer you heard it until there was silence.

Your eyes winced open to a familiar setting, brown wooden walls covered in photos and frames of you and your friends. The nightstand beside you held a frame of Alec, his arms wrapped around your tightly. It made a smile form on your lips. You sat up and stretched your aching bones, your hair messy and dirty, signifying you've been drifting in the dark for quite a while. The door opened and in walked Simon, carrying a jug of water. He dropped it and it smashed on the ground, the sound bouncing your brain off your inner cranial walls. The commotion attracted other Shadowhunters and for a moment, you saw Jace's blonde hair. Then it was gone.

Simon was pushed out of the doorway as Alec stormed in and made his way to you. His arms wrapped around you without a word and you held him close, your face hidden in his shoulder. The world around you disappeared. It was just Alec and you. Having hugged him made you realise just what you would have lost if you gave in to death. You wouldn't be able to feel his flushed skin against your cold palms, his ever so often five o'clock shadow making your cheeks itch, his radiant smile lighting up the room. His deep, penetrating brown orbs gazing into your very soul.

"Oh, (y/n), I was so worried. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" You whispered, finally looking into his saddened eyes. The memory of the conversation you overheard flashing in your mind, forming a bitter smile. "You should be happy. You're going to get married."

He looked at the ground, feeling his fist clench and unclench around the sheet beside you. His unwavering gaze met your tired one, his lips finally greeting yours a welcome back. You curled your fingers into his locks and pulled him closer, never wanting to let go. Never wanting to let the electricity stop flowing through your bodies, locking you in place.

Was this a goodbye kiss or a start of something new?